Tuesday, January 31, 2012

AdSense is Nonsense



Just a quick little blog this morning as I am running out of the house soon, but need to express my annoyance and frustration. 

Since I am only working outside the home part-time these days, I spend my free time working at my writing both on this blog and with a children’s book.  It is my hope to soon be able to earn money doing what I love, writing.  I was excited when I recently learned that my blog could be monetized.  An application called AdSense was only a click away! Through Adsense, advertisements would appear on my blog and when someone clicked the ad, I would receive a very small amount of money.  From where I sit, any income is good income, and so I allowed the ads to appear.

The fact that you are reading this article means you are obviously someone who follows AWomansRoom.blogspot.com.  I thank you and sincerely hope you enjoy visiting and reading my stories.  You will note that on this site I NEVER instructed anyone to click on the ads, never told anyone here that I could earn money through the clicks…in other words, I in no way encouraged fraudulent ad clicking.

The ads were obvious and some of my friends called to ask me why they suddenly appeared.  I did not lie to them, I told them the story, but I also told them there were security measures in place and to only click ads that interested them. That was the end of any discussions on that topic.

Google AdSense made it clear that clicking for the purpose of increasing income would not be tolerated.  They stated that the decisions regarding what qualified as improper clicking rested solely under their discretion and they had absolutely no responsibility to elaborate on their choice once a decision was made. Google Adsense  went on to instruct that no money would be paid until the blog reached the $100.00 threshold. 

I reached that threshold on Saturday and was promptly informed, on Saturday afternoon that my blog was disqualified for receiving funds due to invalid clicking.

This is bogus.

At first I was truly disappointed and took the decision personally although I knew, for certain, that I had not encouraged indiscriminate clicking by anyone.  I wondered why there was never a note expressing some type of warning as to any improper clicking PRIOR to their decision NOT to pay.  Perhaps they could have emailed me when I reached the $30 or $40 mark, in which case I could have looked into the matter…

After mulling it over in my head for a chunk of Saturday afternoon, I did a quick search on the Internet to see if anyone else encountered my situation.  It didn’t take long to find many articles by bloggers like myself.  A Wikipedia article clearly illustrated I was not alone; that most bloggers who take advantage of Adsense quickly learn their blog is disqualified once they reach the $100 mark.  So, advertisers get their ads viewed, Google must make money from them even if they do not make money per click, only the blogger is left out in the cold.

For the most part, I have tried to make this blog a positive place, but the actions taken by Google Adsense have prompted me to expose their tactics.  If they close this blog, if they are opposed to free speech, I will send notifications on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn on where to find me.

I thoroughly enjoy writing my blog and have received wonderful feedback.  It would have been nice to earn a few extra dollars doing something I loved, but I will continue to write with or without the added income.  The money involved was not enough to worry about; which makes me wonder even more why Google would be so quick to take such actions. 

I hope you all enjoy a very rewarding day.  Thanks again for reading AWomansRoom.blogspot.com!


Friday, January 27, 2012

Okay, Jokes Over!!



A few short weeks ago our dishwasher’s heating element wouldn’t shut off and we were forced to buy a replacement dishwasher.  We rationalized the entire event, thinking it was even lucky (aside from the cost and aggravation) because we averted a fire.  The dishwasher was delivered right on time.  But, during the installation we learned the job could not be completed in that one visit because we have granite countertops.  Apparently, the dishwasher needs to be anchored into the counter, since granite is too strong; the dishwasher needed side anchors, which the installers did not have on the truck.  So, for the first week, we could use the dishwasher, but very gingerly.  We couldn’t bring the shelves all the way out or the washer would tip; not a pleasant option.

Slightly aggravated and disappointed, I set up another day for installation after ordering the necessary part, which naturally cost an additional $30!  The second installation was three days ago.  Thankfully, my husband was able to come home from work early and the job was done.  Whew!  Crisis over, now we could relax!

The next night, we were doing just that relaxing, watching television, chatting, when we decided to throw a load of towels in the washing machine.  Big mistake!!  About a half hour later, the walls of the living room started shaking so hard that a huge picture over the sofa almost fell onto the soft cushion.  A loud “ba BOOM ba, ba BOOM ba, ba BOOM ba sound reverberated through the house!  It was absolutely deafening!  We ran, with truly surprising speed, down to the laundry room…the washer was smacking from side to side, bashing into the dryer, then the laundry tub, pulling away from the wall!  The hose was being stretched and was about to pull out which would have then spewed amazing amounts of liquid all over the place!  My husband turned the dial to off, but the washer refused to abide by the command…ba BOOM ba, it screamed back at us as it continued to jerk and spasm!! My husband jumped on top of the bucking washer and yanked the plug out of the wall! 

Silence…

After we each caught our breath, he jumped down from the washer and opened the lid.  We peered inside the drum like two lunatic detectives searching for a clue as to what in the world had just happened!

Pieces from the inside of the washer were lying in the lip that the lid rests on.  The agitator seemed disconnected.  Luckily, the washer was not full of water as it broke during the spin cycle, but the towels were still soaking wet.  We looked at each other with disbelief; another appliance bit the dust!  How could that be?

We twisted each towel as hard as we could into the laundry tub, the cold water freezing our hands.  We loaded the dryer with the towels and disgustedly climbed the stairs and reluctantly scoured the Internet for a good deal on a new washer.


The new washer was installed today...three days after the final installation of the new dishwasher!  Even the installers were surprised to be back so soon! My husband and I just ran the first load of laundry in this shiny new machine with the lovely blue dials.  So far, everything is running as it should. But, to be on the safe side, I think we'll bring in dinner tonight.  It's probably wise to put off using the oven for at least another day!! 


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A Life to Live By



Some blogs write themselves.  I close my eyes and when I open them again, the words are magically on the page.  This morning is a bit more difficult as it is the seventh anniversary of the day my nephew, Scott, passed away.  But, if you were lucky enough to know and/or love Scott, as I am, you would know he would not want the day to be filled with sadness.  That wasn’t him!  Scott was full of fun and life and big smiles and entertainment.  He was always ready and more than able to make you laugh – really, honestly, strongly, belly-laugh.  Scott could always lift your spirits and make you forget your troubles!  So, as his proud Aunt, I will carry on this blog today in Scott’s memory.  It will be a blog of life and hope for the love and smiles that he left to us every single day!

Scott completed a full-length movie, a remarkable feat.  The movie was amazingly profound and well beyond the usual understanding of life for someone his age at the time.  In the movie, he professes that one of the deepest meanings of life is “T.R.U.T.H. – To Really Understand The Harmony”.  How profound is that?!  Life is best when you are in harmony with it.  When the ups and downs reflect the truth and honesty of your feelings and when you are able to go with the flow.  The harmony of day and night, good and evil, rich and poor, and even health and sickness; Scott understood that a powerful, full life encompasses all of these things.   The fact that he understood it at such an early age and was also able to articulate it through his craft is beyond astounding. 

When I think of Scott, I think of happiness.  There was a time when my Mom and I were babysitting for him; he couldn’t have been more than 3 or 4 years old.  We tried to put him in the front seat of the shopping cart, but that was not even remotely what he had in mind.  He stood strong and powerful in the big portion of the cart, where the food is usually placed, as we carefully maneuvered through they aisles.  Proudly and adamantly, he held his right arm up high in the air and with great power and animation he sang “Pizza A One”!!  (At the time, there was an advertisement on television for Celeste frozen pizza, and he captured it almost exactly, except that the real words were Pizza For One!)  As we went through the aisles, he spread more smiles than you can imagine.  Heads turned and he made an ordinary shopping experience into a special memory for everyone in the store that day! I carry a mental picture of that time in my head and if Apple would make it possible for mental pictures to transfer to YouTube, it would get a million hits!

But, that was Scott!  Always bringing happiness to everyone, always sharing his love. 

In Scott’s honor and memory, I wish everyone a day filled with smiles.  It’s what he would have wished for each and every one of you.  But, along with those smiles, let his TRUTH live in your heart.  Let his understanding of that harmony - that it is best when all aspects of life are brought together make your life richer. With all of us singing in our own unique voices, let's sing out strong; harmonizing all the differences in life that blend together to make a better, richer, more interesting whole.  All through your life, stand up proudly in your cart of life as it rolls along, just as Scott did, and sing your own personal melody strong and with a gigantic smile!  


Scott would love that.


As found and perfectly stated on Imdb:  "Scott's movie, Shooting God, was based on the true story of Scott's older brother, Joel, who lost his battle with cancer, but inspired Scott to make the most of life. After accomplishing his dream of finishing the film, Scott was taken by cancer in 2005."

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Second Interview with William Bertram MacFarland, author of "Back Channel"



Since my initial interview with William Bertram MacFarland, (Bertie Mac), follow-up questions have been coming in to AWomansRoom.blogspot.com regarding when the second volume of the series was to be released.  Because of this, I contacted Bertie and he was kind enough to answer some additional questions. My original interview with Bertie took place after I first read “Back Channel – The Kennedy Years”, an amazing story of an amazing man during a very pivotal time in our nation’s history.  Back Channel is a fast reading, attention-grabbing novel – one that changed my perspective on many things including, but not limited to how to view information fed to us by the media.

Bertie’s website, www.bertiemac.com is an informative source regarding Bertie Mac and the important role he filled during historic events over many decades.  A visit to his website is highly encouraged.

I hope you not only enjoy this next interview, but also feel free to continue to contact me with any questions or comments you have about the book and/or its author.  Bertie would truly appreciate any and all questions and comments by those interested.

Enjoy the interview~

~

A Woman’s Room:  Bertie, thanks so much for agreeing to another interview!  Our first interview received such a positive response that when I heard you were working on the second book, I was very excited to talk with you about it!  For those of you who many have missed the first interview, it may be found at: http://awomansroom.blogspot.com/2011/10/interview-with-william-bertram.html.

I’m excited that you have agreed to give us a tiny sneak preview of the second book in the ‘Back Channel’ series.  You ended ‘Back Channel -Book One: The Kennedy Years’ with a true cliff hanger when you were in the airport in Washington, DC, on your return flight from Italy, and an agent of the Secret Service told you, “President Johnson wants to see you right away, sir”.  What happened after that?

Bertie:  Well, I don’t want to give away too much, but the second book starts with that meeting with Johnson, recounts my resistance to President Johnson’s insistence that I work with the Department of Defense’s Planning Department, continues with my eventual move to Switzerland and some very interesting events that transpired both before and after that move.  I confess that recounting these events is much more difficult that I had ever imagined when I set out to write my memoirs.  In fact, if I had realized how painful it was going to be to dredge out – and re-live – all these things, I might not have had the courage to embark on this journey.  The good news is that the more I write, the more I’m sure that I’m doing the right thing.  The American public really should be aware of what happens in the pressure-cooker that is called the White House.  They need to know how the Vietnam war really got started, how and why Watergate happened, how and why the death of Chile’s President Salvadore Allende happened, and they need to know the real facts about Iran-Contra, etc., etc.  We desperately need more transparency – and more honesty – from our government.  Although I’m not personally religious, for more than five decades I have been an avid student of comparative religions and the astonishingly beautiful insights in the writings associated with religions ranging from Ayyavazhi to Zoroastrianism.  The one I’m thinking about here however is from the Christian bible in John 8:32 when it says something like, “And then ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

A Woman’s Room:  What do you mean when you say people need to know how the Vietnam War really got started?

Bertie:  It’s an immensely tragic but fascinating story.   Today, the truth about the triggering ‘event’ is public knowledge – or perhaps I should say the facts are in the public domain even though it’s startling (and dismaying) to discover how few people are really knowledgeable about it.  If there were any organization in Washington that is more secretive than the CIA, it would be the National Security Agency, the NSA.  In 1998, the NSA’s own internal historian wrote a very erudite and detailed study of the origin of the Vietnam War and it was published in the Winter 2000/Spring 2001 edition of NSA’s Top Secret internal quarterly publication, Cryptologic Quarterly.  At that time, the few people outside the NSA who knew the real facts were strictly prohibited from disseminating the information and besides that, they could never have had the full access to all of NSA’s Top Secret files that the agency’s own historian did.  Word somehow got out about the existence of this study and in 2002, there was considerable pressure on NSA to make it public.  NSA refused because it was afraid that ‘uncomfortable comparisons’ regarding faulty intelligence reports might be made with the coming invasion of Iraq based on Iraq’s possession of Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Those weapons of course just weren’t there.  Similarly, the ‘outrageous attack’ on American ships by the North Vietnam Navy – and used by Johnson as the pretext for war -simply never happened.   In Vietnam more than 12 million people were killed or wounded.  58,000 of the killed and 303,000 of the wounded were Americans.  Iraq is much less clear.  Official U.S. figures are 4,404 American deaths and 31,827 wounded.  Estimates for Iraqi deaths range all over the place – from a little more than 110,000 to just over 1,000,000.   Whatever the real number is, it is appalling.  I don’t know how everybody else feels about this but I personally would feel a lot more comfortable if war could only be declared by an act of Congress.  It won’t solve the problem of old men sending young men to war but at least it would take a whole lot more old men.

A Woman’s Room:  As you write, are you uncovering more parallels between the events in the mid to late 60’s and the events of today?

Bertie:  Oh yes.  In fact sometimes I feel a little like I’m writing in some sort of weird Twilight Zone time warp.  It just doesn’t seem possible that we are doing the same dumb things over and over again.  The cost to our country for these never-ending wars is not only the immense cost of lives and treasure.  I fear that we as a nation are beginning to lose our way morally and ethically.  We used to be the ‘shining city on the hill.’  It pains me to see how badly we are slipping from that moral high ground.  Reputations for courage, honesty, decency and fairness take a very, very long time to build up but they can be lost appallingly quickly.

A Woman’s Room:  Is that a general observation or do you have something specific in mind?

Bertie:  Both, actually...  The specific thing I have in mind is torture by the U.S. military/CIA.  As readers of my first book know, I was betrayed by my own government and turned over to the Soviet KGB for torture in their infamous Lubyanka prison in Moscow.  But few people are aware of the fact that our own government has a highly developed and long history of officially sanctioned torture.  We could start at a much earlier date, but in WWII, to get around the Geneva Conventions on the treatment of POW’s, Eisenhower had them re-classified as ‘Disarmed Enemy Combatants’ in order to deny them food.  We had a pretty robust program in Korea but our super-secret Phoenix program in Vietnam has been called "the most indiscriminate and massive program of political murder since the Nazi death camps of World War II."  A Congressional Committee headed by Senator Frank Church determined that “over 20,000” Viet Cong, North Vietnamese and Cambodian (yes, we were there too) prisoners were murdered.  From the documents that I have examined, the number was way more than 20,000.  Horrifyingly enough, the ones that died might have been, in some ways, the more fortunate ones but I don’t want to get into that here.  The thing that is immensely troubling to me is that our torture program is being robustly continued even as you read this.  Abu Ghraib was shut down only because some of the military torturers sent pictures to their friends and some of those pictures got leaked.  (Who can forget those pictures?)  You would simply not believe the several hundred additional pictures that the Obama administration refused (probably rightly) to release.  They are even more soul shattering.  It is simply staggering to realize that these laughing people are uniformed members of the American military.  Though Abu Ghraib is gone, Guantanamo is very much alive and well and what goes on there is just as horrifying.  The wonderful documentary Torturing Democracy, financed in part by the Ford Foundation and other such entities and discussed on PBS by Bill Moyers can be viewed for free on-line.  You have to see it to believe it.

A Woman’s Room:  Bertie, are you comfortable with revealing all this information?

Bertie:  No.  I’m very uncomfortable but I believe it has to be done.  I freely confess that I have some real worries about my own safety – particularly as this series advances closer and closer to what’s going on today.  People in power play rough – look what the Bush/Cheney administration tried to do to Valerie Plame.  She was finally ‘exonerated’ – not that she did anything wrong to begin with – but the constant attempts at character assassination on her – and her husband – must have been dreadful to endure.  I’m afraid of that and of much more permanent attacks.  Believe me, if they decide to do it, there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

A Woman’s Room:  But don’t you have all those highly classified documents – your so-called ‘insurance policy’ - that will protect you?

Bertie:  Yes, but as I grow older I’m starting to have some questions.  For those that haven’t read my first book, the ‘insurance policy’ referred to is a collection of highly classified documents that I have accumulated over my 50 years of government service.  Some of the older documents are now declassified but I challenge you to actually find them.  They may be old but they will shake you.  The whole collection is stored in a Western European bank’s safety deposit box, the key to which is held by a well-known and internationally respected law firm in that country.  Should I, or any of the other people on a short list that I have provided to them, die in a suspicious manner, the law firm will launch an investigation.  If, in their sole discretion, they determine that the death was neither natural nor accidental, their instructions are to release photocopies of the entire file to every major newspaper and media outlet in the entire world.  Given that the documents are indisputably authentic, there’s no hope for the ‘Valerie Plame’ attack.  I really don’t want this release to happen for two reasons.  First and foremost, it would be incredibly damaging to the United States as a whole.  Yes, everybody knows that there are exceptionally few people who always and in every circumstance tell the truth – and that the probability that one of that select group is also in a high government position is next to zero.  I don’t think the American public is going to be quite ready for the serial duplicity and outright lies told to them personally and to our ‘trusted allies’ over a period of more than 50 years by every administration from JFK to GWB.  It’s incredibly tawdry and deeply shocking.  The other point is that such a release would be in retaliation for my death.  I’d far rather have a means of preventing it.

A Woman’s Room:  How could you do that?

Bertie:  If I can get enough people reading and following my books I’m hoping that I will be enough of a ‘public figure’ whose sudden death would generate too many ‘uncomfortable questions.’  It’s hard to get to that status because I couldn’t get a traditional publisher to publish my book and the publicist that I hired quit and sent me my money back after he had read the book.  He was too frightened by it.  So it’s hard getting the word out. But, so far, everyone who has read the book says they really liked it and can’t wait for the second book to come out.  I hope your readers will order a copy from amazon.com (it’s available either in print or as an eBook) and spread the word to their friends.  There’s one other thing I would ask your readers to do.  Get involved in my Facebook group called “Saving Democracy.”  It’s a wonderful place to discuss the issues of the day.  Anybody can join and the only rule is that of unfailing courtesy and comity.  The first time there is a nasty comment or personal attack, you will receive a warning.  Two strikes and you’re out.  Join and contribute!

A Woman’s Room:  Bertie, as always, it’s truly interesting to discuss your books and your life with you via the Internet.  I appreciate the time you took to answer my questions so thoroughly.  Hopefully, I will have more questions for you from readers of AWomansRoom.blogspot.com.  Perhaps we can talk again when the second in the series of “Back Channel” books is released?  I’ll look forward to hearing from you again in the near future.

Bertie:  Thanks so much and thanks for having me.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Life Affirming Humor in an Odd Situation!



Last Saturday my husband and I spent the afternoon with my in-laws.  I recently wrote a blog about my in-laws and all of our experiences surrounding my mother in law’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis.  Since the time of that blog, unfortunately, my mother-in-law’s condition has deteriorated.  She now becomes completely confused at times, disoriented, and they are encountering issues with her cooking, a task she is now truly incapable of performing.  The fire department has already been dispatched to their new apartment twice.

Because of this, my husband and I are not only obviously worried about the safety of my in-laws and all of the elderly living in their building, we also have concerns about their nutrition.  We instructed my father-in-law to remove the knobs from their stove so she can no longer use it.  We also told him how vital it is that she be watched constantly.  This, however, brings us all to a new level of concern with their independent living ability, and their ability to eat.  My father-in-law is old school and does not know how to scramble an egg. I wanted to teach him but he doesn’t want to hurt my mother-in-law’s feelings so he refuses to learn.

This brings me back to last Saturday.  We started the day by taking them to lunch at a wonderful little pizza place near their new apartment; a neighborhood establishment that they can go to on their own.  All the ingredients used at 'Jules' are organic and wholesome, while at the same time, truly inexpensive.  They provide water for free and since you choose your pizza at the counter, there is no tipping required.  A great way to not only go out to eat on a budget but also eat healthy since many of the toppings are vegetables!

After lunch, we took them food shopping in order to show my father-in-law the many things available that do not require real “cooking”.  We showed him items found in the frozen food section which may be cooked in the microwave, we pointed out the advantages of cold cereal, instant oatmeal, waffles that heat in the toaster, cold cuts, nutritious bread, and we taught him how to make hot dogs, which he loves, in the microwave. 

After food shopping, we returned to their apartment building, and that is where I viewed a great, life-affirming, hilarious situation!   My husband was parking the car and I was walking up to the apartment with my in-laws.  The hallways are long and wide enough for two people to walk side-by-side easily.  However, my father-in-law was zooming ahead with his walker – he really moves with that thing!  My mother-in-law and I were strolling not too quickly about 20 feet behind him, she leaning on her cane and favoring a toe that was throbbing. 

An elderly woman in a scooter was blocking the hallway as she was speaking with another elderly woman who had the door open to her apartment.  They were chatting away, oblivious to the traffic jam the scooter was causing.  My father-in-law could not get by with his walker and so he nicely said, “Mind if I wiggle by?” to the woman.  That was when they both looked over and noticed him.  (They did not notice my mother-in-law and I still way behind him.)

The woman in the scooter gave him a sly look and said, “You can wiggle by us anytime”!  The woman in the doorway agreed and added, “We like to watch you wiggle!” 

I was floored! I tried not to laugh, but it was simply hysterical and uplifting at the same time!  Here were two women who had to be in their late 80’s flirting with a man “zooming” using his walker!

My mother-in-law didn’t notice the exchange and I didn’t mention it to her.  The women did finally notice us; the woman in the doorway blushed profusely when our eyes met.  I just smiled.

On the ride home, I told my husband what happened in the hallway and he was shocked!  His reaction made me laugh!

Life is to be lived and enjoyed and I applaud these women for their spunk!  My father-in-law was oblivious to their remarks as he is trying so hard just to hold things together.  But the women proved to me that where there’s life, there’s hope.  That we may age, if we’re lucky, but we don’t have to get old.

So, go out there and enjoy!  If you’re young, appreciate it.  If you’re healthy, no matter what your age, revel in it! 

Hope your day is full of life and happy experiences, even in the oddest of circumstances...maybe especially in the oddest of circumstances!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Oppose SOPA



O nly we the
P eople have the power and conviction to let them know.
P lease call your congressional representative to
O PPOSE
S OPA
E veryone!

S imply speaking, we must
O ppose SOPA, for it
P retends to protect from piracy when in reality it is simply
A gainst freedom of speech and expression.






Call your Congressional Representatives Today!

Monday, January 16, 2012

No Dishwasher!!



Some have said I have asbestos hands because I can handle fairly hot items and not flinch.  This ability allows me to carry bowls of steaming hot soup or vegetables to the table, wash pots and pans, and unload the dishwasher after its cycles are complete without much thought.  That is why it seemed so odd to me last week when I began unloading the dishwasher and found my dishes were EXTREMELY hot!  The dishes were so hot that I actually dropped a bowl right back into the top rack of the dishwasher immediately after picking it up!  The dishwasher had finished running about a half hour before I began unloading it, yet the intense heat still seared my through my hands!

Although I found it strange, I simply put the dishes away, preparing myself for the heat of each plate and glass as I cautiously picked it up.  With quickness and direction each dish went directly into its proper place in the cabinet. Once emptied, I closed the dishwasher door and joined the rest of my family in the den to watch “Midnight in Paris”, not a second thought was given to the dishwasher.

During the movie we snacked on some popcorn and cheese and crackers.  It was a truly excellent movie so not too much eating took place since we were engrossed in the picture.  Our recent visit to Paris made the location of the film even more relevant and meaningful, as the beauty of Paris cannot be overstated.  The fireplace was blazing giving off a warming glow and the time passed extremely quickly.

After the movie was over, I brought the dishes we had used to snack on back to the kitchen.  I needed to wash some and place others in the dishwasher before going to bed.  I am not immaculate by any stretch of the imagination, but I simply can’t go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink.  That is when I noticed the counter and the side of the cabinet next to the dishwasher felt extremely warm.  I opened the dishwasher - a whoosh of steam hit me in the face.  Alarmed, I checked the control panel and found the dishwasher SHOULD not have been hot as everything was technically off!!  But, for some reason, the heating element was going full blast!  It is amazing the plates in the dishwasher hadn't smashed to smithereens from the intense heat!

My family had already gone to bed so I left the door to the dishwasher open and with great control (not), I shrieked frantically up to my husband to come downstairs immediately!!

Since he couldn’t turn the dishwasher off, as it technically was not on, he went into the basement and shut the breaker.  Luckily, we avoided a fire in the house, unluckily; we needed to buy a new dishwasher.  It certainly seems nothing is built to last anymore.

It is now over a week since I have been dishwasherless…(is that a word?).  I have used a ton of paper plates and cups, but there is still a lot to wash.  The downside to this is obvious, no one happily anticipates washing dishes.  The upside, however, is also there.  First of all, there is no unloading the dishwasher…a task that I find annoying at best.  But even more, there is the time spent washing the dishes.  Yes, I said the time spent washing dishes!!  The warm water cascades over my hands and I find my mind wanders in all sorts of directions, most of them calming for some reason.  The sound of the water, the realization that I am accomplishing something from start to finish, the act of completing the task takes my mind off pretty much anything else going on at the time.  It’s a break from thought and I find it to be almost meditative.  Maybe because I am a Pisces, I am a water person.  From cruising to floating in the pool, to the sound of the water flowing out from the faucet, water calms my thoughts

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have been lucky in that the dishwasher chose to break at a very convenient time.  There are no large dinners coming up and each meal I’ve cooked has purposely not consisted of an extreme amount of pots, pans and dishes.  Aside from the pots and pans used, which I always wash by hand, there are usually only a few pieces of silverware and perhaps a bowl or two to wash after any meal.  I would not want to be “dishwasherless” and host a huge party…that much cascading water and dish washing would be hand-chapping along with a bit tedious and frustrating.

So although I have found the time washing dishes definitely has an upside, I realize it is an upside simply because I know it is temporary. 

The new dishwasher should arrive on Wednesday.  I will welcome it with open arms - and dry hands!


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Small Actions, Unexpected Results

(Popcorn taking a nap)

It’s nasty outside.  The rain has been coming down since last night and, according to all weather reports, it will continue through this evening.  We are lucky that it is not snow, after all, it’s January, but the cold chilly dampness is seeping into everything.  As I am sitting here typing I have a throw blanket across my legs.  The house just won’t warm up.  There are snow showers predicted for this weekend and that reality makes me feel extremely thankful we enjoyed the wonderful weather we did last weekend for my nephew’s wedding.

I am scheduled to be at work much later than normal today due to inventory.  Because of this, I have the day to accomplish things around the house and relax with my daughter.  I am looking forward to spending the day this way and am very happy I don’t have to go out in this rain yet.   

Life definitely has its ups and downs.  When I think about all the things that have happened that have brought me to this point in my life, I am amazed at how unexpected results have emerged out of the most insignificant seeming decisions.  For one tiny example, I look at my dog, Popcorn.  I always had a Maltese from the time I was small.  I love the look, the actions, the cuddles and the happiness a little Maltese offers.  When I was first married, before my husband and I had children, we bought a cute little mutt, a yorkie/poodle mixture that was adorable.  Pumpkin was a happy dog and she lived a good life until the very end.  She was loved. 

It just so happens that when Pumpkin passed away, I had become very good friends with a lovely woman, Beth, who I met at the swim club, a club we only belonged to for a short time before building our own pool.  Our fast growing relationship brought lots of smiles, although the friendship only remained close for that one summer, that one brief moment in time.  All things considered, that timing was perfect.  Beth happened to own a Maltese dog that had just given birth to a litter of puppies.  Amazing.  Whoever would have thought joining a swim club would have brought our family to buying a dog?!

My husband and I had decided, after Pumpkin was no longer with us, that we would take a little break before purchasing another dog.  What is it they say about best-made plans? 

One day at the pool, Beth mentioned that she still had some puppies that she needed to find homes for, Maltese PUPPIES!!  I mentioned it to my husband and he was not completely against going to see the puppies.  I knew it was a done deal.

The four of us, my daughter, son, husband and myself got in the car and took the five-minute drive to see the puppies.  If you’ve never seen seven adorable, fluffy white balls of fur playing happily, you’ve definitely missed something special.  The puppies were mostly placed in a baby’s playpen for their own safety since they were so small.  We had absolute visions of only considering a female dog, since that was the only dog my husband and I had ever enjoyed.  We often heard horror stories of male dogs going to the bathroom on everything in the house…every sofa leg, every chair, everything!

There was one female puppy still available.  She was so cute, sitting quietly on the soft, cushiony pillow covered with pictures of dog bones.  Pictures that appeared bigger than she was!  We tried to play with her, but she wasn’t interested.  Meanwhile, a male puppy, Mr. Piggy was his name at the time, kept coming over to us. He was happy, jumpy, just too cute for words, but we kept pushing him away trying to get the female Maltese to look our way.

After about twenty minutes, Mr. Piggy kept coming at us.  I thought he was going to put on a top hat and dance with a cane trying to gain our attention.  I remember looking at my children and husband and it was as if a light bulb went off in all our heads at that same time.  Mr. Piggy it was.  HE was the puppy we were meant to adopt.

It is now fourteen years later.  Fourteen years that Popcorn, alias Mr. Piggy, has been a star member of our family.  After that summer, so many years ago, Beth and my friendship was sidetracked by life taking us in opposite directions.  Although I will always think of her fondly, for whatever reason, we were only ‘friends’ that one summer.  Fate?  Perhaps.  But, isn’t that how life works?

Had Pumpkin not passed away at that particular time, had I not known Beth at that same time, had we never joined the swim club, none of this would have happened.  Popcorn would have lived with another family and who knows if we ever would have purchased another dog?  How different would my children’s’ lives have been without such a good friend always close at hand?

I suppose all this is just to say that we never know what is in the works, what one small decision such as picking a particular table at a swim club could lead toward.  We will never know how one set of unrelated circumstances will lead us to a new, happy, previously unplanned outcome. 

Life is in motion, constant, unrelenting, motion.  As the saying goes, go with the flow…anything else is just a waste of energy and a source of frustration and aggravation.  Where we are now is where we are supposed to be, and the smallest of coincidences can lead to great results if we are just open to them.

So, be open to where life takes you today and make it a happy day!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

My Nephew's Wedding


Who would have dared to imagine the beauty and the warmth of this particular January weekend?  My nephew’s wedding was held in Long Island, New York.  For about half of those attending, travel was involved and was a definite concern ahead of time.   January is usually very cold, possibly snowy or worse, icy, and usually very unpleasant in the Northeast; but this weekend was amazing.   The sun was strong and bright and the skies were clear.  It was as beautiful as January can be and the wedding followed that lead!

The parents of the groom, my brother and his wife, live in Florida, so we are not physically together as often as we would like.  After a fun, thankfully uneventful, family drive, we checked into the hotel and the excitement of being with everyone set in!  After quickly unpacking so our evening clothes would not wrinkle, we ventured down to the lobby.  The elevator doors opened and as we rounded the corner to the lobby, which was comfortably arranged with deep sofas, chairs and (unfortunately since we are Flyer fans) a constant reply of a Rangers game, I saw my brother walking towards us!  He looked wonderful! Excitement and pride filled his expression, it was a look I truly enjoy seeing on him!  We hugged tightly.

After a delicious lunch filled with wonderful food and even more wonderful conversation as more and more family arrived, we adjourned to our rooms to ‘get ready’ for the wedding!

The wedding and reception were held a short drive from the hotel.  With GPS guidance we pulled into the driveway of a building still warmly lit with beautiful holiday lights.  The structure looked straight out of a storybook.  The entryway led to a lovely chapel adorned with white, cushioned chairs and tea lights.  The soft glow was perfect and as more and more family entered, you could feel the love circulating.  The energy was palpable and the smiles reflected the feeling.

Soft music played as my handsome nephew stood with his best man at the front of the room.  Before long, after being preceded by grandmothers, a maid of honor and my brother and his wife, the bride and her dad walked down the aisle.  My nephew’s eyes smiled with a look of love and happiness.  The bride’s brother had recently become eligible to perform the ceremony just for this special occasion. There were apparently references to the television show, “LOST”, which went over my head as I never watched the series.  (When the bride’s brother referenced an island, I thought he was referring to Long Island, where we were!)  But, the ceremony was lovely and the chapel was filled with smiles when the happy couple were pronounced “Husband and Wife”! 

The reception began with a cocktail hour that offered enough food for ten affairs!  Aside from the tantalizing hors d’oeuvres that were offered by numerous waiters, there was a carving station, chicken marsala, pasta, beef wellington, fruit, cheeses, lentil salads…. I could go on and on!  Suffice it to say, it was both bountiful and beautiful! (And delicious!)

At the conclusion of the cocktail hour, we entered a beautifully lit room filled with white linen. The crystal and tea lit centerpieces provided a perfect atmosphere, a special, soft glow that illuminated the feeling of love in the room.  From salad through wedding cake the meal was beyond amazing.  The band played, the singers welcomed dancing and we certainly answered the call!  By the end of the evening, my feet were throbbing, but my heart was happy.   It had been a lovely affair. 

The wedding was perfect.  The bride and groom were visibly, deeply happy.  The mood of the affair was happy and loving with a delightful energy all its own.  Being with my family, both immediate and slightly expanded was magical and made my heart full.  Sadly, there were obvious “empty chairs” in all our minds.  My nephew and his bride left a loving note at each place setting that perfectly expressed the feeling in each of our hearts, it stated: “In Loving Memory of Joel and Scott ~ To Our Family and Friends ~ As we begin our life together, we look for ways to share our compassion with those we love most.  In lieu of a traditional wedding favor, we have made a donation in your honor to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.  This way, our gift will not only show how much we care about you, but will also share our love with children who are battling cancer at St. Jude. We truly appreciate you being a part of our special day.”

Joel and Scott were brothers of the groom, my nephews’, who both battled cancer with everything they could.  Although they are no longer with us physically, through this note as well as through our thoughts, they were both able to be very present at the wedding.  They each would have been insanely proud and happy, and I know everyone felt their love.  I felt their smiles bright in my mind. 

My Dad, also, would have been bursting with pride, as he would have watched his grandson and his family share this happy occasion.  My brother wore our Dad’s watch in order to enable my Dad’s “hands” to remain close to his throughout the evening.

My nephew’s wedding could not have been more perfectly accomplished.  As it should be at such a special time, love was everywhere.  Even the heavens opened and the unusual warmth of the weather was a reflection of the love given by those “up there”. For all of us who attended the wedding and to you who are attending through this blog, I wish you all the continued appreciation of all those we hold close to our hearts, our family and friends who make each day special.  Life should always be valued and appreciated as it is on “special” occasions.  The beauty of the wedding between my nephew and new niece ~ that beauty, I wish extended to everyone.

Have a joyful day.  Tell those you love how much you love them and remember that everyone you encounter is loved by someone in that same way. 





Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Case of The Missing Black Sweater!!



Where could it possibly be?  

At a crazy, fantastic sale at Macy’s the day after Christmas, I purchased a black V-neck sweater that I absolutely loved!  Between the sales price, which was 75% off the original price, and the coupons I had in hand which entitled me to another 20% off, the sweater that was once over $100 cost me $20!  I was so excited! The material was the perfect weight, warm but without bulk.  The v-neck helped me look thinner than I am and was extremely comfortable.  In other words, I really loved this sweater!  I felt good in it, slim yet comfortable.  

The ride to my nephew’s wedding was to be a long one.  I wanted to be comfortable in the car, yet look “put together” when we arrived in New York.  The sweater was the perfect choice and what I planned to wear.  The night before our travels I decided to lay my clothes out for the morning so I would be ready to roll and hopefully, for once, not be the one holding everyone up.  I found my slacks, shoes, everything…but the sweater was nowhere to be found!  Impossible.  A sweater obviously can’t just walk out of the house, so where could it be?  I remembered putting it in with the laundry so I would wash it before wearing it for the first time.  Two loads have been done since I put it in the laundry and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember seeing it!  It was fine to wash it in cold water, but would not have been placed in the dryer.  Where could it be?

Logic, use logic I thought, it had to be somewhere. My husband and I have a long, walk-in closet.  After looking all through my side, including the floor under the blouses, and all my shelves, I looked on my husband’s side.  I moved each item of clothing, one by one, and then proceeded to clear out his shelves.  Nothing.  I must have put it in my daughter’s room absentmindedly.  I knocked on her door and asked if she saw the sweater.  Since she had been in New York when it was purchased, she didn’t know what the sweater looked like; but together we went through her closet, her drawers…nothing.  I looked under her bed; maybe it fell. Nothing.

My son no longer lives at home and we are almost never in his room, but maybe it somehow wound up in his closet?  I looked, going piece by piece as I had in all the other closets.  Nothing.  

My husband had just thrown a load of towels in the washing machine and some of our towels are black.  Perhaps it had mistakenly ended up in that load?  I had to wait until the wash cycle ended.  Honestly, I never realized how long the washing machine runs!  What seemed like days later, the washer turned off as I was standing there waiting, drumming my fingers on the top of the lid.  I was sure the sweater had to be in there, it simply had to be as it was nowhere else!  One by one I removed the towels and placed them in the dryer.  NOTHING!!  Impossible!! 

Had I somehow thrown it away??

My Mom was all packed and ready to go to my nephew, her grandson’s, wedding.  From the wedding, she was heading to Florida to spend some time with my brother and his wife.  Surely my sweater had to have ended up packed in her luggage by mistake.  With her permission, I opened her suitcase and took each item out…her packing is a story unto itself, but suffice it to say after removing everything, my sweater was not there.

Frustration is too mild a word to describe how I felt.  I couldn’t relax and watch the hockey game, which I usually enjoy so much, especially since my Flyers were beating up on Chicago at the time.  Once again I went through my closet.  I folded and refolded the same sweaters ten times.  I went through my husband’s pajama drawer and mine.  I revisited my daughter’s room, her closet, nothing.  

By this point, everyone was telling me to give up.  They said as soon as I stopped looking, it would turn up.  I couldn’t give up.  I wanted to wear that sweater and now the search for it had taken on a life of its own!!

I looked in the foyer closet.  Perhaps someone hung it up with the coats?  Nothing.  We have a lovely coat stand that my daughter and her boyfriend bought me for Mother’s day by the front door…not there.  I checked behind the washer and dryer, maybe it fell…. not there.

In frustration, I looked in the den, perhaps my little, old, weak dog had somehow taken it from the laundry and hid it behind the sofa.  Desperate times demand weird action.  

The sweater was not in the den.

With my hopes fading I walked down the stairs to the basement.  Anyone who knows me understands that this was true desperation.  Two bags of clothes destined for charity were by the stairs.  As a last ditch effort, I began pulling out the items one by one.  A few of my husband’s shirts that he no longer wore, two sweaters that are now, unfortunately, too snug, and something black crumpled in the bottom of the bag.  MY SWEATER!!!!!

How it got in the bag for charity, I think I now have a clue.  I must have left the sweater on the bed, meaning to put it in the laundry, while my husband was getting clothes together to give to charity.  Our New Year’s resolution is for less clutter and in so doing, helping others with items we could no longer wear.  I probably placed the old clothes on top of the new sweater by accident. From there, it was an easy step to gather it up without noticing and place it in the bag heading for a new life.

All crumpled and inside out, the sweater looked a unhappy, abused.  Once washed with care it should return to looking valued again.  My new sweater, now with its own story having been lost and cast aside without knowing how valued it was. I will treasure the sweater even more now.  I am so glad I didn’t give up the hunt! 

Keep searching for what you want in life.  You may just find it in the oddest of places, but you will find what you are looking for if you just don’t quit!!



Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Leftovers are A Real Treat!



New Year’s Eve was lovely.  We shared the evening with two of our closest friends.  With cuisine from mini mushroom turnovers to a sweet sausage quiche to a rich chocolate cake; we ushered in the New Year with exquisite delights.  My friends brought delicious cold cuts, roast beef, turkey, and cheeses along with a crusty, amazing Jewish rye bread that was truly the best I’ve devoured in years.  As usual, between the four of us, we had enough food for an army and the leftovers filled my refrigerator shelves, all wonderfully wrapped in foil just waiting to be uncovered and enjoyed.  The tantalizing bowls were a special gift just waiting to be rediscovered.

Sunday was New Year’s Day.  My in-laws came by for lunch.  I cooked an entire roast that we hadn’t needed the night before, so we enjoyed warm roast beef sandwiches with a delicate horseradish spread and cheeses ranging from provolone, to Swiss, to American.  I also used my leftover shrimp and made a shrimp salad that both my husband’s mom and mine could not resist.  Before we sat down to lunch there were left over pigs in their nice little blankets, the mushroom turnovers, and mini pizzas that were easily reheated along with the standard hummus, cheese and crackers.  For dessert we served the chocolate cake along with chocolate covered pretzels and short bread cookies.

Dinner that evening consisted of leftover cold cuts, which my friends would not take home.  They were as fresh and delicious Sunday as they were Saturday.  For dessert we had cannolis, which I had forgotten to serve on New Year’s Eve.  The shell was coated in a rich, dark chocolate and the sweet ricotta filling was soothing and comforting. 

Even last night we enjoyed the cold cuts for dinner, as we needed to eat quickly before picking my daughter up at the train station.  So the gift of leftovers continued.

As I write this, all that is physically remaining of the celebration is a small fraction of the cake and one lone cannoli, along with some cheese, bread, and hummus.  Delicious grilled cheese sandwiches are on the menu for dinner tonight!  For more than three days now, I have had no worries about what to make for any meal!  Freedom!

Don’t get me wrong, I do love to cook, but I love to cook when there’s time and when I have energy.  After a long day of working retail, I have to say I don’t relish the thought of coming home and starting to prepare dinner; although I do look forward to sitting down to a good, home-cooked meal.  It’s a dilemma.

For the last few days I’ve enjoyed a mini vacation.  Perhaps one of the best perks of entertaining is not only the fun of the experience, but the remnants of the event!  Leftovers are tangible memories of good times.  They are extra rewards of special attention to detail and good ingredients that are so obviously put into the treats of a special event.  A positive plus of not going out for a celebration are the leftovers.  Pictures are wonderful and last for decades, but reinforcing the memories of a celebration through the physical enjoyment of the food are also fortifying to the soul.  Even years later, when we relive the night through pictures, the visuals of the food that we continued to enjoy will make the evening come alive, tantalizing our taste buds.

So, celebrate good times!  Enjoy good food prepared and purchased lovingly.  The food will nourish you for days to come as they quietly call you to uncover the delicious goodness waiting under an aluminum foil wrapping.  The leftovers will be enjoyed for days while the memories will feed your heart for years.