Defeat

I didn’t vote for Donald J. Trump.  I would never have voted for such a damaged man to be President of the United States, even if he had run as a Democrat, the party to which I belong. 

We may take small comfort in the fact that Hillary Clinton won, at this point, over 1 million votes MORE than djt, and that number is rising.  But that fact, along with $5, will buy you a cup of coffee.  It is comforting, but meaningless.  Our system elects our Presidents through the Electoral College.  Fighting for that to change is definitely on the list of things we need to do, but it won’t change the reality we wake up to today.

What REALLY troubles me, aside from the fact that djt is President-elect….(gagging), is that 46% of America did NOT vote.  Why?  How can that be?  This election was covered tirelessly.  The media, which was completely inept in the importance of what they covered, certainly kept us informed of what minutia the Donald was up to on a minute-by-minute basis.  Their consistent coverage gave him more free airtime than probably any other candidate in our country’s history.  It certainly propelled him through the republican primaries when other candidates with records and policies were called names and disrespected by trump.  The media thought that was a laugh riot.

Then, their coverage of an email server…. what a ridiculous story, took the headlines.  The fact that most of the emails were Hillary asking her staff to “print this” for her, or were asking to go out for a crème brulee…. that didn’t matter.  Hillary did a stupid thing, but let’s be real, an almost 70 year old woman doesn’t handle her own IT decisions.  Whoever advised her of this, knowing she wanted to run for President, was amazingly stupid.  But it was just that, stupid.  She never used it for wrong, as the constant investigations proved over and over again.  The media, however, made it look sinister and the cooperation of the FBI, 11 days before the election, certainly didn’t help.  But, all that in stride…there was no reason for ANYONE to Not VOTE!!  You couldn’t possibly ignore this election!  Why wouldn’t you want your voice to be heard?  Our voices together are what make our country great.  By not voicing yours, our country will now be diminished.  Hate and bigotry will rule.  Fear and ignorance will be pushed; all this because so many didn’t vote when so very much was on the line. 

Now, to be fair, Hillary was an uninspiring candidate and I could go on and on about how the Democratic primary was largely at fault.   Hillary just isn’t a good candidate.  She carries with her so much baggage, rightly or wrongly…but none of her baggage compared to the complete luggage set that trump packed.  His KKK backers, his sexual predatory bragging, his lack of knowledge about international affairs, his relationship with Putin, his talk of massive deportation, his bringing the woman Bill Clinton had affairs with to a debate, his constant sniffing at the debates, his stiffing of his creditors, his bankruptcies, his not showing his taxes…I could go on and on. 

So, djt will be President winning less than half the popular vote, which is actually made up of about half of our voting eligible population.  Trump will be President with the support of probably little over 35% of the population.  This seems to be the same 35% that believe President Obama is Muslim (not that there’s anything wrong with it if he was, but he’s not) and that watch Fox “news”.  This is sick.

He will say he has a mandate.  He does not.  He will install hateful, ignorant men to head all aspects of government.  He will have hate, Bannon, as his right-hand man and booster.  Trump has zero experience and less intellectual curiosity…. as a matter of fact, this election was his first job interview ever.  Tweeting is his “fav” method of communication. 

Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he married three women, cheated on at least two of them, (probably all three) and eight years ago he was strongly against everything he is now for…what adult changes that dramatically in such a short time?  Answer:  No one.  He hasn’t changed…. his one philosophy is doing whatever strikes him, whatever benefits him, at the moment ~ not what benefits you or me or even his supporters….solely what benefits him and his privileged family. 

Let’s hope that at this very moment the reality of his powerful situation finally affords him some sense of responsibility.  Do I believe it will?  No.  Why would I?  He has NEVER taken responsibility for anything he has said or done.  He thinks he can do with others whatever he wants out of a false sense of superiority and entitlement.  He will allocate responsibility in his administration to ‘yes’ men so that he can then blame those same ‘yes’ men when it all goes so horribly wrong….which it will, because his ideas are flawed and hateful and history already proved them wrong.  He will boast when something seems to be going right…even Hitler had successes before he eventually brought his country to its’ knees.  Please, let’s not give trump the freedom to enact the horrific policies he is about to push.  The 65% of us that disagree with pretty much everything this man has spewed this last year and half need to remain engaged, vocal, strong and informed. 

I vow, here and now, to not let this election ruin everything so many have worked for these many decades.  We will not allow Donald to damage the environment, track Muslims, build a friggin wall, or be bffs with Putin.  We will be trump’s worst nightmare as for once in his 70 years of life, he will have people ready to call him out for what he is….a frightened, sad man with lots of gold, but no soul.  We have to work hard, within the system, to expose and negate the actions of trump.  It will be tough because the media will not remain focused unless we keep them so.

Defeat when we have the numbers on our side will not stand for long.  We have to fight this situation with all the legal means we presently have (before he tries to take them away) because we truly are fighting for our very survival. 

A Wonderful Dance

                        


My son's wedding is now over a month ago.  He and his beautiful wife are back home from their honeymoon in Iceland.  They had an absolutely breathtaking time and I am glad they went and happy they are home safely.

Before the wedding, I wrote a blog about choosing a song for the Mother/Son dance. I have to now say, the moment was even more than I could have hoped.  During the dance, looking in my son's eyes, holding him in my arms as I've done from the moment he was born until this precious moment, the world around me truly didn't exist.  I forgot about all the people watching us and was lost in an overwhelming, forever connection. The love and pride I have for my Michael is truly never-ending.  His compassion, his thoughtfulness, his consideration, his intelligence and his loyalty all shine through.

I promised in the blog before his wedding I would let you in on the song we chose to dance to afterward.  The time is here.  

The song was "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You" sung by Rod Stewart (written by Van Morrison).  

The song can be heard by clicking the following link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ4NAZPi2js

In my texts to my children, I tell them multiple times how much I love them.  Michael once said something to me on the lines of, other Mom's don't tell their children 'I love you' in a lifetime as often as I say it in one email.

I can't help it.  I was never good at hiding my feelings.

I will let the song speak for itself. I hope you enjoy.

Michael......have I told you lately that I love you?  You fill my heart with gladness and take away all my sadness.....ease my troubles, that's what you do.

Why Hillary Clinton makes me angrier than Donald Trump…and why I’m voting for her anyway. ~ A special blog written by my son!

After reading my son's thoughts on this year's election, I thought it was tremendously important for others to see how so many of us view the 2016 Presidential election.  I hope you take the time to read this beautifully written essay written by Michael~

This has been a strange election year for a number of reasons, mostly due to the absurdity of candidates that the Republicans have put forward, but also due to the rise of Bernie Sanders. I started following Bernie around June of last year, and my first thought was, “I’m so glad Clinton won’t run unopposed! A primary challenger will make her a stronger candidate to run against the Republicans.” Then, something amazing happened. I started listening to Bernie Sanders speak…and I heard everything I’ve wanted to hear for my entire adult life which I thought was impossible to say in American politics: We should have single payer healthcare, tuition free public college, a livable minimum wage, guaranteed sick and family leave, etc…I could go on for pages. I always thought that the things I believed in would never gain traction in this country, in a sense, I felt alone. Then Bernie came along, and with millions of followers together, I didn’t feel alone anymore. There is a sizable group of people in America that do believe what I believe, and it feels great. In short, I have known since the first time I went to Europe in 2008 that America is not the shining city on the hill that we were taught about in school. We are not the greatest country in the world, but WE CAN BE! We can provide the things that Europeans consider to be basic human rights. The only thing stopping us is our own pessimism. So I fell in love with Bernie’s policies, talked about him to people I knew and spread the word, donated (Maybe a bit too much for someone who makes what I make) to his campaign. 

There is another side to this however: Hillary Clinton. I grew up thinking (And still do think) that Bill Clinton was one of the best Presidents of the modern era. His wife, however, is someone I have never been a fan of. Back in 2008, I was originally a supporter of John Edwards. Despite what he has done since, he was the first one on the national stage to be talking about income inequality, what he called “Two Americas” in 2008. I supported him in my first ever Presidential campaign, but he was a fringe candidate and didn’t last long. Luckily for me, when he dropped out, there was another candidate that I had an enormous amount of respect and admiration for, a young senator named Barack Obama. I had no trouble switching to the Obama campaign in 2008, because I loved him just as much as Edwards. I was not a sore loser, I did not withhold my vote, and I happily campaigned for Obama in 2008 and 2012. If I could accept the fact that my candidate lost in the primaries in 2008 and get behind another Democrat when I was just a kid, I don’t think my reservations about doing it now are about being pouty, spoiled, or having a temper tantrum. It’s democracy, the one with the most votes wins, and Hillary is going to win the primary. The truth is, now that we are down to Hillary Clinton vs. Republicans, I realize that for the first time, there is no candidate that I can turn to and think “I respect and admire this person”.

Why do I not admire Hillary Clinton? I’m a Democrat and so is she. I’m a feminist, and so is she. I’m an environmentalist, and so is she. I do believe that she has faced an unprecedented amount of criticism and scrutiny, much of it being due to the fact that she is a woman. I want to see the first woman President. I think that would be an enormous step forward for the country on a cultural level. However, I want the first woman President to be someone I admire, respect, and believe in. Unfortunately, no matter how much I try to convince myself, that woman is not Hillary Clinton. Hillary was not with us in the fight against the Patriot Act and the Iraq war, until they were proven disastrous. She was not with us in the fight for LGBT rights, until it was already popular nationwide. She was not with us in the fight against trade deals like TPP, until polls came out saying Democrats didn’t want it. She was not with us in the fight against the Keystone pipeline, until the left pushed her to be. All of this adds together to make a disturbing trend of things that progressives hold dear that Hillary has fought against, only to come around as soon as it is politically favorable. The honest truth is that I WANT to believe her when she says she’s a progressive, but when she says in front of a different group of people that she is a centrist, it’s hard to believe her. I WANT to believe in her, but I don’t.  

This is where I get to the meat of my rant. If Hillary Clinton votes with Bernie Sanders 93% of the time, it should be a no-brainer for me in this election. Unfortunately, it’s more complicated than that. Like George Takei said in his fantastic video I posted to my facebook, the fight between Bernie and Hillary is like a family squabble. The problem is, that’s why it’s so hard for me to come over to her. When your enemy does something to spite you, nothing changes: you still hate them, they still hate you, and none of your previous misconceptions have been challenged. However, when someone of your own family, a friend, or a loved one betrays you, it cuts much deeper. It’s much harder to forget, and it hurts a lot more. This is why I dislike Hillary Clinton so much. It hurts to see a DEMOCRAT up there saying we can’t make the minimum wage a livable salary, that we can’t change anything about the horrendous prices of university, that we can’t change the campaign finance system destroyed by citizen’s united in 2010, that we can’t ban fracking, and that the Iraq war was just a whoopsie-daisy rather than a complete bastardization of everything America claims to be. These are all progressive liberal staples, and ones that progressives should be champions of, not giving up before the fight begins. So yes, Hillary Clinton is not my enemy, she’s family, which is why it hurts so much when she betrays me.

So if I think of Hillary Clinton as a person who personally betrayed me and my ideals, how could I vote for her? I won’t lie, it’s hard, but there are two words that should get everyone to the voting booth in November: Donald Trump. Donald Trump is a con man, racist, misogynist, xenophobe, narcissist, sociopath. Donald Trump is the absolute personification of everything that’s wrong with America. He’s a pseudointellectual bully who would not hesitate to use force to get his way. I feel dirty for even mentioning his name, but that’s how far gone the Republican party is. I don’t even need to get into specifics here. If I need to list reasons to you why Trump is a national disgrace, you’re already a lost cause.  

Overall, I’m left with a choice: Do I vote for someone who I’ve despised for my entire life, and is the worst of America incarnate? Do I vote for someone who I feel has betrayed the very people who helped elevate her to the position she’s in now? Do I abstain from voting? Vote for a 3^rd party candidate for some misguided “Protest vote” that no one will ever see or care about? The truth is, there is no good option for me, or any of the progressives out there who truly want America to join the EU in the 21^st century.

Welcome to the 2016 general election America. It’s rotten, it’s a disgrace, it’s a betrayal of most of the ideals I hold dear, and it will inevitably be a small (Or large) step backwards in the ongoing fight for America’s progression forward. It’s a terrible decision to make, but sit down and take your medicine progressives. It tastes bitter as hell…Hillary 2016.

The Right Song

My son, Michael, is getting married in June. 

Weddings are beautiful when you are a guest and you see the couple, so in love, so excited about starting their lives together as a married couple.  However, as I learned watching my daughter get married, they are an entirely deeper, heart-filling experience when it is your own child up there exchanging vows.  The hopes and dreams you hold for this new Mr. and Mrs. fills your universe.  Your soul expands with a joy that is all encompassing and overwhelming. 

Here is this person, this beautiful, loving, caring person that you raised and nurtured beginning one of the most joyful, hopefully everlasting, relationships that life offers.  I think back to all the experiences my husband have shared and I can only hope that my children’s’ spouses are always there for them, in good times and in tough times, because life is full of both, as my husband has been there for me.  Through all my goofiness, silliness, and over-protective worrying quirks, he has stood by me.  No one is perfect, but having a partner that willingly accepts those quirks, even when they may make him a bit exasperated at times, is really what this special, unique partnership is all about.   

Knowing how emotional I am going to be at my son’s wedding has always been an accepted fact.  Just as my daughter and I have an exceptionally close relationship; my son and I do too.  I am very lucky to have a son who is willing to discuss his interests, his goals, his dreams, and his aspirations.  We have always shared fun times….from the times when he would so seriously discuss his imaginary friends, starting with Momboweeze, Peekels etc, to collecting beanie babies, to playing Mario Kart when he was younger, up to the present when we share some of the most heartfelt discussions over politics, his deeply meaningful work, the love of his life, and anything else under the sun.  My son brightens my world and fills my heart with a love that is impossible to put into words. 

At my daughter’s wedding, my husband had the chance to dance with her, the bride.  I loved every minute of watching them, holding each other, images of him cradling her in his arms when she was a newborn merged into this one dance.  He found a song that perfectly described the emotions of that moment.  Now, it will be my turn to have that special dance with my Michael.  The song has to be perfect.  I know that probably no one else will listen to the words, but I will, and I want the words to resonate with my son and convey to him the love, respect, and pride I feel whenever I think of him.

I know that everyone has thought my search for this special song has been a bit over the top.  I emailed a DJ I know, and a very special singer, song writer and asked them to pour over songs that could possibly relate to a Mother/Son Dance.  It is amazing to me that there is such little to choose from in the millions of songs that are out there!!  Most are about romantic love, or there are songs about Fathers and Sons or Sons to Mother…..but they usually involve important passages, like in the song “Sadie” by the Spinners: 

“Early one Sunday morning

Breakfast was on the table
There was no time to eat
She said to me, "Boy, hurry to Sunday school"

Filled with her load of glory
We learned the holy story"

These lyrics have nothing to do with our relationship, even though he did go to Hebrew School on Sunday, this just didn’t pertain. My search continued for months from songs such as “You are the Sunshine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder, to “You’ll be in My Heart” by Phil Collins…..”How Deep is the Ocean” sung by Barbara Streisand and her son Jason Gould, to finally “Because you Loved Me”, by Celine Dion.  They are all beautiful songs, but none felt right.  They all had an important passage or two that just didn’t pertain or make sense.  I was feeling disappointed but refused to give up the search.  I knew that my hours of pouring through music on YouTube and asking everyone would not be in vain.

Words are so important to me.  Words can heal or destroy, they can empower or hinder, they are powerful and meaningful and in the midst of this special day, Michael's wedding day, words need to be filled with love and importance. This moment, this dance, when I get to hold my son in my arms, I want to make him know and understand how absolutely vital he is to my life.  I want him to feel how deeply I admire him, how strongly I support him, how proud I am of him, how unconditionally I love him.

I have found my song.  After months of searching and believing it hadn’t been written yet, I stumbled across it on my way to work yesterday morning.  I was listening to talk radio, when I had enough of politics, and thought I needed a little music.  I turned the station and a song came on that I hadn’t heard in quite some time.  By the time I arrived at work, my make-up was running from my tears.  THIS was the song.  I wrote it down and wondered if I would feel the same when I heard it again, and read the lyrics. 

This morning, I did both those things and I feel even more certain of this song.  I know it will be only two minutes of this very special day, but it will be two minutes that will live in my heart forever. 

Michael ~ I am so glad you agree and like this song.  When we dance, just always know that you are loved more than words, no matter how great they are, could ever convey.  Just know that I wish you and Rebecca all the most wonderful of times together. Like the saying goes, “May your joys be doubled and your sorrows be halved”.  Just always know……..

I love you for ever, I love you for always ~

PS) I will post the song after the wedding.........

Oy, What are We Doing?????

Last night I watched the Republican debate.

It was filled with anger and filled with hate.

They argued over each other without end ~

Donald even talked of his little “friend”……

Wake up America, this is beyond comprehension!

That we could support these folks fills me with tension!

Anyone not white, Christian and male....

They hate us all, without fail.

Cruz is a lunatic, no compromise.

Rubio misses work, no surprise

Kasich tries to look smart; he’s not wise

Trump is a narcissist in orange disguise

They rant and scream, they holler, so rude!!

Their lack of solutions is embarrassing, crude.

Their consistent mantra is to fill you with fear.

Their bigotry and belittling makes me shed a tear.

It’s embarrassing to witness what has become

a part of America, proud to be dumb!

Please, United States, don’t elect this scum!

I’ll be humiliated to say this is where I come from.

A Presidential debate should be full of thought;

At least that’s what I was always taught.

What we’re showing our children is a shame

picking a President just on fame?????

So please America, shake off the stupid!!

The ugliness shown can’t be disputed.

We’re in this world, we’re a big part ~

Let’s lead with love and a peaceful heart.

Turn off the media when they talk of Trump!!

He’s nothing but a vulgar chump.

Stop the hate ~ don’t be so small.

Remember, We’re AMERICA…after ALL!!!!!!

Communication is Key!!

When will companies learn that communication is of vital importance and would actually help THEM have a much easier existence?

This morning, I had to be up at 4 AM as we had inventory at the store where I work and heaven forbid they have it at normal business hours and lose sales.  Our company hires an outside organization to help with our inventory.  Just for general reference, it’s a Monday morning, after a major snowstorm that blanketed the entire east coast of the United States with over two feet of snow. 

My alarm rang at 3:54 AM (I always set it for weird times).  I got out of bed and walked sleepily into the bathroom to get washed.  It takes a minute for warm water to flow, so I turned on the faucet and waited patiently.  After what seemed like a long time, the water still was not getting warm.  Just then, my husband came up the stairs with a note in his voice that always tells me something is wrong.  The heater was not firing.  We have oil heat so when it doesn’t fire we don’t have heat OR hot water, which is especially bad when it’s 12 degrees outside.

Getting washed with cold water wasn’t fun; sitting on a very cold toilet seat is also not a barrel of laughs.  My husband called our heating company as they supposedly have an “Emergency Line”.  So, by 4:10 AM, we put in our first call.

Meanwhile, I got dressed and headed out to work, in the cold, in the dark, on the partially snow covered roads.  Thankfully, my husband drove me to the store.  Still waiting for the heating company to call us back, our cell phones were in our glove-covered hands.

The bright lights of my store looked welcoming.  I could see the cars of my fellow employees in the parking lot, but the van that should be there to bring the inventory company's employees was nowhere to be seen.

The Assistant Manager of the store opened the door for me.  He is a nice, funny young man who I always look forward to working with, next to him was another part-time manager who is one of the hardest working people I have ever had the privilege to work alongside.  As my husband started to pull away, they told me to stop him.  Apparently, the Supervisor of the job from the inventory company couldn’t get to our store and therefore the inventory was cancelled.  All of us, the workers from our store were there.  We had prepared for the week prior and if inventory was not taken today, most of our work was for nothing, not to even mention the fact that we had all woken up so early, on such a cold, dark day after a blizzard, to be there.

Why didn’t they know earlier that she couldn’t be there?  Why didn’t they call our store manager or our district manager before we were all there?  Wouldn’t she have known or at least had an inkling the night before that she couldn’t make it??  Communication!!!!!!  All of us were not only annoyed, our company wanted us to clock right out, so we were destined to have done all of this for nothing!

During this time, my husband had gone home as a co-worker said he would drive me back if the inventory company couldn’t find another supervisor.  Once again, the communication of the inventory company, internally, and to us, was severely lacking causing a continuation of confusion and anxiety.

The parallel side of this is that my husband and I were still waiting for a call back from our heating company.  My husband texted me when he arrived home to say he still hadn’t heard anything, so he called the “Emergency Number” again.  Once again a woman, who is probably just part of a generic answering service, took our number and said someone would get back to us. 

At 6 AM the inventory company had finally contacted the Manager of our store with their definitive answer, the inventory was to be cancelled!  All the work, all the hassles of fighting snow covered roads to get in, all for nothing!!  We were told to clock out and go home.  Thankfully, my prior manager, who was there as our company supervisor, drove me home.

I walked in the door to find my husband frustrated to no end.  He had not heard a thing from our heating company.  It was now after 6 so it had been two hours.  Our house was freezing cold and who knew if the pipes were going to burst?!!  Some emergency number!!!!!!

At 6:30 AM he called again, at 7, I called.  I asked why we hadn’t even received a call back as it was now already 3 hours since our initial call.  She said all she did was leave messages.  What’s the sense of that?  If an EMERGENCY number just leaves messages, why not just have an answering machine?  What difference is there to the customer if there is no actual SERVICE behind the number?  And, why don’t they tell you, after the initial call, that you won’t hear back until after normal business hours?  I did ask when the office of the heating company actually opens during our last call to the emergency number.  She told us they open at 7:30 AM.

My husband and I sat under blankets, wore gloves, and continued to wait for some word.  We gave the office a few minutes to get in and called back at 7:35.  A woman answered the phone at the actual company; thankfully, it was no longer the answering service.  However, the woman was beyond rude right off the bat.  She said we were on the list and someone would be here sometime today.  My husband tried to convey the fact that we were concerned about our pipes bursting and that we were freezing in the house.  My 88-year-old mother lives with us, which is an added concern.  The woman at the heating company could not have cared less.  My husband asked if we could get a “window” as to when we might expect some help or if someone could at least call us back to tell us something we could do to keep our pipes from bursting which would only be a bigger problem for them to fix and a more expensive problem for us.  With a note of annoyance, she told us we would hear from someone this morning.  Now why did she have to be so rude?  Why couldn’t she just have told us that from the beginning? 

Communication!!!!!  The inventory company could have avoided extra hassles to everyone by cancelling the night before OR at least by 3 AM this morning!  The heating company could have informed us that the emergency number just takes the message and passes it along to the company when they open at 7:30.  The woman at the heating company could have answered the phone with a smile and told us she knew of our issue, had contacted a repairman, and he would be out this morning!  Both episodes would have been so much easier for everyone had common sense communication taken place!

Here’s the message I am trying to communicate this morning.  When an issue comes up, as issues always will, be honest, confront it as early as possible, and communicate a solution or a timetable to a solution, clearly and nicely.  I don’t understand the benefit of anything less!!  It doesn’t help the person with the problem as they become frustrated and annoyed and it doesn’t help the company involved, as a frustrated, unhappy customer will eventually lead to a failed business.

Thankfully, the oil company repairman has now been here for over an hour and he is knowledgeable and friendly.  Had the office been as professional, I would be now writing how great it was to have the problem solved before lunch.  A positive perspective is enhanced by clear, honest, friendly communication.  We are not adversaries unless forced to feel that way.

That’s my rant for the day.  I hope I’ve communicated it clearly!!

Just Ask

Did you ever wake up in the middle of night, in the middle of a dream only to find yourself falling back to sleep and back to the same dream?  It happened to me last night and it has stuck with me this morning.

The strongest feeling that is still with me this morning is one of anticipation.  I’ll set the stage for you to the best of my ability so you can follow along.  Maybe you can tell me what you think it all means.

Apparently, I was in charge of orchestrating a very small dinner party.  The woman who hired me to arrange this party was always in shadows.  I could see that she was probably forty-ish and had shoulder length dark hair.  Her voice was soothing but strong.  There were to be 7 other guests at this party, aside from myself, and the woman in control of this occasion held very high connections.  

She sat across from me behind a huge glass desk.  Her swivel chair was turned so that as she spoke she was looking out of a floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked a clear day, a blue sky, in the middle of a busy city.  I could even hear the traffic whizzing below us.  She was leaving the guest list up to me with the only criteria being that those invited had to be people I didn’t know personally and they had to be well respected, accomplished in their field.  An invitation with this woman’s name on it would not be rejected, she assured me, so there was no limit.

My most important, immediate task was creating this list of 7 people that I, as an average person, would value learning from at this particular time in history.  The people had to be real, alive, and not superficial. 

The next thing I remember is sitting behind an old, vintage typewriter.  The room was now very much darker and full of empty shelves, aside from dust.  There was no computer, this list, apparently, had to come from my heart alone.

Feeding the paper through the typewriter and getting it set as I remember doing back in the days before computers and Word, I stared at the white sheet in front of me.  As I stared at the paper suddenly all kinds of names started appearing:  Barack Obama, Deepak Chopra, Paul McCartney, Noam Chomsky, Lily Tomlin, Richard Dawkins, Carole King, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks,  Stephen Colbert, The Dalai Lama,  Gloria Steinem.  I had to narrow this list to seven even as more names were popping into my head…

I don’t know if any of you reading this are old enough to remember that in the old days, when typing on a typewriter, some parts of a letter would be really dark and almost go through the paper.  Everyone with an ‘i’ in their name, the dot was unbelievably dark.  So that left me with Gloria Steinem, The Dalai Lama, Carole King, Richard Dawkins and Lily Tomlin.  My list now had 5 names so I had to narrow the remaining list down to two.  If you know me, then you know that Barack Obama would HAVE to be there.  That left me with Deepak Chopra, Paul McCartey, Noam Chomsky, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks and Stephen Colbert.  Of them, only one could join the dinner.

It was at this point in the dream that I woke up.  I glanced at the clock on my night table to see it was 2:27 am. I was thinking about the names that were so ingrained in my head and felt overwhelmed and kind of chuckled to myself for this weird dream.  I flipped on my back and remember starring at the ceiling.

The next thing I remember, I was back in the dream.  The paper with the names was miraculously still in front of me.  I thought to myself, I have a religious man, a scientist/atheist, a strong politically involved woman, a musician, and a comedian.  I also included President Obama so I had a politician with a background in Constitutional law.  I now had to decide if I wanted an actress, an actor, a philosopher, another amazingly accomplished songwriter, another comedian or a scientist.  I could feel my hands typing, pushing down hard on the round keys of the antique typewriter:   Noam Chomsky.

The next thing I remember is being back in the clean, clear office of the woman with the dark hair and the big window.  She was talking on the phone, (a sleek desk phone, not a cell phone) and she just held out her hand for the list. 

I handed my list to her and in a flash I was sitting in a magnificent room with the most comfortable, cozy, contoured chairs.  Each was exactly the same, situated in a circle and each had it’s own personal table set with a white tablecloth, light blue clothe napkins, and a simple vase with a white chrysanthemum.  The china was white with a delicate blue line.  The room was full of windows and surrounded on all sides by a magnificent garden.  The greens of the outside garden gave the room a beauty that I truly cannot explain.  I remember feeling a bit nervous, as I didn’t know what to do next.  Was I supposed to greet the guests as they entered?  Was I supposed to speak to them?  I looked down and realized I was holding a leather bound book, perhaps the answers to my questions were in the book?  As I opened the cover to look inside the book the room was suddenly full of all the people on my list!  President Obama was sitting right next me; his big smile and warm eyes were taking in the room which was now filled with waitresses and waiters as the aroma of fresh baked breads, and for some reason, cinnamon, filled the air.  Noam Chomsky and Carole King were chatting amicably to my left.  Across from me, the Dalai Lama and Richard Dawkins were in deep discussion while Gloria Steinem and Lily Tomlin were laughing hysterically.

I felt as if I was somehow see-through…as if they were all solid and there but I was transparent.  Food was served on delicate silver trays.  I wish I could remember what the food was, (maybe my current diet is blocking the image from my mind).  The woman who had me arrange this time then entered the room through a crack in the wall.  She glanced around slowly as everyone looked toward her, even though she was in shadow.  Her voice was warm and kind as she expressed to everyone there how welcome they were.  She walked around the interior of the circle of chairs and tables and invited them to share their simplest secret, to share what they apparently already knew.  All their voices came together as one word, ‘ask’, filled the room.  Ask for opinions, ask for help, ask for guidance, and ask for the truth.  She then looked at me and suddenly I wasn’t transparent anymore.

With that, I woke up.  I have no idea what or who I am supposed to ask.  But I feel compelled to find out, so I am just putting the asking out there.

I suppose this dream will fade in time, but the task is reverberating in my head.  I guess this blog is not the same as most of my others, but it is just so strong in my own thinking today that I wanted to write it down.  Perhaps one of the things I am asking for is your indulgence in helping me think about all those I invited to this meal.  All are people I admire greatly.  All are people, including the bigger list, of personalities I would love to meet and have an in-depth discussion with about the world and how to work to make it a nicer, safer place.  I suppose it would be my dream to have these people assemble to work out the problems and lessen the hate.  

I hope you ask for and receive all your fondest dreams.