The Naked Truth

It’s odd how some things just pop into mind at certain times, out of the blue thoughts that meander to the forefront….

The other day I was talking to a good friend when a memory, as vivid as the day it happened, spilled from my lips.  My friend and I were reminiscing about long ago times, when we were the “young” people, like a young woman who had just left the store where we work.  There are quite a lot of young moms that visit our store every day, and they always remind me of times gone by.

So many of my memories from my days as a young Mom are centered on times with my children along with my Mother and Grandmother.  The memory that popped into my head the other day was one of those times.  My daughter was just 4 years old; my son wasn’t born yet.  It was a warm afternoon in early September and my daughter and I were visiting my parents’ apartment.  I remember the telephone ringing (in those days the phones were still attached to the walls).  My Mom answered and I could hear her say, “Okay Dad, we’ll be right there”.

As my Mom hung up the phone, she turned to me and said, “We have to go help Grandmom; she went in the tub to take a bath and can’t get out.  Grandpop needs our help.”

With that, we quickly rode the elevator down the four floors to the lobby.  We walked into the bright sunshine, across the parking lot and to the car.  I remember feeling anxious, wondering what was wrong with my Grandmother and why she couldn’t get out of the tub.  Thinking ahead, as I always do, to all the things that must be wrong in order to receive such an urgent request from my Grandfather, a man who never asked anyone for anything.

We arrived at my Grandparents’ apartment and didn’t take time to talk to any of the older people in the lobby as we pushed the button for the elevator.  The people in the lobby were always ready for conversation as most were lonely and congregated there for human contact.  I felt badly not interacting with them as we usually did, but this was obviously an emergency and we were in a rush.

My Grandfather opened the door before we even reached it.  He had been keeping his eye on the parking lot and knew we had arrived.  He calmly and softly let my Grandmother know, through the closed door, that we were there and that we would be coming into the bathroom to help her.  The door was closed, but luckily not locked.

My Mom and I went into the bathroom, leaving my daughter to play in the living room with my Grandfather.  She always loved visiting with him, as he was absolutely one of the kindest, gentlest, sweetest men to ever live, talk about your gentle giant, that was him!

As we walked into the bathroom, my Grandmother’s first words were, “Shut the door!”  I found that odd under the circumstances since the only people in the apartment, aside from my grandmother, were my Mom, my daughter, my Grandfather and myself.  Without thinking, I complied and shut the door.  I grabbed the bath towel that was on the counter and my Mom leaned over and actually quite easily helped my Grandmother out of the tub as I held up the towel to her.  Thankfully she was fine.

She instructed us to leave the bathroom and close the door.  We did.  We walked into my Grandparents bedroom in order to stay close in case she needed anything.  My grandmother was in no apparent rush as she dried off, put on her robe, combed her hair and eventually walked into the bedroom.    It wasn’t until I saw her walk into the bedroom that it hit me, there was nothing wrong, why couldn’t my Grandfather have helped her out of the tub?

Before I could censor myself, the question blurted out, “Grandmom, why didn’t you just let Grandpop help you out of the tub?”

A look of incredible shock was my Grandmother’s immediate reaction.  “Grandpop? Grandpop couldn’t help me out of the bathtub…he’s never seen me naked!!”

That’s when the look of incredible shock previously on my Grandmother’s face spread across my own.  “He’s never seen you naked?”  

“Grandmom”, I said, “you’re married for 64 years...you have two children!”

Her reply rings so clearly, so absolutely directly, in my mind…”It was dark.” She stated.

Wow, it was dark, that was her answer?!  So, after sharing a lifetime together, going through the depression, raising two daughters, enjoying grandchildren and great-grandchildren, comforting each other through loss and celebrating together during happy times, he never saw her without her clothes!

A generational difference I suppose.  Raised in a time when women didn’t work outside the home, didn’t drive, didn’t vote, they couldn’t bare their souls let alone their bodies even in the most intimate of relationships.  Amazing.

My grandmother was astounded that I found this incredible.  It was only years later that I realized my Grandfather had also, so naturally, gone along with this reality.  He never even thought, not for a second, that he could go in the bathroom and help her….

After all, he could have turned off the bathroom light…