“Well-being is a balanced state of mind and body that
you feel subjectively as contentment, peace of mind and emotional freedom.” – Deepak Chopra
As I write this, it is the early
morning of New Year’s Eve. New Year’s has always been a bit of a
daunting time for me. I never enjoyed
New Year’s Eve as there was always not only a feeling of pressure to have a
GREAT time, but also a feeling that the year gone by did not hold the
accomplishments I had hoped for. A
fine time just doesn’t cut it on New Year’s. Everyone has to be ringing in the New Year with amazing
food, great friends, and a huge party!
You turn on the television and all they talk about is the biggest party
of all in Times Square! Everyone
is dressed up, everyone is singing, kissing, dancing, partying ~ oy the
pressure!!
This year has been a year of
change and growing pains. Yes,
even those of us in our 50’s have growing pains. My daughter has moved in with her boyfriend and my son, who
moved away for school last year, has passed his candidacy exam and is now a PhD
candidate, big changes and huge accomplishments for them, which make me proud
and happy. But these changes also
point to the fact that my years of being Mom as opposed to Mommy are here. This is a good thing, it is how it is
supposed to be, but that doesn’t mean it is easy or comes without adjustment.
My house is way too big now. Everywhere I look there is a room to be
cleaned that no one needs. I know
this is probably what some would call a frivolous complaint, but it serves as a
constant reminder of where I was, not where I am going. Of course there are times when I feel
wistful about days gone by when the house was full of noise and toys and action;
but time moves on. And now it’s
time that I do, too.
All this brings me to the title of
this little blog, the importance of well-being. I’ve read about well being this morning thanks to the quote
above from Deepak Chopra, a quote I just happened to come across. Well-being doesn’t mean that all things
are going just great and that there is no turmoil, angst or aggravation in your
life. No, well being means that
despite the turmoil and aggravation a sense of calm and feeling centered helps
anchor your inner peace and allows you to function with clarity. Our brains do more than allow us to
interact with the world around us, our brains, in a sense, CREATE the world
around us. Our own interpretations
of what we see and our reactions to what we feel are unique. My goal, in this coming year, is a big
one. It’s probably the biggest
goal I have ever set for myself.
My goal for this year is to have my brain create a positive world.
Throughout my life I have always
looked ahead and tried to visualize what was going to go wrong so I could take
steps now to prevent whatever it was I was imagining. If I were imagining being attacked or getting lost by going
someplace different, I just wouldn’t go.
If I was threatened by trying something new, thinking it would make me
sick, or fail, I would make every excuse to weasel out of it, to not try that
“new” thing, thereby guaranteeing the failure I was so afraid of seeing! What good is that??
It’s going to be extremely
difficult for me as I am definitely conditioned to only think about awful,
horrific, terrible things that could happen. I don’t know why my brain goes to these awful places and
creates this world of monsters, but it does and it has to stop. These worries take hold in my thoughts
and instead of realizing that they are imaginary, they cause angst and worry,
anxiety and fear – they cause a paralysis of being. It’s been my way of existing but deep down I know it doesn’t
work – it doesn’t even keep bad things from happening, instead, it keeps good
things from happening! The
anxieties leak out to those around me, to those I hold most dear, to those I am
trying to protect and to those I love more than anything else on this earth. I don’t want them to hold the same
anxiety and worry that I do. Maybe
that’s part of it, I feel that if I worry enough for all of us there is no need
for them to worry. I can shield
them. I try to take a burden off
them, but it is a burden that they don’t necessarily carry – it is in my head,
not theirs! And when they then see
and feel the load I am carrying, in a way, I am transferring that load to them
- a load they never needed to hold!
So, back to well being, the well
being that Deepak Chopra referred to in the quote I read this morning. Well-being is similar to the NOW that
Eckert Tolle speaks about. Right
now is all we have. Right now is
all we ever live, our lives are made up of nows. Feeling at ease and at one
with the reality of now, without thinking about the next minute or the next
hour and the “what-ifs” that come with that time, that ease of the now is like
a calming breath. We can’t fight
the now; it just wastes energy and emotion, we have to live in it. The reality of this moment is all there
ever is. I believe it was George
Harrison that said, “be here now”.
Right now it is the morning of New
Year’s Eve. The year 2012 will
soon be history and the year 2013 will soon be welcomed. But, at this moment, it is simply
an early morning that I have time, time to relish and enjoy. In reality, the hopes and plans, the
thoughts and concerns for the year ahead are all just moving pictures in my
head. Since they are imaginary,
why imagine a world of doom and disaster, why in the world would I want to
create that? It may have taken me to the age of 54 to realize that every moment
is important. We all have our own
hopes and dreams - the power of our thoughts, and that vibrant energy is vital
and creative. My promise to myself
is to try to limit and catch myself when creating a world that is not positive
and happy. Since I want positive,
happy things to exist for myself, for those I love, and for everyone – since
compassion and thoughtfulness is what I want to exist, it is what I will strive
to feel. I am going to try to live in the now instead of looking past it to the
fears of tomorrow.
Here’s to a New Year’s Eve morning
filled with good, hot coffee and a healthy dose of well being for all.
May your New Year be bright and
your dreams thrive!
