I Wish You Well-Being This New Year!

“Well-being is a balanced state of mind and body that you feel subjectively as contentment, peace of mind and emotional freedom.” – Deepak Chopra

As I write this, it is the early morning of New Year’s Eve.   New Year’s has always been a bit of a daunting time for me.  I never enjoyed New Year’s Eve as there was always not only a feeling of pressure to have a GREAT time, but also a feeling that the year gone by did not hold the accomplishments I had hoped for.  A fine time just doesn’t cut it on New Year’s.  Everyone has to be ringing in the New Year with amazing food, great friends, and a huge party!  You turn on the television and all they talk about is the biggest party of all in Times Square!  Everyone is dressed up, everyone is singing, kissing, dancing, partying ~ oy the pressure!!

This year has been a year of change and growing pains.  Yes, even those of us in our 50’s have growing pains.  My daughter has moved in with her boyfriend and my son, who moved away for school last year, has passed his candidacy exam and is now a PhD candidate, big changes and huge accomplishments for them, which make me proud and happy.  But these changes also point to the fact that my years of being Mom as opposed to Mommy are here.  This is a good thing, it is how it is supposed to be, but that doesn’t mean it is easy or comes without adjustment.

My house is way too big now.  Everywhere I look there is a room to be cleaned that no one needs.  I know this is probably what some would call a frivolous complaint, but it serves as a constant reminder of where I was, not where I am going. Of course there are times when I feel wistful about days gone by when the house was full of noise and toys and action; but time moves on.  And now it’s time that I do, too.

All this brings me to the title of this little blog, the importance of well-being.  I’ve read about well being this morning thanks to the quote above from Deepak Chopra, a quote I just happened to come across.  Well-being doesn’t mean that all things are going just great and that there is no turmoil, angst or aggravation in your life.  No, well being means that despite the turmoil and aggravation a sense of calm and feeling centered helps anchor your inner peace and allows you to function with clarity.  Our brains do more than allow us to interact with the world around us, our brains, in a sense, CREATE the world around us.  Our own interpretations of what we see and our reactions to what we feel are unique.  My goal, in this coming year, is a big one.  It’s probably the biggest goal I have ever set for myself.  My goal for this year is to have my brain create a positive world.

Throughout my life I have always looked ahead and tried to visualize what was going to go wrong so I could take steps now to prevent whatever it was I was imagining.  If I were imagining being attacked or getting lost by going someplace different, I just wouldn’t go.  If I was threatened by trying something new, thinking it would make me sick, or fail, I would make every excuse to weasel out of it, to not try that “new” thing, thereby guaranteeing the failure I was so afraid of seeing!  What good is that?? 

It’s going to be extremely difficult for me as I am definitely conditioned to only think about awful, horrific, terrible things that could happen.  I don’t know why my brain goes to these awful places and creates this world of monsters, but it does and it has to stop.  These worries take hold in my thoughts and instead of realizing that they are imaginary, they cause angst and worry, anxiety and fear – they cause a paralysis of being.  It’s been my way of existing but deep down I know it doesn’t work – it doesn’t even keep bad things from happening, instead, it keeps good things from happening!  The anxieties leak out to those around me, to those I hold most dear, to those I am trying to protect and to those I love more than anything else on this earth.  I don’t want them to hold the same anxiety and worry that I do.  Maybe that’s part of it, I feel that if I worry enough for all of us there is no need for them to worry.  I can shield them.  I try to take a burden off them, but it is a burden that they don’t necessarily carry – it is in my head, not theirs!  And when they then see and feel the load I am carrying, in a way, I am transferring that load to them - a load they never needed to hold! 

So, back to well being, the well being that Deepak Chopra referred to in the quote I read this morning.  Well-being is similar to the NOW that Eckert Tolle speaks about.  Right now is all we have.  Right now is all we ever live, our lives are made up of nows. Feeling at ease and at one with the reality of now, without thinking about the next minute or the next hour and the “what-ifs” that come with that time, that ease of the now is like a calming breath.  We can’t fight the now; it just wastes energy and emotion, we have to live in it.  The reality of this moment is all there ever is.  I believe it was George Harrison that said, “be here now”.

Right now it is the morning of New Year’s Eve.  The year 2012 will soon be history and the year 2013 will soon be welcomed.   But, at this moment, it is simply an early morning that I have time, time to relish and enjoy.  In reality, the hopes and plans, the thoughts and concerns for the year ahead are all just moving pictures in my head.  Since they are imaginary, why imagine a world of doom and disaster, why in the world would I want to create that? It may have taken me to the age of 54 to realize that every moment is important.  We all have our own hopes and dreams - the power of our thoughts, and that vibrant energy is vital and creative.  My promise to myself is to try to limit and catch myself when creating a world that is not positive and happy.  Since I want positive, happy things to exist for myself, for those I love, and for everyone – since compassion and thoughtfulness is what I want to exist, it is what I will strive to feel. I am going to try to live in the now instead of looking past it to the fears of tomorrow.

Here’s to a New Year’s Eve morning filled with good, hot coffee and a healthy dose of well being for all.

May your New Year be bright and your dreams thrive!

The Last Snickers

At one time, the bowl was full.  Just a few days ago the wrappers around the snickers were shiny and new and the delicious candy was just waiting to be enjoyed.   At that time, anticipation filled the air, turkey was cooking, recipes were being investigated, shopping was being done and the table was just set.

The holidays are a time when families get together with hopes for sharing a memorable time of love, acceptance, laughter, fun and food.  Some holidays, like some desserts, gel better than others – that’s just to be expected.  People change as years go by, but family dynamics stay pretty much the same.  People seem to automatically revert to their roles of decades gone by, it may not feel right, but it’s the role they’ve played to applause many times before and it seems like it should be simple to roll back into the previously molded places.  But now, the fit is just not the same, you toss and turn trying to fit, trying to be comfortable, but you’ve changed and the cushion has not and in reality, you need a new seat at the table since you already have a different physique - as does everyone else.

Life is lived day to day yet the annual or semi-annual get-togethers do not always capture the reality of where everyone is today.  There are disappointments on all sides, expectations that haven’t been met either by each other or by people totally outside the circle. But these experiences have had an impact.

Everyone has their problems, their disappointments, their heartaches, their successes, their worries and their joys.  You can’t exist in this world and not change as time moves along unless you keep yourself in some thick, unrealistic bubble.  People lose loved ones, they lose jobs, and they lose health and energy!  People are born, people get promoted, people watch their diets and they read and learn!  The gradual changes that occur over time alters where everyone stands in their personal world, but when they are jolted back in a world before these changes, the location doesn’t quite fit no matter how hard you try.

The love, that is still there, and I thankfully don’t think that could ever change.  The hopes for good things in the future, the consistency of the players, those things don’t change.  But, the knowledge of who each of us has become and how we all fit together, that does change.  It’s not necessarily better or worse, it could be either, but it can only be better if everyone accepts that old rolls are indeed stale.  The rolls have lost their desirability for everyone because they reflect the past, but not the reality of this time.  I truly believe the holiday get-togethers could be even better than before if only everyone could, or would be willing to, drop their preconceived notions of each other and get to know who their relatives have become during the time elapsed, what are they interested in now, where have they been AND where do they hope to go?  

The last Snickers is still in the bowl.  If I put it away until next year, it won’t be eatable anymore…. nothing stays the same.  People are the same in so many ways; they can’t be trotted out once a year and be expected to be as fresh and delicious as they were a year ago before just merely existing has changed their being.  But, as they go through each day, each week, each month, if they are tended to, if their changes and situations are acknowledged and most of all respected, the next time they are together, it could be the best time of all.

I will unwrap and savor the last Snickers in the bowl this year for all the nuts and the sweetness it contains, but, even more importantly, I hope to be open to the new and improved version being developed for the next get-together.  The new Snickers that may sit in the same bowl next year, but have slightly altered ingredients and a new chocolatey deliciousness.

Winds of Change

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Hurricane Sandy blew through our area last week.  Some parts of my neighborhood are still out of power.  We lost power for 48 hours and it seemed like an eternity.  I can’t imagine still being in the dark on these cold days and nights.  But, even with the power outages, we were lucky.  Our house is still standing.  The strong winds didn’t blow any trees onto our roof, through the windows, or into the yard.  We were spared the severe devastation and heaven forbid, the loss of life, which occurred within an hour and half from our home.

Now, more winds are blowing, but these winds are those of the election.  Tomorrow, across this great country, people will go to the polls and cast their ballot for the candidates of their choice.  My candidate is President Barack Obama!

President Obama took office in January of 2009 with our country teetering on the verge of a major economic depression.  We were fighting two long wars that were aiding to the bankrupting of our nation.  Our reputation around the world was in the dirt due to the Cowboy diplomacy of the Bush administration. 

As I watched him take his oath of office on that early winter day, I was filled with hope and pride.  The awful state our country was in was surely no match for the brilliant, compassionate man that held his hand on the bible.  My confidence was well founded.

Through the last four years, actually still closer to 3 ¾ at this point, I have watched with pride as our President cautiously and mindfully navigated the rocky road that lay before us.  His stimulus bill was an immediate help. He wanted it to be larger, but republicans started thwarting all his efforts from day one.  Instead of their goal being to help our country get back on solid ground, their main thought was for their political survival.  Their main thought was to work against our President, to keep the country in the toilet, so they could regain power.  How sick is that?  Why did the media not call attention to their strategy, a strategy that borders on treason?

Had the stimulus been larger, as most economists had suggested, the turnaround would have been swifter and more dramatic, however, the stimulus that was passed was large enough that it stemmed our hemorrhaging of jobs, (we were losing 800,000 per month when President Obama took office).  Our President offered a tax cut that gave each person some extra pocket money.  It is well known that giving money to the middle-class is more stimulating than giving it to the uber wealthy as the middle-class needs to spend it.  They pay bills, they buy groceries, and they go out to dinner.  These small purchases add up to a large help to the economy at large.  The more you and I go out to dinner, the more the restaurants are busy, they hire more waitresses and waiters and they in turn then have money to buy candles or whatever…which makes the other retail stores need to hire more people and so the economy grows.

But giving more money to the already super wealthy?  They can already buy whatever they want so they just sock it away or hide it overseas (like Romney).  They do NOT stimulate the economy with it and therefore the label the republicans have given them, as “job creators” is a lie.  The uber wealthy will only hire as a last resort as they want to aid their bottom line, not lessen it.  So they will only hire when there is dire necessity.  They feel no obligation to support the economy; their only obligation is to their stockholders.

After the stimulus was in effect, and things stabilized a bit, the President had also been working on health insurance reform, financial regulations, ending the wars, and restoring our country to a respectable standing around the world.  All these things he accomplished despite a record amount of filibusters and being called every name in the book by a disrespectful, arrogant minority party. 

The Affordable Care Act, known as ObamaCare, is a wonderful piece of legislation that, although demonized by the right wing and fox, is a policy that respects individual responsibility.  You have to be covered for none of us knows what the day has in store.  The healthiest among us could be hit by a bus and end up on life support by the end of the day.  Risking not having health care in those instances has caused our fellow citizens to pay for treatment as no one can be denied care in the Emergency Room.  The ACA makes it so everyone is covered.  There are no exemptions for pre-existing conditions, there are no lifetime limits, insurance companies have to use 80% of their dollars on CARE not bonuses to the CEO’s, and those young people 26 and under may remain on their parents health coverage.  All of these together make life and healthcare more affordable to those of us in the middle class.  It will enable horrific diseases to be discovered early and treated before they are out of control, more costly, and deadly.  But, the republicans ran around screaming “Death Panels” and Government run healthcare…of which ACA is neither.  But, facts never stopped a republican from screaming their crap.  Aided by the republican propaganda machine known as Fox News, their idiotic lies become part of the dialogue.  The other news channels don’t dispute, they just put on one person from one side and one from the other and let them duke it out.  The outcome of that is no one knows there is a truth…but ratings are high and that’s apparently all the mainstream media is concerned about.

The auto industry was about to go down, GM was in big trouble.  Chrysler was in dire straights.  Mitt Romney said, “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt”.  His thinking was that he was not thinking.  Luckily, our President never speaks before his ideas are well thought out.  President Obama knew there would be no private funds available at that point in time with the willingness or ability to back the auto industry. (Heck, even Bain turned it down!)  So, our wonderful President bailed them out and it has paid back a million times over.  Hundreds of thousands of jobs were saved.  Today, the auto industry is back, roaring strong!  All the associated industries are doing extremely well and the loans are almost all repaid. 

The Iraq war was ended.  The war in Afghanistan is winding down.  This isn’t good to the right wing that never met a war they didn’t like.  So, what do they want to do?  They want to go to war with Iran!  The lunacy of this is beyond anything anyone could adequately discuss, but they don’t care.  They rattle their sabers and chant about freedom and liberty…meanwhile, they don’t send their families to fight.  Of course not.  They send the young men and women who join the military trusting that battle will be a last resort; men and women who want and need the training of the military due to the high cost of college.  Who will fight for their safety?  Is there a lobbyist for them?  Yes there is, thankfully, our President, President Obama IS looking out for the military with care and diligence.  His supporting of the troops goes beyond a bumper sticker.  He uses them carefully and only when absolutely necessary.  Like when he planned and succeeded in killing our number one enemy, a man who killed 3,000 innocent Americans on September 11, 2001, a man who bush swore to get “dead or alive” before he decided it wasn’t really that important after all.  President Obama ordered the operation that captured and killed Osama Bin Laden.  We had closure.  The man responsible was no more. 

When it comes to equal pay for women, President Obama passed that as his first legislative priority.  Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, repealed.  Our President is for equal rights for all and marriage equality.  He is a caring, intelligent, wonderful man and he has earned and deserves a second term. 

I could go on for so many topics, each one shows the clarity of thought and understanding of the problems we each confront every day, each one our President has excelled at moving in the right direction, but I must spend a little time on our President’s adversary in this race, Willard Mitt Romney.

Governor Romney started life off as the son of a Governor, a wealthy automobile executive.  He never knew about needing anything, he never knew what it was like to start without advantage and he was apparently never taught compassion.  As a vulture capitalist his goal was not to create jobs, it was to maximize profit.  He did that well apparently, but at great cost to the lives of millions of hard-working, middle-class Americans.  He would swoop in, load a company with debt, end pensions, end environmentally sound policies that may cost a few cents more, and cut payroll (he readily admitted he liked to fire people).   His company (corporations are people, too, my friend – he said) his company grew while the misery index of those he laid off sky-rocketed.  Then, once they were unemployed, he went on to call them moochers, meanwhile he doesn’t pay taxes and shelters his money overseas so as to be sure to NOT HELP the country that gave him everything on a silver platter.

During the Vietnam War, he was very outspoken about those who protested the war…those who had to fight it.  He was proud in his standing up FOR the war, while he was in Paris spreading the word of Mormonism…naturally his pretty rear-end didn’t have to be in a fox hole waiting for shots to be fired at him, or breathing in Agent Orange…. no, he was privileged.  He was eating in outdoor cafes and writing love notes in the sand.

When running for Governor of Massachusetts, Mr. Romney swore he would fight for a woman’s right to choose. (Now he is adamantly pro-life).  He was for health insurance reform, Romneycare, before he was against Obamacare…(the same plan).  He is for more tax cuts for the uber wealthy, which will further add to the deficit that he claims to care about.  He wants to end Planned Parenthood, heaven forbid poor women get the healthcare they need.  He wants to end FEMA, to privatize it.  Well, at least he did before the winds of Hurricane Sandy blew in last week and millions on the East Coast NEEDED FEMA.  Thankfully, FEMA worked flawlessly under the Obama administration and Romney was left with egg on his face.

Romney’s lies about the auto bailout, about his tax plan, and his lack of diplomatic skills as were exemplified when he insulted the British during the Olympics and the Italians last week, are frightening.

Romney wants to be President. He thinks he is entitled because he has been entitled his whole life.  From holding down a young gay man in college to bully him, to putting his sick dog on the roof of his car, Romney shows he has no empathy for his fellow human beings or any creatures for that matter.  Romney’s lies and the things he says behind closed doors are not only problematic for him; they are ugly and not worthy of the office of President.

Tomorrow, my vote will go to President Barack Obama.  He has turned our country around in a miraculous way despite the great animosity consistently aimed at him.  (What other President was called a Liar in the middle of a State of the Union address – none –not even Bush who WAS lying!!)  He has been called a terrorist, a Marxist, a Socialist, a Fascist, un-American etc…when what he is is a brilliant man who worked his way up from humble beginnings to become the most powerful man in the world.  He has a loving family, a strong faith, and an even stronger love for his country and his fellow man.

I admire my President for millions of reasons and can’t understand how anyone could even consider voting for a return to the policies that sunk us under the Bush administration.  How can anyone vote for a liar like Romney…a man who won’t even disclose his tax returns let alone let us know what loopholes he plans to cut or anything about his economic policy.  A man who wants to voucherize Medicare and end social security as we know it…why….because he will NEVER NEED EITHER!!

The choice tomorrow is clear.  On one side we have a proven, steadfast man who adheres to thoughtful in-depth understanding and the other who teeters from one thought to another with no understanding, a man who can’t see beyond the afternoon headlines.

We can vote for an honest man, President Obama, or a liar, Myth Romney.

My vote is for my wonderful President and four more years of a growing, prosperous economy with equity and opportunity for all.

Obama/Biden all the way!!

Since When?

I am having a problem trying to make sense of the outcome that so many have reached after the first Presidential Debate between President Obama and Governor Romney.  Now, let me preface this blog with the acknowledgement that I am an avid supporter of the President.  I believe he was not only handed a mess of astronomical proportions when he took office, which is proven by the facts; he also was greeted with, not a honeymoon period like other Presidents, but rather a public statement by the leader of the republican party in the Senate that his and his party’s goal was to be sure President Obama was a one term President.  Their goal was not to help the economy improve, not to work for the people who had just chosen their President, but rather to ensure that nothing that President tried to do succeeded, that was all he cared about – not you, not me, not our country…. only his party.

Now, instead of that statement going through the media as bordering on treasonous, the media just let it stand as typical politics.  It is not, nor has it ever been, typical politics…especially in such dire circumstances, with our country on the brink of a depression!  However, the media, being the exact opposite of a liberal media as the republicans claim, never berated the republicans for their treasonous goal.

But, I digress.  Back to the debate that was held last Wednesday night, a debate in which it is pretty much the stated narrative that Romney won and President Obama lost…a narrative that has resulted in a bump in Romney’s poll numbers…. a bounce which the media loves because it now has a close race again.  Obviously, a close race is good for the amount of interest the race receives and thus their ratings.  No matter that it is based on what is, in my opinion, an extremely damaging narrative for our country.

Fact checkers have exposed that Romney out-right lied on numerous occasions.  He stated that he worked across the aisle to “get things done” when governor of Massachusetts.  In reality, a legislator at the time stated that they were more often frustrated with Romney as he wanted to govern like a CEO and not have to listen to or take notice of the legislature and its input and power.  

Romney went on to state that 20 million people would lose healthcare because of the President’s Affordable Care Act, Obamacare.   The facts, as facts DO EXIST, explained that Romney got to that number by choosing only the results he WANTED to choose. (Kind of like cherry-picking intelligence that Bush used to lead us into a war in Iraq.) Many people will, in fact, choose to leave their employer’s coverage because there will be better options available to them!  Romney also chose to not pay attention to the fact that there are people right now, today, that lose their coverage before the ACA is implemented, thus failing to mention the fact that Obamacare makes those losses lower! 

Just a few more examples and I will get to my point, but I feel the need to explain the lies because if I just say they are lies without detail, then this post is meaningless.

Romney stated that Pre-Existing conditions are covered under his plan…now; this is so not true that even his own staff felt the need to clarify.  Yes, pre-existing conditions are covered…as long as you have held health care coverage continuously!!  If you lost your job and your healthcare and you couldn’t afford to keep coverage going…and were then diagnosed with heart disease or diabetes or anything…. the Romney plan in NO WAY guarantees that you will be able to be covered for those conditions.  In that case, Romney’s plan is to go to the Emergency Room while being uncovered.  This is not only the most expensive way for us, the tax-payers, but it is also the way for least beneficial health outcomes for the person who is ill!

And, simply for the purposes of the length of this blog, I will only go one more lie (there are many more I could delve into) Romney stated that President Obama is taking $716 billion out of Medicare to pay for Obamacare.  Even Romney understands, although he won’t admit it, this comment is purposefully contorted.  President Obama did, through the ACA, reduce the growth of Medicare over ten years, which will, in actuality, benefit Medicare recipients by extending the life of Medicare!  This money comes from payments to hospitals not through benefits to Medicare recipients.  Also, the Romney/Ryan plan, which Romney “forgot to mention” takes that same $716 billion from Medicare, but instead of using it to bolster Medicare they use it to afford more tax cuts for the uber wealthy thus weakening Medicare not strengthening it.  The Romney/Ryan plan calls for turning Medicare into a voucher system for anyone who does not receive Medicare as of today.  Anyone out there, under 55 years old, this is to you…if you have a heart condition, cancer, diabetes, and you think a private insurance company is going to cover you into your old age under the cost of the voucher, then you are in for a very rude awakening.

Okay, so now I am going to wrap up my examples, even though, like I said, I could go on and on.  But, we all know that politicians twist the truth sometimes, isn’t that what we are told?  But, should we accept it and even worse, should we applaud it??

President Bush told us lies about weapons of mass destruction, costing us billions of dollars (which he never put on the books, thus adding billions to the deficit once the costs were put in the books) and costing our military men and women along with thousands of innocent Iraqi’s their limbs and their lives.  Do we really want to give accolades to another liar in chief?  

I find it appalling that our media has lavished so much praise on Romney’s debate performance.  Why do they feel it is okay to lie, as long as you lie with style?  Is that like Gangnum Style?  Was Romney more energetic and powerful, absolutely…but shouldn't substance matter more? 

I can imagine a scenario where the roles were reversed on Wednesday night, a scenario where President Obama was arrogant and rude to his opponent and the moderator and spewed lie after lie…how do you think the media would have spun that?  I bet they would have called him an angry (black) man, as exhibiting behavior that was un-presidential and not worthy of the office.  They would have said he was rude, a bully, and obnoxious!  They would have noted the red eyes and wondered if he was over-tired or over red-bulled!!  I believe that no matter how the President reacted to the flip-flopping, blatant lies of Romney, the President was in a no win situation. 

Reaction and opinion of the results depends so much on how the media spins things these days.  But, what is even more disheartening is that the media spin continues in the same direction even after the lies are exposed!  It is truly astounding that the lies don’t seem to matter!  Even Newt Gingrich, after his debates with Romney complained that it was impossible to defeat a liar at a debate because the liar can say anything to get by and no one cares!

I heard what I thought was a spot on analogy about debating a liar by listening to the Alec Bennett show this morning.  Alec stated the following, (and I am paraphrasing):  ‘imagine if I stated on this show that President Bush was drunk during his entire Presidency.  Imagine me stating that I know this to be true because a member of the Secret Service told me so in confidence.  Now, we all know this is not true, but how would you combat this nonsense in the midst of a debate?  You can’t because it has no place in reality so you cannot use any reality to fight it!’ 

I find it funny that now that the polls are shifting to a closer race, republicans, all of sudden, believe the polls, rather selective.  You don't see Progressives walking around saying the polls are not true.  Facts do matter, even if you don't agree.  You see, now, those same opponents of the President who didn't believe the prior polls, they do not believe the unemployment numbers recently released because they show, conclusively, that we are on the RIGHT track with President Obama and that the economy is steadily improving.  Those who do not support the President seem to live in a dream world of their own creation, (the right-wing bubble as Bill Maher calls it) perpetuated by Fox ‘news’ and Rush Limbaugh.  But my fear is that their land of make-believe will quickly crash all of the real progress made over the last four years.  If their world of applauding lies and working to eliminate any progress by the opposing party’s leader, at the expense of all of us, is allowed to go unanswered, then the United States of America is no longer a country of reality, but rather a country of beliefs and myths masquerading as facts and truths. 

Facts matter.  Truth matters.  Reality exists whether we admit it or not.  You can deny cancer all you want, but if you don’t treat it, it will still kill you. 

The frustration by those of us who support the President is two-fold.  We are sorry he didn’t come out punching harder, fighting back against Romney's talking points harder, yet we know that had he done so, the media would then simply have a different narrative to attack him over if they so choose.  President Obama needs to be flawless, yet he is human so flawlessness is impossible.  It is a very difficult box they have placed him in.

As Americans, we need to expect more than lies from someone who wants to take the reigns of this country from President Obama, the man who kept us OUT of a Depression, FOUND and ordered the KILL of Bin Laden, SAVED the auto Industry, and DOUBLED the stock market. 

President Obama has proven, beyond a reasonable doubt, that we are better off now than we were four years ago, and he has EARNED our votes to continue the positive trend, in spite of the lies told with such finesse by the opposition.

http://voice4america.com/paulbrown/2012/10/08/romney-56-seconds.html

http://front.moveon.org/what-republicans-really-think-of-mitt-romney-in-one-clip/#.UHCGpeSsW2E.facebook

Getting Older

Aging is a weird thing.  When you’re very young, every birthday is so exciting, so exciting that you even count in fractions as you approach a new, larger number!  As I’ve grown older I think back to those very young days and even the “medium” young days and hope I appreciated them for what they were truly worth.  Promise, hope, potential, vitality, optimism; all of these things are so prominent, so to the front of everything when youth is yours.

I guess I’m having a mid-life crisis, although, who am I kidding, mid-life passed me by about 10 years ago.  After all, I don’t believe reaching the ripe old age of 108 is very realistic.  But, it is hitting me that there are things now that I always wanted to do, always thought there would be time for, that I will never accomplish.

For example, I always wanted to be either a therapist or a lawyer.  Now, I know these two things sound like they are polar opposites, and maybe they are, but they always held a special appeal to me.  I truly do love people.  I love being around people, I love talking with people, learning different ideas, and I would love to have the ability and time to listen to others and try to help them sort things out so they may lead more fulfilling, happy lives. I know lawyers get a bad rap, but I think to a large extent, many of them feel that same inner goal.  They help those without a voice gain a voice.  They help those without power fight back when they were wronged.  So, maybe, they really aren’t all that different at their core.  But, the reality truly struck me the other day that I am out of time; I will never be either of those professions.

I don’t know if my experience of youth is that different from anyone else’s experience, but I know that when I was young, I guess because up until you're older the only thing you’ve known is youth, I thought I would always be young.  I thought there would always be time.  Then, suddenly, there I am in the check out line at the grocery store and the young man asks, “Will that be paper or plastic, Ma’am?”  This young man, being so very polite, sees me as an older lady, no ands, ifs or buts, an older lady.  I say paper but in my head I’m screaming, wait…I’m not a ma’am, I’m a miss!!  But, I don’t scream it or even whisper it because I’m not.

My husband and I are starting to think about downsizing the house.  I probably mentioned it before in another blog, but it is becoming more focused and real now.  We even began the process, albeit in a very tiny step, this weekend by cleaning out a buffet in the dining room.  We made piles of things to sell, things to keep and things to throw away.  That last pile is very difficult for me.  I become attached to things, to the memories they hold; a chipped sugar bowl that I will never use again, but that conjures up thoughts of dinners when my Lauren and Michael were so very young and we were all together every day.  I do know that throwing away the sugar bowl isn’t throwing away the memories, but it is a trigger to those memories that I don’t want to lose.  So, I have a deal with my husband…I hand him certain items without saying a word and he quietly disposes of them.

We started in the dining room because it is the easiest room of all.  I dread going through the basement.  Our basement is full of all the things that I didn’t have the heart to get rid of, although I no longer needed them, as the years moved along.  We moved into this house a bit over 18 years ago, so for all that time things have accumulated down there.  My daughter and son’s old toys, cribs, bedroom furniture, art work, beanie babies, games, clothes, the list goes on and on.  I suppose I could go through things one box at a time, but I know that this will be the most difficult of all.  Every other move we made we went from a smaller home to a larger one, I didn’t need to scale down.  The goal of this move is to do exactly that, scale down.  How do I do it?

In 2000, we had an in ground pool built in our backyard.  In the beginning it was just great fun for the family, but as time moved along and my children grew older, I began to think of it as a great place for them to bring their kids, the grandchildren I look forward to knowing.  A place where we would all enjoy beautiful summer days together.  But, do I stay in the house forever for those few days a year?  Can my husband continue to take care of the pool as we get older, not to mention the expense!  And that doesn’t even take the lawn itself into consideration, its care and maintenance.  And cleaning this house, I can’t keep up!  I vacuum, sweep, mop, dust, and never seem to have the chance to do the heavy cleaning that is needed. 

The house, like me, is aging.  The systems that run need maintenance, the roof needs attention, the air-conditioner doesn’t seem to cool as well. Let’s face it - the house needs new, energetic, enthusiastic owners.  Besides the fact that with our children not here most of the time, my husband and I only use the kitchen, the bedroom the bathroom and the living room…all other spaces all places I simply walk through.  My Mom’s ‘edifice’ as we call it, consists of her living room, bedroom and bathroom.  We do sit in there, too, and enjoy her company – but the majority of the house is simply collecting dust.

So, aging is a weird thing.  It creeps up so slowly.  One minute you’re doing the back to school thing, filling out forms, waiting at bus stops, the next you’re buying vitamins at the grocery store and being called “Ma’am”!  It happens in a heartbeat.  I can only imagine how fast, if I’m lucky enough to still be here, the next 30 years will go.  Each coming decade, each number that arrives now, is not as much exciting as it is something to be grateful for reaching.  With each “big” birthday there is no denying that I am no longer young.  When I was in my forties, I could deny it, no more.

But, as someone once said, today I am younger than I will ever be going forward!  So, I will be thankful for each minute, try to live in this minute, since no one is guaranteed the next.  I will never be a therapist or a lawyer, but I am who I am.  I am a person who loves to write, so I write.  I am a person who loves people, so I surround myself with them as much as possible.  I am a person who supports candidates who respect ALL people and who have, as their goal, the fairness of a society that works well for everyone.  After all, we all only have one life to live.  (Obama/Biden 2012!) But, most importantly, I am a person who loves her children and the family that my husband and I have made.  THAT is the most important thing in my life and I must say, that is something I believe I have done extremely well.

My Cousin and I

Did you ever have someone in your life that you could say anything to, and it would be understood and okay? I am lucky beyond belief in that I have always had such a person – from the moment I was born, my cousin, Ellen. 

I spoke with Ellen, this morning. I can honestly say I never remember a time when she wasn’t in my life as a confidante, a friend, a ‘sister’, a helper and an on-the-spot therapist.  Her strength, honesty, selflessness, and love are apparent in everything she does and to everyone she encounters.

When we were young, very young, our Grandparents would babysit for us when our Moms went out shopping.  (Our Moms are sisters, and also best friends)  We made doll houses out of paper and cotton balls, we danced in circles to Mickey Katz records – check it out…..here or here or here.  We laughed from morning to night.

If you listen to the link above, you’ll be able to imagine how hard we laughed as we danced around our Grandparents living room.  The laughter and joy we shared, as young girls, only grew deeper and more meaningful as we grew older.  I could go on for hundreds of pages describing all the times we shared, good, bad, worried, joyful…. every life experience.  Through it all, if I needed her, she was there in a heartbeat. 

We live too far apart to see each other as often as either of us would like, and our schedules don’t permit us to talk all the time like we did when we were young; but, when we do talk it is straight from the heart.  To each other, there is no need to couch anything, hide anything, or exclude anything.  She knows every flaw I have and loves me anyway…how lucky is that?

If every person in the world could have someone like my cousin in her life, there would be more laughter and joy in this world and less hate and distrust.  When I’m down or worried I know all I have to do is call her.  Just talking with her allows me to breath again because she tells me when I’m off the wall (which is frequent) and she tells me when I’m not. 

I don’t think I tell her often enough how much she means to me but she has made my life richer each and every day.  I just finished a wonderful book that made me think about the different relationships in my life.  I am truly grateful for the many, many people that I love and care about ~ my family, my friends, every one holds a special place in my heart.  In time, I will write about each of them. However, the sister of my soul is my cousin.

If the world were full of Ellens, it would certainly be a more beautiful place.  

Appreciate those in your life that have stuck by you through thick and thin.  If you are fortunate to have such a person or even luckier, persons like this, I hope you know how lucky you are.  I know I do.

Smoothing The Wrinkles of Yesterday

I just finished making the bed.  As I was removing the old sheets and smoothing the freshly washed ones across the mattress I thought of the importance of freshening life up by airing it out and making a clean change, taking a fresh look.

So many effects come together to hold us in the same place from day to day keeping us from airing ourselves out, opening up our hearts.  When closed to new possibilities, our hearts, thoughts, and goals get as musty and wrinkled as an unmade bed.  We sleep, toss, turn and dribble in the same beliefs from day to day, year to year.  Without shaking things up and letting the breeze blow through, we wallow in the sameness; even our dreams become stale.  If we don’t take a look at the frayed trim we can’t fix it.  At this point in my life, I am attempting to strengthen my frayed edges and not let my dreams become stale.

The expression, “you’ve made your bed, now lie in it”, is really very true.  We all have to accept the consequences of our choices, actions, decisions, and thoughts.  One particular turn years ago may have had unforeseen consequences.  Sometimes, merely cleaning up cannot erase some actions – the results may be irreversible.  But, even in those circumstances, we can air what has been done and resolve to not do the same thing again.  We can speak to people we may have hurt, hug people we love, and comfort people in pain.  We can listen with more than our ears and feel with more than our fingertips.

Due to circumstances beyond my control in 2009 (an owner of a company putting corporate profits into drugs and draining the company dry) I was left unemployed at a time when the economy was not the best.  That particular action put me to bed with the necessity of forging a fresh start.  Although I was earning a very nice living at my prior position, I never enjoyed the work, only the people I worked with.  I rarely felt as though I was contributing anything positive to the world through my work there.  (I did feel positive at my prior company where I thoroughly enjoyed the work AND the people, what a blessing that was.)  The fact that I did it every workday shows that I had my price, something I am not particularly proud of.

However, being forced away from all that handed me a golden opportunity.  I was involuntarily pushed to air myself out and take a fresh look at my surroundings.  It could be stated that I was thrown out of bed.  After landing on the floor, I pulled off the old sheets and took a long look at the decades old mattress.  Like life, it wasn’t a bed of roses that stared back at me.  After a long look I could see beyond the tattered covering and feel a healthy strength of support, something we all desperately need at one time or another.  People who believe they don’t need any support should try sleeping without a mattress once in awhile – truth hurts.

Life happens, but dreams happen, too, even when those dreams fall into ruts.  We need to harness our dreams and use them to create positive, productive changes before they grow stale.  Just as flipping a mattress erases the grooves that have become traps you fall into, sometimes life needs to be flipped to get you on a fresh path that will lead you to a new beautiful destination.

Many of us have a comfy bed – and we should enjoy it, but just think how much better that bed will feel after spending part of the day helping those who may have fallen onto a bed of nails.  Helping others, offering a smile to someone who is down or needs assistance, can cultivate your own pleasant dreams and beautiful future.  Smiling is contagious, and that is one contagion we should try to catch and pass along.  It may even keep us from “waking up on the wrong side of the bed”, which is never a happy experience for yourself or anyone you come in contact with during the day.

When I make my bed in the morning now, I will be thinking about what qualities I want to tuck in safely and which ones I want to wash away.  There are only so many nights we all get to sleep on this side.  If I can keep the finite nature of life in mind, like the life of a good mattress, I will keep my dreams vibrant, my backbone strong, and my life fresh and new.   

Lovely pillows and soft sheets are wonderful and help make a bed beautiful, just as lovely thoughts and kind words can make your world beautiful.  Using them all well and often will hopefully keep us all safely, happily tucked in and enable us to share a world full of ever changing possibility.