The Last Snickers

At one time, the bowl was full.  Just a few days ago the wrappers around the snickers were shiny and new and the delicious candy was just waiting to be enjoyed.   At that time, anticipation filled the air, turkey was cooking, recipes were being investigated, shopping was being done and the table was just set.

The holidays are a time when families get together with hopes for sharing a memorable time of love, acceptance, laughter, fun and food.  Some holidays, like some desserts, gel better than others – that’s just to be expected.  People change as years go by, but family dynamics stay pretty much the same.  People seem to automatically revert to their roles of decades gone by, it may not feel right, but it’s the role they’ve played to applause many times before and it seems like it should be simple to roll back into the previously molded places.  But now, the fit is just not the same, you toss and turn trying to fit, trying to be comfortable, but you’ve changed and the cushion has not and in reality, you need a new seat at the table since you already have a different physique - as does everyone else.

Life is lived day to day yet the annual or semi-annual get-togethers do not always capture the reality of where everyone is today.  There are disappointments on all sides, expectations that haven’t been met either by each other or by people totally outside the circle. But these experiences have had an impact.

Everyone has their problems, their disappointments, their heartaches, their successes, their worries and their joys.  You can’t exist in this world and not change as time moves along unless you keep yourself in some thick, unrealistic bubble.  People lose loved ones, they lose jobs, and they lose health and energy!  People are born, people get promoted, people watch their diets and they read and learn!  The gradual changes that occur over time alters where everyone stands in their personal world, but when they are jolted back in a world before these changes, the location doesn’t quite fit no matter how hard you try.

The love, that is still there, and I thankfully don’t think that could ever change.  The hopes for good things in the future, the consistency of the players, those things don’t change.  But, the knowledge of who each of us has become and how we all fit together, that does change.  It’s not necessarily better or worse, it could be either, but it can only be better if everyone accepts that old rolls are indeed stale.  The rolls have lost their desirability for everyone because they reflect the past, but not the reality of this time.  I truly believe the holiday get-togethers could be even better than before if only everyone could, or would be willing to, drop their preconceived notions of each other and get to know who their relatives have become during the time elapsed, what are they interested in now, where have they been AND where do they hope to go?  

The last Snickers is still in the bowl.  If I put it away until next year, it won’t be eatable anymore…. nothing stays the same.  People are the same in so many ways; they can’t be trotted out once a year and be expected to be as fresh and delicious as they were a year ago before just merely existing has changed their being.  But, as they go through each day, each week, each month, if they are tended to, if their changes and situations are acknowledged and most of all respected, the next time they are together, it could be the best time of all.

I will unwrap and savor the last Snickers in the bowl this year for all the nuts and the sweetness it contains, but, even more importantly, I hope to be open to the new and improved version being developed for the next get-together.  The new Snickers that may sit in the same bowl next year, but have slightly altered ingredients and a new chocolatey deliciousness.