It’s Been a Long Time

As those of you who follow my blog know, it has been a very long since I have written.  The last time I added a blog to this site was when my back went out, and that blog I could write because it was about pain.  Although the pain in my back, thankfully, subsided, once it was gone I still found myself totally empty and unable to put two thoughtful sentences back to back.  All creativity had been wiped from my heart.  The only thing I can attribute that inability to these last few months is the negativity and nastiness of the surroundings I found myself in for five very long days a week.

I won’t mention the name of the company I entered into full time employment with back in May, but I will say that I believed that going back to work in a professional, corporate atmosphere would automatically land me in a place where the co-workers were accepting and helpful and where the day would be pleasantly spent being productive and part of a team.  I truly looked forward to that experience, as it was what I had found at EVERY work place I had ever worked in prior to this time.   I was willing to be paid “crap” to be part of that once again.  Every one of my prior corporate work experiences held the prospect of working together and of a unique relationship with my co-workers that produced many of my long time friends.  These former co-workers are people who I honestly cherish as part of my life to this day ~ even though we haven’t worked together for many years!

However, this last place was unique in that I didn’t speak to one person who was happy there.  Most people shunned me from day one.  As a newcomer at each prior new adventure, I was welcomed from day one with a group lunch and a few welcoming words from everyone. This first day welcoming was always followed by invitations to join co-workers for lunch, emails with a friendly hello, something…this place…nothing!  Groups of women would walk by my desk and go to lunch or go to the kitchen for coffee without glancing sideways.  My assigned “mentor” would go out with two ladies every day.  Not once did she invite me along.  Only two people even bothered to notice me and both of them understood and felt as I did, only they could accept this daily existence as, like my Mother always said, ‘you get used to hanging if you hang long enough’. 

I didn’t want to get used to hanging.

My mentor even told me, at one point, to only respond to personal texts from my children or husband during the day by going to the ladies room and closing the door.  The company frowned on any contact with home during work hours.  The company did not want “chit chat” from one worker with another.  One woman stopped by my desk (one of the rare friendly women that I mentioned above) during the day to ask how my back was feeling.  Just at that time, a Vice-President of the company walked by and offered a glare of disapproval.  The women scurried back to her desk and sent me an email stating there was an SOP (standard operating procedure) memo that strictly prohibited idol talk and having been seen at my cubicle she was definitely flustered.  Now, this is a sick way to run a company and an even worse way to exist five days a week.

Every Sunday, I would enter into a depressed state knowing I had five days looming before me at this place.  My husband was putting up with me, but it had reached the point where he and I agreed this couldn’t go on much longer.  I kept trying to hold out another week – maybe it would get better.  But, it only became worse. 

Two weeks ago on a Monday morning, I was summoned into a Director’s office to be informed that since 3 people had suddenly left the group on the third floor, they decided that since I was the newest employee, I should go up to that department.  (No one in management wanted to consider REASONS why people were leaving the upstairs department in huge numbers every week!)  Please note that this upstairs department was one in which I had been warned about even prior to taking the job.  I was offered no choice.

What could I say?  I bit my lip and murmured something to the effect of, it’s not up to me, so I will go, and left her office.  It was actually rather funny that this job change was ordered that particular morning as on my drive in I asked for guidance on what to do, for a sign…and then, miraculously, one was given.

I was ordered to transition the studies I had been working on and move to the new position on August 6.  During the transition, I was also informed that I would be receiving training for the new position the last 3 days before the formal transition date.  During the training by a pleasant young woman who was leaving, I inquired about the job.  She looked at me and simply said, “I am glad to be leaving”.  She then directed me to speak with two other people in the department.  I went to them and asked them if their mother was offered this position what advice would they give her?  They told me to run like hell.  Decision made.

Last Friday, I offered my two-week notice to my Director, a woman who had never been welcoming, pleasant, helpful or friendly during one minute of my twelve-week stint working for her.  Being that I would be in training these last two weeks, I believed she would tell me to exit stage left…she not only told me go, she walked me out.  It was the most she had done for me since my starting day!

I returned to working retail at Five Below on Monday with the difference that I now appreciate it so very much!  People exist!  There are people in the world to speak to, to learn from ~ my co-workers are supportive, helpful, friendly and kind!  The customers are funny, easy, difficult and crabby but it doesn’t matter – they are all people and all can be a wonderful contribution to a day full of life!  I can laugh again….I can write again!!

It is good to be back in the world of the living!  I hope I never lose my appreciation and thanks for my good friend, Lisa, who welcomed me back!  What a wonderful blessing it is to welcome each day without a pit in my stomach.

Enjoy the day ~ the days strung together make up your life, and life is too short to be unhappy!