Another Year Gone By…A New One on the Way!

2011 has been a pretty good year; I am thankful for so much.  My children, who are no longer children, are each adults who fill my heart with love and pride.  They are each cultivating their own interests and forging careers geared toward where their hearts and desires are leading them.   I wish them the fulfillment of their dreams. 

My daughter has always wanted to teach.   She adores children and has the patience of a saint.  She is now working as a substitute teacher and I hope she earns a full-time position, as she could give so much to her students.  I believe that once those in charge see how wonderful and dedicated she is to teaching, they will think of her when a position opens.  Her skills with the students are obvious.  Hopefully, funding to the public schools will not be hurt to the point where the children suffer and good teachers, like my daughter, are left out, unable to propel students toward their inner greatness.  Society needs strong thinkers more than ever.  Without education, there will be no such people to lead us into the future.

Since he was a very young boy, my son has always had a thirst for science.  Working toward finding a cure for cancer was his goal for as long as I can remember.  My son is named for his amazingly intelligent, brave cousin who lost his battle with cancer before my son was born.  Years later, after my other good-hearted, talented nephew was forced to fight this horrific disease, my son’s desire to work in this field only intensified.  Now, after years of hard work and dedication, he is working in a lab, studying to earn his PhD in Immunology and Infectious Diseases.  His devotion and respect for science has driven him to earn this coveted spot while his intelligence and heart will enable him to succeed.  I have never known anyone as determined, talented and driven to help mankind.  I watch with deep pride and admiration as he proceeds along his career path.

While my children are following their hearts in their professions, they are also in strong relationships with caring, wonderful people.  As a parent, there is nothing more important than the happiness, health and well being of my children.  I only hope that 2012 will enable them to further their walk on their pathways of choice.   As they proceed, my wish is for them to fulfill their dreams while hopefully staying close enough for a warm hug from their old momma every so often!

Although my prior career has come to an abrupt ending, one I would not have volunteered for or chosen, its demise has afforded me time to pursue my dream, writing.  Writing this blog is cathartic.  I sit down and just let my fingers go.  It’s as if they aren’t connected to my body.  Feelings and thoughts go directly from my heart, not my brain.  (Please, no snide remarks….)  There are moments when my fingers fly across the keyboard and I am not even aware of their movement or where the movement is heading.  With eyes closed, I just let them go.  The assurance I give is that whatever ends up on the post is honest and heartfelt. I sincerely hope that feeling comes across to you, the reader.

Although I love my writing, as of now it doesn’t pay the bills.  After being laid-off and finding it more difficult than I ever could have imagined to find a new position, I am working part-time in a retail store.  I love people and truly enjoy working retail, probably for the same reasons I cherished working in Human Resources.  Working with people, making their day easier and brighter is such an amazing feeling!  By the end of the day, when working in human resources, whether it was spent helping my fellow employees work out their benefits or allowing someone coming in for an interview to feel less nervous, I felt that the day had been spent in a meaningful, worthwhile manner.  I felt useful and enjoyed that feeling.  I do experience that same feeling now in the store when I enable a harried young mom to smile, or help someone find something special they were searching for.  The problem with retail is the salary.  As I’ve said before in prior blogs, I am extremely thankful my husband earns enough for us and my income has always been secondary.  However, it was very nice having that monetary boost for so many years.  The vacations, home improvements and just day-to-day expenditures that I now watch closely, were much freer before, and honestly, that was a lot more fun.

I am certainly not complaining, however.  I enjoy my time writing as I enjoy my time in the store.  As long as my family is well, I am happy and I am thankful.

Finally, in 2011, my friendships have grown deeper and so very meaningful.  I am honored to have the friends in my life that I do.  There are women I have known for decades, and my cousin who I have been close with my entire life.  These very special women know everything there is to know about me; my anxieties, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, and miraculously, they love me anyway!  I also have relatively new friends that have become of utmost importance to my husband and me.  We have travelled together and shared breakfasts, dinners, smiles, tears and laughter.  In a short time, they have become part of my family.  I don’t know how I would have survived the harder experiences of my life without these special people – you all know who you are.  I love you.

My husband and I celebrated our 32^nd wedding anniversary in 2011.  Whoever would have believed that 32 years have flown by?!   We have truly grown up together.  He is an amazing father, a gracious man who has devoted his life to not only our family, and me, but also to my parents who he welcomed into our home.  He helped my dad all through his illness and now comes to my mom’s aid whenever she needs help with her banking or other such details.  He is patient and giving and I thank him for putting up with me all these years.  I can’t imagine growing old with anyone else.

And finally, there are those who read this blog; the friends, relatives and the unbelievable amount of strangers who follow my ramblings.  I thank you and I appreciate your time and attention.  I truly hope my thoughts resonate within your heart and you find that no matter where on this earth you live, we all share the same humanity.

So, thank you 2011.  You have enabled my family and I to grow and deepen our quest to fulfill our hearts’ desires.  You have brought a multitude of emotions that have forced me to look deeply within and I feel I have learned so very much.  As always on New Year’s Eve, I will be sad that another year is over, but I will be hopeful that the year ahead will bring good health, happy times and satisfaction.

I wish everyone a happy and a healthy 2012.  Please keep reading…. I will try to make it worthy of your time.

Happy New Year!!

Thoughts on Christmas Day

Growing up, Christmas Day was a day for enjoying a huge family celebration.  Everyone would come to our house for the day’s festivities.  We would eat wonderful foods, prepared by either my Mom or my aunts.  My cousins and I would play games and the older family members; aunts, uncles, and grandparents, would sit and talk over coffee and cake.  The only reality that separated our family celebration on Christmas day from millions of others around the world was that instead of gathering around a tree and gifts for everyone, we would gather around a birthday cake with my Dad’s name on it and what gifts there were, would be for him. 

We are Jewish.  My Dad happened to be a Christmas baby.  Since Christmas is a quite major holiday although not one of our particular religious beliefs, we used the opportunity as a gift to enjoy a huge family celebration.   Everyone was off from work and quite honestly there was nothing else to do!  All stores and restaurants are closed on Christmas so there really was little competition for my Dad’s birthday celebration.  Chinese food and a movie were never an option for us, as we did have our unique reason to celebrate as a family, my Dad!

In my naiveté growing up, I thought everyone felt like an outsider on Christmas.  My family was fairly insulated in those days in that there were no members of the family who were not Jewish.   Our interaction with the holiday amounted to watching excellent Christmas movies that made us all cry, listening to Christmas carols while weaving through crowded stores looking for my Dad’s birthday present, and driving through ‘other’ neighborhoods to see the beautiful lights.  Our lights consisted of the burning candles on our Menorah, candles that burned themselves out in less than 10 minutes! Chanukah gifts, in those days, consisted of a shiny quarter and sometimes a dreidel filled with hard candy.  

I have vivid memories of my second grade Christmas show in elementary school; it wasn’t called a Holiday show in those days.  My class consisted of 24 children, all Jewish – the teacher, Mrs. Fisher was Jewish, yet we put on a Christmas show!  To this day I remember sitting cross-legged on the stage floor with my xylophone, playing and singing along to “Silver Bells” directed toward an audience wondering where they would get a really good corned beef special for dinner when the show was over! 

I honestly never truly thought about Christmas or realized it was such a major, deeply meaningful part of so many lives.  Gradually, as I grew older and became less insulated, the magical aspect of the holiday season became more apparent.  Our family expanded to a wonderful reality, a reality where different religions and backgrounds became a source of inspiration, pride and respect.   My son went with his girlfriend and her family to midnight mass last night.  Although his beliefs are different, he is able to appreciate the beauty and love that are behind these wonderful celebrations and they, in turn, welcomed his presence with joy.  My daughter will spend the day in Connecticut with her boyfriend’s mom, a warm, loving woman who has a heart as big as the world.  Widening our sphere of experience has made us all more compassionate and exceedingly more open to the beauty that is the reality of Christmas.   We now live as part of the experience, not separated from it.  I am truly appreciative of being included in the splendor of the season.

Today, my husband, my Mom and I will visit my brother’s house as we have done every year for the last four.  My sister-in-law is a wonderful woman, loving, fun, energetic.  As she is not Jewish, their home is beautifully decorated with Santa Clauses and a magnificent tree, tall, strong, and classic.  The fireplace will be burning bright and its warmth will welcome everyone.  We will open gifts together, some with green and red wrapping paper, some with blue and white paper, but all given with love and care.

My Dad’s birthday and Christmas are still one and the same.  My Dad is no longer with us, physically, but he is absolutely with us in our hearts.  I may not have celebrated the holiday of Christmas all those years growing up, but I do now realize that I was lucky to have the greatest Christmas present of all – on that special day, my Dad entered the world.  The love my Dad gave so freely every day, the support, laughter, generosity, caring – how lucky am I that he was my Dad?!  He was the greatest gift a girl could have, a protecting, loving father.

As we celebrate this special holiday, in 2011, I can appreciate the beauty and the love that come with the Christmas holiday and I realize that I celebrated those feelings all along. 

I love you Dad, Happy Birthday.

Merry Christmas to all ~ 

A Beautiful Season

It could truly be a beautiful season, a wonderful start to a new year. December is full of exclamations of peace on Earth, good will toward man, and miracles.  I suppose if the peace on Earth and good will toward man came true, it would be a miracle!

Chanukah, Kwanza and Christmas share many sentiments, pride in heritage, love of family/friends, and the joy found in community.  All religions, along with the simple golden-rule we learn in Kindergarten, share the belief that if you act thoughtfully, compassionately (do unto others) you will live peacefully and contentedly (as you would have them do unto you).  If only human beings would practice what we preach.

The lights that glow so brightly during this holiday season, whether as a single candle in a window, a blinking display outlining a home, the lighting of a seven-candle candelabrum, or the lights of a Menorah should all awaken us to the realization we are not only all the same but also we are all connected!  Each of us simply wants to live our lives, whether lasting one day or 100 years, in peace with healthy, happy loved ones.  Loved ones who have the ability to excel in whatever they sense as fulfilling their heart, their inner desire.  The traits we were taught on the playground, sharing, not hitting, listening to others, all of these qualities if exhibited by adults AFTER grade school, would certainly make this world a better place.

What if we shared the abundance that is opportunity, the chance for each and every one of us to thrive to our fullest potential? Why do some fight that simple idea?  Imagine, as John Lennon wrote, “all the people, living life in peace”.   Fairness, the belief that what is controllable in life, is fair, makes a world of difference.  Things happen in life that certainly are not fair; disease, accidents, disasters, I certainly could never even approach understanding why they happen. However, I can understand the frustration that arises when not being treated fairly in a controllable situation is someone’s reality.  Why should some people, simply because their families earned more money long before they were born, have access to the most amazing schools, healthcare, and education while simply due to the exact opposite circumstance, some do not have those opportunities.  Is that fair?  Is that controllable?  Of course it’s not fair and of course it is controllable.  Those who claim to be “pro-life”, where do you fall on this issue?  Should all children born be awarded the same “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”?

Last summer I was on a wonderful cruise with my family and friends.  At one point, we passed a luxury, executive suite.  It was then that I understood the meaning of we “are all in the same boat”.  They may have a better view, a larger place to stay, a bigger balcony, but if the ship sinks, they are going down right along with the rest of us.

We live in a world full of riches, full of brilliance, full of love and hope, and yet we squash it for so many and then act surprised and appalled when they react violently, angrily.  This is a season that could teach all of us so very much.  I see it every day in the retail store where I work.  There are so many good, truly good-hearted, well-intentioned, people.  They buy hundreds of dollars worth of toys for underprivileged children, yet, I wonder…if you asked these same people to raise their taxes $5 a month to provide education and food for these same children, would they fight it?  Would they call it Socialism?  Would they say that giving takes away the ambition and drive of these poor children?  Why is it okay to give them a game but not afford them the ability to survive and thrive in reality?  Why is one act of giving socialism and the other charity?  Is it the simple introduction of the government sharing this responsibility that makes it evil to some?  How else could this possibly be achieved?

If each person is afforded the opportunity to eat a balanced diet, obtain a well-rounded education and have a safe neighborhood, how can that possibly not help all of us?  We are only as strong as the weakest link.  One group feels oppressed and they blow up a building of innocents trying to better the lives of their families.  This unfair violence then results in those hurt retaliating, and the cycle continues.  It’s ridiculous and it has to stop.  In our hearts, we know better.  Instead of blowing each other up, why not build each other up?  It has to be cheaper and in truth, much more fun and rewarding.  It is also much more in keeping with the teachings of all the major religions and the golden rule.

This holiday season, no matter what or why you light your candles, I hope the glow of the flame warms all hearts and softens all attitudes. Giving the gift of opportunity and fairness will lead to peace on Earth and a happier existence for everyone.  Shouldn’t the quest for peace in our heart and world be what we strive for each and every moment of our brief existence? That realization in the hearts of all is the miracle I am hoping for this holiday.

Enjoy, be safe, be happy and remember; we are all in this thing together.

Happy Holidays!

Thinking about my Grandmother...

Memories of my Grandmother have been especially vivid these last few days.  This morning I woke with clear images and thoughts of her in my mind.  A few nights ago, my daughter had a dream where my Grandmother gave her a “thumbs-up” signal and then left. Perhaps her spirit is especially active at this moment for some reason. I don’t know why else thoughts of her would be so exceedingly vibrant at this time; it’s not her birthday, or any other ‘special’ day.  During any normal week I think of her often as there are numerous memories of her throughout my home; a needlepoint on my living room wall, an afghan on my den sofa, and a few of her dishes displayed from my wall-unit, but thoughts of her these last few days have been especially strong.

I wrote about my Grandmother a few months ago with my, “Never Accept a Rotten Tomato!” post.  In that post I described one of the many life lessens my Grandmother handed down, one that went way beyond the actual tomato.  In other posts, the value and importance of my Grandmother’s wisdom was an integral part of the stories my family tells during holiday meals.  But on a day-to-day basis, my Grandmother was so much more.

My Grandmother was an iron strong woman; yet she was always quick with a hug, a kiss, a laugh and a smile.  She was funny, yet it was always clear she would fight tooth and nail for her family.  She was a woman who raised two daughters, helped raise her niece when her sister’s husband unexpectedly passed away at a very young age and welcomed family to her home at any and all times.  She accomplished all of this during the years right after the Depression, when money was scarce and to get by you needed your wits and your intelligence.  She rarely went to synagogue, yet she wouldn’t sew on the Sabbath.  She called her Passover cake an Easter cake.  She always served bread with dinner.  She loved polka dots and could never pronounce turquoise, yet it was her favorite color.  She always had a "sour ball" or other hard candy in her purse.  My cousin and I would dance in circles to old Mickey Katz records, the Jewish record my Grandmother played often in her apartment.  We would laugh the day away when left by our Moms with my Grandmother for whatever reason.  We shared so many fun times in her small apartment on Rodney Street…so many fun times!

All through my life my Grandmother was a special resource.   She would be brutally honest if you asked for her opinion, and sometimes when you didn’t.  You would always get her thoughts straight out – no holds barred!  She gave me life lessons that emphasized the power of being a woman well before the feminist movement.  Although she never worked outside the home, she was always busy with her needlepoint, sewing, cooking, taking care of her Herman (my wonderful Grandfather) and directing everyone.  She would have made a wonderful boss.

One day, many years ago, while I was visiting my Mother in her apartment, my Grandfather called and told my Mom she was needed right away.  Apparently, my Grandmother was taking a bath and the heat of the water must have made her feel weak.  She couldn’t seem to lift herself out of the tub.  My Mom and I ran to the car and drove the 25 minutes to my Grandparents’ apartment.  In a matter of minutes, my Mom helped my Grandmother out of the tub.  After she was feeling stronger and better, we were sitting in the living room when it hit me, why didn’t my Grandfather just help her out of the tub?  When I asked the question, my Grandmother looked at me incredulously, I’ll never forget her expression of shock.  “He’s never seen me naked!”, she replied.  “Never?” I replied. “Never!”  I then remember saying, but you’ve been married over 60 years and you have two daughters!  She looked me straight in the eye and replied, “It was always dark”!  She went on to say since he never saw her naked when she was young, he certainly wasn’t going to get an eye full now!  Her good-natured honesty was palpable.  I just wanted to give her a big hug – I wish I could do so right now.

I remember another time watching television with my Grandmother in her apartment.  The show was about viewing the magnificent home of a particular movie star.  I remember my Grandmother saying to me what a waste the big home was.  After all, she said, “You can only be in one room, on one seat, at one time with one tuckas!”

After my Grandfather passed away, my Grandmother lived alone in her apartment until she passed away.  She was strong and vibrant, caring for others, even on that very last day of her life. I remember the day vividly.  My Mom had planned to go to her mother to help her, take her food shopping.  But, unfortunately, I came down with an awful stomach virus.  My children were very young at the time and I needed help getting them to and from school and just watching them in general.  My Mom told my Grandmother the situation and that she would go to her the next day.  My Grandmother was fine with that, which, when I look back, she could have been otherwise.

All through the day my Grandmother called to check-up on how I was feeling.  When my Mother left my house, my Grandmother called to speak to me so she could hear for herself how I was progressing.  I told her I was feeling better and thanked her for understanding that I needed my Mom to come to help me that day.  She told me, “Don’t be silly”, then she went on to tell me to be sure to drink ginger ale with crushed ice and maybe eat a few crackers.  She wanted me to take it easy and build my strength.  She let me know she was going to go downstairs in her apartment building later to play cards with her ‘lady friends’.  I knew that was special to her.  My Grandmother loved to play cards, 500 Rummy, Gin…. her specialties!  She taught my cousin and I all the card games we knew along with how to properly shuffle the deck.  I knew she was looking forward to her game that evening.  She told me she would call the next day to see how I was feeling and that if I needed my Mother again, not to worry.  With that, I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me.  Then, we hung up.  That was the last conversation I ever had with my Grandmother. 

On her way to play cards that evening, she collapsed and passed away.  As all through her life, she passed thinking of others while looking forward to something she loved to do.  Dealing with disappointment yet enjoying looking to the future right up until the very end.  You’re in my heart, Grandmom, thank you for your inspiration and love.  You’re strongly in my thoughts today and for whatever the reason, I am thankful.

Are Those MY Hands??

Brown, crunchy, dead leaves blew into the foyer this morning as I opened the door to walk my dog, Popcorn.  The leaves swirled as I watched them gracefully and arrogantly land throughout the entryway.  Popcorn needed to go out and wasn’t about to wait while I immediately swept them away, so off we went, postponing the inevitable clean up.

The brisk air was invigorating as it hit my cheeks.  My outlook was brightened and I felt content as Popcorn and I took our quick stroll.  After a few minutes, Popcorn was ready to return home.  His energy is waning, as he is now 14 years old.  As I opened the front door to go back into the house, more brittle leaves blew in, some caught in the doorway, some to Popcorn’s paws.  But, no matter, I thought, I had to clean the floor anyway.

After unhooking Popcorn’s leash and hanging it in the foyer closet along with my coat, I walked into the laundry room to get the broom.  I swept the foyer and only then did I notice some additional stains that needed a bit more muscle.  The leaves were now a thing of the past, so I wet a sponge and decided to spot clean the stains on the tile.  As I knelt down and began cleaning, I gasped…whose hands were these?

Dry, older hands were holding the sponge.  They couldn’t be mine, could they?  When did they get so old looking?  How could that happen without my realizing it?  I put my rings on every morning; do I not look?

I thought back to the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s date has “man hands”.  He stopped dating her for those hands that made his stomach churn when she brushed an eyelash off his cheek.  What did people think when they saw my hands?  How can I reverse this?  Are there “hand lifts” like there are “face lifts”? Would I get the work done if it was even possible?  All these thoughts bounced around in my head as I methodically, robotically, moved from one tile to the next removing any random spots, my thoughts racing a mile a minute.

I am in my early 50’s.  I never really thought about aging before.  I know that might sound odd, but it’s true.  Of course I realize I’m not going to be mistaken for a young person and I realized that my age may not enable me to be as marketable in the job market as a younger person; but, I also never contemplated actually being an older person.  I am just me, the same me I always was, wasn’t I?

My foyer has never been so clean as I worked in a trance-like state.  Thoughts entered my mind that I never really dwelled on before.  I am getting older, that reality, not simply the taking it for granted, seeped in to my head.  I am aging, I am heading full speed ahead into my AARP years, and there is no turning back.  Will I age gracefully?  Will I be fortunate enough to keep my wits about me? 

Before I knew it, I had reached the point where the foyer tile met the den carpeting.  There were no more tiles left to scrub.  Not as easily as I would have liked, I worked myself into a standing position and went back to the laundry room to rinse the sponge. 

I climbed the stairs to my bedroom with stealth determination.  I remembered the woman at the cosmetic counter recently giving me a sample of anti-aging, hand cream.  A sample I had thoughtlessly placed in my night-table drawer, thinking that wasn’t for me, not yet.  Now, with unbridled determination, I rubbed the anti-aging hand cream deeply into every pore of my dry hands. 

I may not be as young as I used to be, but hopefully I’m not as old as I will grow to be.  And certainly, most definitely and defiantly, I won’t give up without a fight!

Morning Coffee, Morning Thoughts

It’s cold in the house this morning.  This December has been unusually warm so far.  I am not complaining; that’s for sure.  However, this morning is rainy and chilly and it happens to be an excellent morning to sit back and truly enjoy my steaming hot cup of coffee while I do what I love, write. 

As I sit here, appreciating the warmth of the coffee, I have a few minutes to reflect, a rarity, as most mornings require running around, getting things done and getting out of the house. 

Since I lost my job, my better paying job, life has changed.  I am lucky in that unlike others who have lost their jobs, mine was definitely secondary.  My husband pays most all of the bills and I only need to contribute a small amount which my part-time job covers.  I am also extremely thankful that healthcare is one of the benefits of his position.  I can’t imagine how anyone who was laid-off and doesn’t have those benefits, exists. 

I am also exceptionally lucky to have a wonderful friend as my manager.  My friend, who hired me “until you find something else”, which now happens to be over a year ago, is a considerate, intelligent woman. I enjoy working with her.  She’s energetic, thoughtful, and always pleasant.  She has a heart as big as the universe.  The store where we work is close to home and most customers, most, are happy and pleasant.  I am thankful.

But, life has definitely changed.  The vacations, clothes, cars, and just general day-to-day expenses are no longer purchased without great thought and deliberation.  For example, my daughter needs to update her laptop.  A few years ago, I would have simply purchased the MacBook Pro she truly needs without a second thought.  Now, it’s not that easy.

With the holidays just around the corner, both Chanukah and Christmas, I used to enjoy and look forward to shopping for everyone.  I would shop for just the right gift, a gift that would touch the heart of the recipient; I wouldn't give much thought to price. Just seeing the look of joy as someone special opened their gift was my selfish pleasure.  When I would see that light of “wow, you really do know me”, I would feel happy.  Now, that same shopping is frustrating.  I find what I know the person on my list would love, but just can’t buy it. 

With my situation being one of the luckier financial ones considering the plight of the unemployed, it’s no wonder the economy isn’t picking up as quickly as it could.  When I think of the millions of unemployed and under-employed people, people who were middle management, like me, who are now working for so much less, it’s not surprising that demand is down.  With people spending less, companies need to produce fewer items, to produce fewer items they need less employees and the cycle continues its downward spiral.

I suppose what this is leading me to is the fact that unless the economy is stimulated, unless money is pumped into the economy, into the hands of the average citizen, not removed from them; the long-term situation will not improve.  I resent being told by some that this is the time our government needs to cut back.  No, wrong!  When corporations are sitting on trillions of dollars of profit, not hiring, getting by without risking anything, keeping us down, this is the time for our government to spend. 

Ours is a government for and by the people.  The people need help.  Our government needs to remember that they represent the people, not the corporations.  For despite what some say, corporations are NOT people.  When GE needs a colonoscopy, let me know, until then, forget it.

I think I need a second cup of coffee………..

Have a great day~

There IS a Beautiful Holiday Spirit!

After a beautiful day-after-Thanksgiving, my family and I turned on the television in my son’s apartment and settled in to relax together.  The news was on and we watched in horror as clips of Black Friday shopping craziness blared into the room.  At two different Walmarts’, folks were shot or pepper sprayed by fellow customers looking to grab holiday specials.  At a Target, a man was dying on the ground after collapsing with a heart attack.  Instead of helping him, people literally walked over him in search of a discounted coffee maker or some other such item.  Is this what this holiday is all about?

I was brought up in a time when Black Friday started at a normal hour.  People who worked retail could spend Thanksgiving WITH their families.  They would then be rested and ready for the official start of the holiday shopping season.  Stores would advertise items that they had ENOUGH of, not crazy deals for the first 3 lunatics in line.  Shopping was fun then, and you didn’t have to wear a bulletproof vest, maybe just a pair of snow boots!

This holiday season with its beautiful decorations, a theme of “Peace on Earth”, “Good Will Toward Men”, will we choose to celebrate it injuring our fellow man over a toy?

Disheartened, we turned off the news and switched to the Travel Channel.  With relief, we watched Anthony Bourdain in Sardinia.  He was celebrating food and family in a magnificent part of the world where his wife was born.  It was calming and reassuring to see that sanity does still exist.

I returned to work a few days later.  I work in a retail store so I was a bit leery of what I would encounter.  As I stood behind the register, I watched carefully as our store filled with holiday shoppers.  Happily, they filled their shopping carts with toys, scarves, books and blankets.  I focused on their faces and was heartened to see so many smiles, a few people were actually singing along to the music playing in the store!  As each person approached the check out line, they looked excited about their choices!  Their happiness made me happy!

I originally assumed that most customers with large orders were buying for their own families, friends, and neighbors.  However, although many were, there was a huge contingent that was actually shopping for strangers, neighbors in need!  I can’t tell you mathematically the exact percentage of shoppers who were there purchasing gifts for others, people who otherwise would not be able to give and receive gifts, but I can tell you it wasn’t small. 

I love to speak to our customers as I am ringing up their purchases.  I enjoy learning what people think and feel about our store and life in general.  I was so very impressed this week when I heard story after story of people buying gifts to bring to the Children’s Hospital, to a family who lost everything in a fire, to a gentleman who lost his wife and who had children that were handicapped and needed so much, story after story filled the air. 

The holiday spirit IS alive.  Perhaps if the media carried more stories like the ones I hear each and every day instead of the horrors that occasionally happen but are truly small in number, maybe people would feel better about themselves and the world.  Maybe if we concentrated more on all the goodness that is around us, instead of the incidents of ugliness, maybe our hearts would be lighter, we would be more optimistic and smile more.

Honestly, being out among the shoppers, hearing their stories, seeing them willing to give with huge smiles on their faces, I know the Holiday Spirit IS alive!  I am writing this to be sure everyone hears THIS news ~ most people are good, caring, loving, and generous. It feels great to give, and it is certainly a blessing to be in a position to do so.

Happy Holidays everyone!  Let your heart be happy and please know that when we are good to one another, good happens for all!

Grateful and Thankful - A Wonderful Thanksgiving!

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone way too quickly. 

The four-hour car ride with our little dog, Popcorn, on my lap as my husband drove, was filled with laughs. My daughter’s boyfriend brought along a comedy show that was perfect!  We laughed and I can't tell you enough how much I enjoyed the ride!  Even the rest stop was fun, if you can believe that! We walked the dog and bought some good snacks to enjoy through the second half of the journey!  The time passed quickly, and as we neared my son and his girlfriend’s apartment, I could feel my heart smile even wider.  Sharing the ride with my daughter, who is the most thoughtful, loving woman you could ever meet and her caring, loving boyfriend, was a perfect way for my husband and I to enjoy the journey, but now we were nearing the part where we would all be together!

I sent my son a text that we were a few minutes away and as we rounded the bend into his apartment complex I could see him and his girlfriend walking through the parking lot to greet us.  After six long weeks of being apart – I just wanted to hug him close.  With tears of happiness, I soaked in and cherished that hug so much.  I didn’t want to let him go. If I could have hugged him down the steps and in the door, I would have…but it would have looked silly to the rest of the universe!

They had a delicious lunch waiting for us.  I kept looking around the table, being sure to take that mental picture I always write about.  With everyone’s schedules it is no longer easy having everyone together.  This was my moment.  It is imprinted in my mind and will always be alive in my heart.

I wish my extended family, my Mom, brothers, nephews, nieces and great-niece, along with my Aunts, cousins and friends could all be together, but logistics make that impossible.  So, instead, I would treasure this time to devote to just my immediate, amazing family.  I will look forward to everyone else posting pictures on Facebook so we may at least share the day in cyber space!

But, back in my son’s apartment, we were laughing and enjoying being together!  I just kept looking over at my son and daughter and thinking how fast time goes by.  How was it possible that they were all grown, adults, forging their own paths?  Sometimes the minutes of our lives pass slowly, but I have found that no matter how slow the minutes, the years’ pass in a blink.  My son in graduate school…. my daughter a teacher…. I am so proud!!  Their choices in spouses - excellent!!  

Thanksgiving dinner was approaching.  We heated the food, which had been so lovingly prepared, and set the table.  I must admit I will brine again!  The turkey was amazingly good.  The dinner ended with cupcakes baked by my daughter and a cheesecake baked by our hosts along with other treats.  Delicious, sweet, wonderful – the desserts were as perfect as the entire Thanksgiving meal.

The rest of the weekend flew by and through all the events, a wine tasting, shopping, playing games, watching television, talking; I tried to appreciate every moment we were together. During the last few hours of our visit, we toured the campus where my son is studying for his PhD.  It was a beautiful day, more like spring than close to winter, and as we walked around the campus, I knew our time together, this time, was inching to a close.

Saying good-bye is not easy.  Maybe if I closed my eyes and wished really hard it would be Thursday morning again and we would just be pulling into the parking lot?  It didn’t work.  It was still Saturday, late afternoon, and we were packing up and heading back home.

As I hugged my son I flashed back to when he was a little baby.  I remember one particular night, he wasn’t sleeping well and I was rocking him in his room.  It must have been about 2 or 3 in the morning.  I had him on my shoulder and his little head was turned toward me as his eyes were finally fluttering closed.  His profile is etched in my mind.  I remember thinking then that some day this little, precious baby boy would be a man, would be taller than me, with wide, strong shoulders, and now, here I was being hugged goodbye by this tall man, with wide, strong shoulders.  A really good man, a man I am so proud of every minute of every day. 

As we drove away, I looked in the back seat to see my beautiful daughter.  I know how precious life is, and on this Thanksgiving holiday, I am so very thankful.

A Brining Disaster!!

It looked so easy on the cooking channel!  You just take your turkey, place it in the brining bag, add whatever brining recipe you choose, seal the bag and refrigerate. The turkey will marinate and then, after it’s cooked, it will be the most succulent, delicious turkey you’ve ever made!  It sounded so simple, and I found the brining bag on the aisle of Bed, Bath and Beyond and it was free with my $5 coupon!  How could I not brine - ?

While I was working at my part-time job yesterday, my wonderful daughter prepared the brine according to the directions on the brining bag box.  The ingredients sounded wonderful, molasses, kosher salt, sugar, garlic, maple syrup and lemon juice.  When I arrived home, we cleaned and dried the turkey and opened the box, which held the special brining bag.  It was a huge, strong bag!  My husband gently placed the turkey in the bag for me, as it, the turkey, weighs a ton.  (We earned a free turkey from our supermarket and therefore it was incumbent upon us to purchase the largest free bird possible.)

After he placed the turkey in the bag, my husband went in the other room leaving my daughter and I to add to the brining liquid to the turkey.  My daughter held the bag open for me as I gradually added the liquid, cup by cup.  As the bag filled, we kept close watch as according to the directions, the bird was to be fully covered. 

Suddenly, with the bag ¾ full of brine, the bag just caved in!  One end of it uncontrollably flopped to the side and gallons of the brine cascaded all over the kitchen!  The counter, the cabinets (inside and out), the silverware drawer, the stovetop, underneath the stove, especially the floor, all were covered with the sticky, salty fluid!

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I started laughing hysterically.  My husband ran down the steps to see what was going on and stepped fully into an inch of brine that was flowing over the tile floor!  With a look of horror I will keep in my mind for years to come, he started screaming how everything was covered in salmonella!  My daughter had to be sure her blackberry, which she had been holding in her other hand at the time of the explosion, was functioning, so she left the room. 

Luckily, we had just finished drying a load of towels so we gathered as many as we could, along with an entire roll of paper towel and cleaned the mess.  My husband had to pull the stove away from the wall so we could clean beneath it.  The silverware drawer had to be emptied as brine had worked its way in to each compartment; spoons, forks, knives, nothing was spared.  After about 25 minutes of disinfecting, drying, and cleaning, the kitchen was pretty much returned to normal, but the bird was still sitting in the bag.

My husband told me HE would hold the bag this time and so, once again, we began filling the bag with brine as we luckily (we thought) still had plenty brine left.  The turkey was about ¾ covered when I thought it needed just a little bit more.  Being out of brine, I decided adding one measuring cup (which is equal to 4 cups of water) could be added and it would be just enough.  So, I began to add that last cup while my husband continued to hold the bag. 

In an instant, an instant I tell you, the bag once again flopped down and with a splash and a flood like you could never imagine the brine, once again, gushed all over the entire kitchen.  The flooding brine covered even further this time.  It washed over the entire stove, filled the floor, once again invading every cabinet, drawer and crevice.  My husband was covered, from his chest to his socks with the brine and he was not happy. 

Once again, I started to laugh as I truly felt I was in an episode of situation comedy.  If only we had taped this entire ordeal, we would be a hit on youtube!  My husband did not appreciate either the humor of the situation or my hysterics.  He was beside himself and didn’t know where to run first!  He continued his salmonella mantra while getting even more towels out of the laundry basket!

A half hour later, so this is an hour since we started with this “simple brine”, we were finishing up cleaning the kitchen, using our steamer to be sure the floor was disinfected.  The turkey was still sitting proudly in the bag, with about an inch or two or brine, seemingly laughing at us.

We gave up.  We sealed the bag and placed the turkey in the refrigerator.  I finished cleaning the counters, having to even wash the liquid soap dispenser and the dish detergent bottle.   Before going to sleep we carefully flipped the bird in the bag so the other side would marinate overnight in the measly two inches of brine. 

The turkey is now cooking.  We rinsed it off this morning and drained the remaining brine down the drain.  After seasoning the bird with what smells like an amazing basting recipe received from a Williams Sonoma email, the turkey has now been cooking for 4 hours.

I must say, it smells amazing.  Just like Thanksgiving…

Have a wonderful holiday everyone!  And to all my friends and family, thank you for all the love and support you give me every day.  To all my blog followers, both in and out of the United States, I am thankful to you, too, and hope you continue to enjoy reading AWomansRoom.blogspot.com! 

It is people that make this life worth living.  Thank you all so much for being such wonderful people, such dear friends, and such great companions.  I love you all!

Retail Lunacy!

It’s early on an oddly warm November morning.  The manager of the store who happens to be my dear friend and I are working hard, unpacking shipment and putting new merchandise on display for our customers’ shopping ease and pleasure. With Thanksgiving coming this Thursday many early birds, (pardon the Thanksgiving expression) are getting a head start purchasing their Holiday gifts, decorations and wrapping paper.  The store is ramping up, the music is playing happy holiday tunes and everyone is busy enjoying the early holiday spirit!

A tall, young gentleman arrived at the cashier counter and asked me if there was a particular Transformer action figure on hold.  He stated the name of the figure and told me it should be on hold for ‘Keith’.  After a bit of searching, my manager found the character on top of a display of Snuggies placed on the shelf behind the cash registers.  The man was thrilled! He smiled a big, wide smile and asked if any other stores in our chain had this same character.  Eager to help, we called one or two other stores; no one had any of the figures.  The gentleman, Mike was his name, then explained to us that this figure, which we sell for $5, was selling for up to $75 on Ebay!  He left his name and telephone number and asked if we would be kind enough to call him if any more of this particular transformer was shipped to us.  With that, he left, thanking us for our help.

For the next hour we continued to be busy, very normal for this time of year. While pricing a shipment of gag soap, soap that looks like any regular bar but suds to a bloody lather, a middle-aged woman appeared at the register.  Politely she asked if we had a particular transformer on hold for Keith.  I looked at her, startled, and explained that we had such a transformer on hold, but that a gentleman named Mike had already picked it up.  Her eyes opened wide and with a glare that can only be described as crazed, she began to berate me.  “Why didn’t you ask for ID?” she demanded!  “I don’t know anyone named Mike and that toy was for my son and I”, she exclaimed! Now, please keep in mind, her son was not a little boy, he was a grown man who wanted the toy to sell on Ebay.

ID, I thought to myself, are you kidding me? This is a $5 toy!  But knowing I couldn’t say those things out loud, I simply informed the woman that the only ID we require for picking up a toy on hold, is the knowledge that the toy is on hold.  With anger in her eyes, she told me her son had given distinct instructions that ONLY Keith or Regina were permitted to purchase the transformer.  I informed her that the only paper on the toy was a note that it was on hold for Keith, there were no further instructions.  She seemed horrified!  I then asked her how someone else could know the toy was on hold under that name.  She replied, (hold onto your hat), that her son was so excited to know he found one of these “valuable” toys that he posted its location on his Facebook status the previous night! 

Politely I responded that we sometimes forget the fact that Facebook needs to be respected for its broadcast capabilities.  I expressed my regret that the wrong person had picked up the toy but told her that we truly had no way of knowing Mike was not sent to pick it up.  (I mean really…if you want to keep something secret, it shouldn’t be posted as your Facebook status!)  She told me the loss of the toy was extremely upsetting to her and that I needed to fully appreciate the gravity of the situation! Gravity she said!  A $5 toy! OY!!  She glared at me, a full, harsh stare for about 45 seconds.  She then walked around the perimeter of the cashier’s desk and stood right inside the doorway.  Before heading out of the store, she glared at me for another full minute!  There was honestly nothing more I could say to help this woman feel better about what had happened.  I believed anything additional would just make her angrier.  I wanted to explain to this woman that there were things in life worthy of being upset about but this wasn’t one of them!  Instead, I went back to pricing gag soap, as if the clip, clip, clip of the pricing gun would calm the situation. After a minute or so, I turned around to find she had gone.

The Holidays are a busy, fun, wild time in retail.  The days fly by as customers and stock keep us on constant move.  Most people in our store enjoy the fact that the toys are fairly priced and that the children in their lives are going to love and enjoy them.  It’s a happy place and customers like the ‘Transformer Lunatic’ are, thankfully, rare.

So, happy shopping everyone!  Black Friday is around the corner – enjoy the hunt!  But hopefully keep in perspective that a toy is just a toy and its purpose is to make someone you love happy.  Remember, the loved ones are what's important, not the toy.  And try to remember that every retail sales person is someone's loved one.

Happy shopping to all!!

All My Children…We miss YOU!

We’ve endured almost two months now without our favorite soap.  Weeks without Tad, Jesse, Kendell, Zach, Ryan and Greenlee; it was not enjoyable.  My daughter and I watched clips of AMC on YouTube to help us “get over” the draught.  We watched times gone by in Pine Valley, stories with Myrtle that made us cry because we miss her compassion and humor. Her memory is certainly cherished.  We watched Palmer and Adam battling, then Adam and JR battling.  We cheered for Zach in his many acts of heroism and we admired Bianca for her strength. 

The Pine Valley family has been a large part of our lives, a fun diversion from the every day routine for decades.  It is a welcome form of entertainment that my daughter and I do not wish to do without.  There is no other television show that can recapture the deep, multi-faceted characters of Pine Valley for the simple reason that we have grown up with those characters, have followed their history and trials and tribulations year after year.  I remember Brooke and Erica as teenagers, rebellious, fun loving.  My daughter remembers Natalie in the well, and the entire Janet/Trevor storyline.  Visiting Pine Valley every day was a welcome escape from daily worries.

We hope, along with so many others we know, that the stories of “All My Children” will continue on-line.  We search headlines looking for some ray of sunshine, some new fact that will allow us to feel positive about our favorite storylines continuing.

To the All My Children family of actors, please consider the history and the groundbreaking stories your show has delved into.  Please understand that millions of us are looking forward to the deep interactions and intertwined lives of your characters continuing.  We hope you take these factors into consideration when weighing your options to continue this drama. 

The decades that Pine Valley existed, the worthwhile stories it promoted, the escape it provided, cannot be duplicated.  Just as the strength of a long marriage is enhanced and made irreplaceable through the years of shared experience, this show is unique and irreplaceable through its years of existence. 

Our lives are full and of course we will continue with or without “All My Children”, but we certainly hope that as we grow older, we do so in your good company.

Watching Videos of Times Gone By

Yesterday morning, sitting comfortably in my favorite living room chair, the one in which I usually fall asleep, I sat and watched a DVD from 1987 with my husband, my mom, my daughter and her boyfriend.   The quality of the pictures, technically, was not the best, but the pictures are worth a million dollars.

Life changes so gradually.  Looking back I realize how completely different life was in so many ways, yet, in so many other ways, things are exactly the same.

Getting beyond the huge glasses, the wide shoulder pads, and the HUGE hair, the people, my family, many of those there, are no longer here.  In the videos, my Grandparents were helping my four-year daughter overcome her fear of balloons popping.  It was my daughter’s 4^th birthday party. She was as adorable as she is today.  She's always funny, insightful, and beautiful. Her being who she is makes my heart smile, always has, from the moment she was born.  My Dad was sitting on the floor, watching the Eagles game, a usual Sunday activity.  My Mom was busy setting the table and to be quite honest, I seemed a bit overwhelmed and even a bit harried and cranky.  I wish that old me, who was so much younger than today’s me, had looked around at all the people who were in the room and appreciated the moment.  A room filled with so much love.  I just wish, looking back, I didn’t take so much of what was there that day for granted. 

My Grandfather was one of the nicest men to ever walk the earth.  He was a quiet man, a hard-working man, and a gentle giant.  He always had a cigar in his mouth, even though it was rarely lit.  Even when he fell asleep in a chair, the cigar would remain on his lips, a real marvel.  His smile would light the room.  My Grandmother was an amazingly protective woman who took great care of her “Herman”.  In the video, she was showing my daughter that a balloon, although possible to pop and vulnerable, was actually pretty strong.  My Grandmother always spoke her mind, but her love for her family was all encompassing, all protecting.  She taught me to never underestimate the power a woman holds, her importance for keeping a family together.  My Dad, a funny, loving, caring, dependable, brave man who I miss every day, was right there, healthy and strong.  They were all there, all in the room, yet I was so busy with so many things.  Was I too busy to appreciate all the love that surrounded me?  I know I took for granted that because those present had always been there, they would continue to always be there.  Unfortunately, that’s not how life goes.

Day by day life changes and we don’t realize that as the minutes tick away, the years are flying by.   Everyone is both vulnerable and strong.   The generations gradually change and as my Mom says, we move up to the next layer.  We start off young, the children, running around, having fun, complaining to be sitting at the kids table.  Then we turn into teenagers, thinking about where we’ll be heading with our friends AFTER the family get-together.  When we’re young married couples, we think we know so much.  Then, when we have children, we watch them run around, having fun, and we follow, being sure they’re safe.  When they become teenagers, we see the look in their eyes and remember, wondering how we can continue to keep them safe.  Before you know it, we’re the middle-aged relatives.  All of a sudden, we're the ones telling stories of how things were when we were young – before IPods and cell phones.  We see our parents aging; we lose people we thought would always be there, some way too young.

Videos are priceless.  They not only remind us of who we were, they remind us who we really are.  Family history, learned lessons, love given, love received, all these things have given us strength and courage.  All these actions have given us the support and love we need to function, to be productive and add value to life.  

There are now new faces at family gatherings.  Faces that weren’t born yet in 1987, faces we hadn’t met yet, but all are vital.  For example, my wonderful son who wasn’t born until 1988 wasn’t in this particular video, yet he, like my daughter, is of top importance to me.  They are my heart.  Each member of our family, from the littlest baby to the newest family member added through love or friendship, is priceless.  Each of us individually, our quirks, our presence, add up to a whole that is unique yet evidenced in each family photo around the globe.  Every life is precious and means the world to someone. 

The next time my family and friends are together I just want to be sure to appreciate that moment in time.  I want to spend quality time with every one there and be aware of how lucky we are, at that precise moment, to be together.  I don’t want to allow any of the cooking, cleaning, any of the work involved tasks to take priority over the fact that we are all together.  I want to be aware and appreciate - I also want to take videos for even as that moment is being enjoyed, it is flying by.  

I Wish I Could Sing!

Today, I was driving along on a beautiful, tree-lined road.  The sun was shining through golden, autumn leaves casting cool looking shadows on the sidewalk by the road.  Just then, the Jim Croce song, “Time in a Bottle”, came on the radio.  Instantly, I was transformed to another time and place, a place where I was much, much younger and my surroundings were very different.  Being that I was alone in the car at the time, I started singing with all my heart, really belting out the song while at the same time appreciating the power of the words.  After all, the lyrics have such special meaning considering Jim Croce died, tragically, so very young and so very suddenly.

As I was singing, I came to a red light.  Something drew my attention, pushing me to look over to the car on my right.  A young man was looking over at me, starring, the look on his face was actually hysterical.  His expression was one of disbelief, as if he thought I had lost my mind!  (Perhaps I had!)  Maybe he thought I was talking to myself, maybe he thought I was just a crazy middle-aged lady, whatever he thought I couldn’t even begin to imagine.  All I know is he was a lucky man.  He was lucky because he couldn’t possibly have heard me singing!  My windows were up, very tight.  After all, I may love to sing, but I was certainly not blessed with a beautiful singing voice, and subjecting the world to my voice is simply too harsh an action. 

My Dad, however, had an amazing voice.  He used to sing Frank Sinatra songs on Sunday mornings and I am not exaggerating when I say, to me, he sounded exactly like ‘Old Blue Eyes’ himself.  I would sit in my room and listen to my Dad singing while he was getting dressed for the day.  To this day I can hear him, loud and clear, in my head. Those memories still make my heart smile.  “All or Nothing at All”, “Come Fly With Me”, “Strangers in the Night”, and “What are You Doing the Rest of your Life” would be playing and my Dad knew every word and would sing out strong.  I really loved those times.  His strong voice, so clear and deep would ring through the upstairs.  If he was singing, all was right with the world.

Although I have my Dad’s love for music, I do not have the quality of his voice.  I heard myself sing on a cassette tape, once, many years ago, and could not believe that horrible voice was mine!  You would think it would keep me from ever singing again, but it doesn’t.  I’ll sing whenever I am given the chance, as long as I’m with those that care about me.  I would never subject strangers to my squeaking!  I love the XM radio in my car.  I don’t bring my IPod when I drive as most people do, as I love the surprise of not knowing what song is coming on next.  Each song is like a little gift, bringing back its own memories and feelings.  (At home I use my IPod, especially when I cook…I sing and stir and sauté and I’m a happy lady!)

I admire and am a bit envious of anyone who can carry a tune and wish I could do so.  But, whether I am off-key or not, I will continue to sing at any opportunity.   Whether it’s Carole King, Cat Stevens, James Taylor, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, the Beatles, or pretty much anyone, I will sing along.   I honestly don’t care who pulls up in the car next to me, who’s watching television in the other room, or what they think when they hear me, I will sing and enjoy. 

So, the next time you pull up to a light and there’s a lady in a car really getting into the music, stare all you like, but just let her be.  She may be a bit strange, but she’s having fun!  Perhaps just be happy, and maybe a bit thankful, that her windows are up! 

Too Late For Lunch ~ Too Early For Dinner!

Too late for lunch, too early for dinner

If I eat now, I’ll get fatter, not thinner

But hunger has struck like the clock at three

As I gaze in the fridge, longingly…

There’s juice and milk, pickles and butter

But nothing that makes my heart flutter.

So down one shelf I peek some more

Some yogurt, an apple, oh what a bore!

Then one shelf below, I start to shake!

A leftover piece of creamy cheesecake!

I try to ignore it with all my might

But cheesecake is a true delight…

Maybe just a sliver will suffice

Carefully I cut a super thin slice

Placed on its side the little piece sat

It looked amazing, (though a little flat),

My fork cut through with silky ease

My taste buds ready for my cake of cheese…

I closed my eyes; it was so smooth

Maybe being fat was a worthy move?

The creamy sweetness on my lips;

The calories heading for my hips ~

I savored each bite with blissful pleasure.

A piece of heaven, a worthy treasure~

So when it’s too late for lunch, too early for dinner

And you’re in search of a treat that’s really a winner

Don’t feel guilty, choose your snack with flair

There’ll be plenty time later to hit the stairs!