Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Time for Sanity




When listening to the gun debate currently raging in the press, I try to remember that most of my fellow Americans are not crazy.  We are wiser, calmer, not as fox-brainwashed as we appear, as evidenced by the re-election of President Barack Obama.  But, there are times when the basic intelligence and decency of many citizens needs to be doubted, exposed and explored.  This is obvious whenever I see Wayne LaPierre, the National Rifle Association's public face.  It is the face of a bizarre human being. Watching him speak, I have doubts as to his mental capacity to even BE a gun owner, let alone gun promoter!

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about a man who blindly crashed his car into my mother’s parked car outside our home.  The man was obviously on “something” and was carrying a loaded gun in the front seat.  He was distraught over his break-up with his girlfriend and who knows where he was headed, in that state, with his loaded gun.  The police, when they arrived did nothing to him.  As a matter of fact, the force of their speech was to my husband and I, telling us we didn’t understand because we are not “gun people”!  No, I am not a gun person, I readily admit that.  However, the schism between that and driving intoxicated with a loaded gun seems to loom large.  It seems the lecture should be directed to the guy acting irresponsibly who just crashed into a PARKED car!

Anyway, I digress, but it simply proves to illustrate the gun culture of this society.  I have been keeping a close eye on the gun debate currently raging in every part of the press.  On television, the radio, in print, both sides are active, on high alert.  Even our government, with sane voices like that of the President of the United States and others are being heard.  The narrative, which I believe the mainstream media promotes courtesy of the NRA, is that this is much bluster with nothing real or tangible able to happen.  I refuse to believe it.

Twenty 6 and 7 year olds along with six young teaching professionals were gunned down less than two months ago by a young man with a legally purchased (by his mom)  Bushmaster AR-15 rifle. There are zero federal restrictions on the ownership of AR-15 rifles in the United States, zero. The gun used in Newtown, Connecticut has been used before in many mass massacres in the United States recently.  Hunters do not use these rifles, as the bullets would tear apart the flesh of their prey and the shooting is pretty much general and not accurate.  These rifles are not even good at protecting from a home invasion for the reason given…they are not accurate as they are meant to kill massive amounts of people, not one directly attacking you.

There is no reason that I have heard on any of the numerous debates I have listened to that have resonated as to why any civilian would need an AR-15.   None.  The purpose of this gun is mass shooting.  It is a weapon of war.  The premise that we cannot, as a nation, have sensible control of such a dangerous, destructive, heartache-producing weapon, is absolutely amazing.  Banning the further sale of these weapons along with extended magazines that aid in killing as many innocents as possible, should be obvious and without argument, even by the NRA.  IF that organization would stand for sane regulations, perhaps they would not be so despised by so many of us.

An AR-15 was also used in the mass massacre of moviegoers in Colorado on July 20, 2012.  According to the letter from Aurora victims' family members – “an AR-15 assault rifle was used in the movie theater killing on July 20. "We listened to the 911 tapes played in court and sat in agony as we heard 30 shots fired within 27 seconds, wondering if one of those bullets killed our children," the letter read.

Arguing for the continued sale of these weapons and these extended clips is what the NRA is standing for at this point in our history.  Unbelievable, but true! No one on the other side is saying that banning these weapons will end all violence in our country, we are, unfortunately a society that applaudes and rewards violence in our movies, our video games and our rhetoric. However, if some lunatic is going to come at me in some public place with violence in mind, I sure would rather he/she was not carrying an AR-15 with an extended clip!

Common sense tells us that this violence, death and destruction cannot and will not be completely halted by the elimination of this class of rifle and the extended magazines.  However, it can only help.  Just as putting a warning on the side of cigarettes didn’t stop all from smoking, smoking is much less common than it was….the art of romanticizing smoking was removed from movies, advertisements were taken off television, all of this helped lessen smoking and thus cancer deaths in our country.  This all simply proves that as Americans we need to ALL participate and work together to lessen unnecessary death.

No one is fighting to eliminate the second amendment.  As much as I despise guns, and I admit that I do, I realize that hunting is a way of life to some.  For some reason going out as a family and killing animals as they try to peacefully exist is sport.  (I know, that was laced with sarcasm, sorry, can’t help it.)  But, I realize it is and I even realize, in spite of my feelings, that when not hunted the deer make life crazy and dangerous for many of us driving around the country.  So, although hunting to me seems a bit barbaric, I can acquiesce to those who do and agree to disagree.  It is a part of the diversity of our culture that I love and admire. 

I also understand how many might want a handgun in their home to protect from invaders.  I would not want one in my home, but I understand that there are single women, people living in dangerous neighborhoods, and probably most of my republican neighbors who own handguns, guns which, they say, makes them feel safer. 

A gun in my house would have the opposite effect.  According to a recent National Public Radio interview, having a gun in the home made the death of a member of that household 43 times more likely than that gun being used for self-defense. That same interview followed with more facts, out of 743 deaths from firearms, 398 occurred IN the home with the gun.  Of these deaths, 80% were suicides, 13% were murders, and 3% were accidents.  As it turns out, most homicide victims are shot by either fellow family members or their roommates – only 7 of the 398 deaths were self-defense, SEVEN!

Despite those statistics, if you feel you need or want a handgun in your home, to protect from an invader, go for it.  If you feel you need to carry a handgun to protect yourself, okay.  But, you do not need a semi-automatic rifle with an extended clip.  You just simply do not.

I just heard that Wayne LaPierre, recently stated that even background checks were not something he could get on board with.  He really said that.  He said that criminals wouldn’t go through the checks.  Well, for that matter, why have ANY laws?  Criminals won’t abide by them, so what the heck…..go for it people!  Why have speed limits?  Speeders won’t abide!  Why make shoplifting illegal…..people still steal!

That argument obviously doesn’t hold water, but he makes it and lemmings repeat it.

There ARE common sense laws and common sense aid to this horrific problem we have in our nation of gun violence.  Of course no law or group of laws will be 100% effective, but just as enforcing drunk driving laws have lessened automobile deaths, common sense gun restrictions could lessen mass murders, random, horrific, tragic, mass murders; and we have to do everything in our power to lessen these tragedies as the next one might be in YOUR child’s school, YOUR neighborhood movie theater or YOUR area mall.

Yes, the problem is vast and yes we need to look at keeping violence in our video games and movies down, not glorifying the death and destruction.  Yes, we need to better treat the mentally ill, but please note that just like the vast amount of legal gun owners are not criminals, the vast amount of mentally ill are not criminals either.   Funny how the gun lobby, the NRA, which makes money for every gun sold, has no problem having a data base for those with mental problems but is against that same registration for ALL gun owners – even those who buy through gun shows and private sales.

It has been proven that background checks actually help two fold, first, the obvious that it makes it that much harder to get your hands on a weapon of death, and second,  many with severe mental issues find it difficult to fill out the forms on a background check.  They get befuddled and don’t do it.  A win/win in keeping weapons out of the hands of those who should not have them!

In conclusion, I am proud to stand with the majority of Americans, even those in the NRA if not their “leader”, who are willing to look at all angles of this horrific problem facing us all.  The tragedy of gun massacres across our great country has to be dealt with right away.  If the rhetoric could be lowered to a point where we aren’t arguing extremes, perhaps something could be accomplished.  No one is saying all guns should be banned.  However, just as machine guns were banned decades ago, with no slippery slope coming to be, we can and should ban semi-automatic weapons and extended magazines for  only when reloading was the man who killed so many in Colorado, stopped.  If he had only had a 10 round magazine, instead of a 30, how many more would be alive today and if one of them was your parent, brother, sister or heaven forbid, child, yes, it would absolutely matter.

It is time to prove that we are civilized, that we are intelligent, and we are worthy of our role as being the shining light on the hill.  We need to care more about our fellow human beings than the rights of those who can’t even defend their ownership of such destructive weapons.  Yelling the Second Amendment at a grieving father is not a reason.  Defending against our government, a government with nukes, drones, tanks, and every possible weapon of war, is no argument.  It is time for rationale discussion, rationale laws and rationale thinking.  The time for bluster and posturing ended with the deaths of twenty 6 and 7 year olds in their first grade classroom.

Please see the following for a story worth the 11 minutes:  http://www.storyofamerica.org/darren

Thursday, January 24, 2013

It's Okay To Be Me ~




The wind is blowing, the temperatures are in the teens, and winter is definitely here this week.  Today, I have an entire day off.  I sit here in my warm office, with my very old dog, Popcorn, at my feet.  Popcorn, Poppy, is a good boy, and even though he no longer sees or hears very well, he has a weak heart, few teeth, horrific breath, and can’t quite control his bowels…he is loved.

Aging is a weird thing.  One day you’re young and full of vigor and excitement, the next day you’re sitting around wondering what the heck happened, where did the time go?

I am 54.  Fifty freaking four.  I’ll be 55 next month on my birthday.  Even if I am lucky and live until 90, that means my life is more than half over and the vibrant years are mostly behind me.  What does it mean?

I had lunch with a very dear friend last week.  We went to a Japanese restaurant for sushi, which neither one of us ordered as it turned out ~ the crab/asian pear salad was too enticing.  We sat there for hours talking about everything and anything.  It was the best therapy.  My friend Linda and I have so much in common, even though she speaks with a delightful British accent and I have my Philly twang.  We each have a daughter and son, in that order, born within months of each other.  We have husbands that have stuck by us through thick and thin.  We are not wealthy, but not poor and we are lucky to work in jobs that allow us to meet for lunch for hours in the middle of the week.

We talked about so many things, but mostly about something that both of us do incessantly - worry.  My reputation in my family is that I am and always have been, an over-protective mom and a worrier that knows no limits.  All my life, everyone has called me “nuts”, “over-the-top”, and “ridiculous”.  The teasing never stopped, not when I was a young mom, not when I had children in school, and not now that they are older and on their own. I always thought it was a personality flaw, something awful that I should work on, but never could seem to rectify.  The realization that I could never stop worrying, no matter how much I tried, definitely hurt my self-esteem.

Linda did something at that lunch that no one has ever done before.  Linda told me that it’s okay to be me, and it’s okay to worry.  In order to worry as well as each of us do, (we certainly excel) an excellent imagination is needed.  An imagination, a creativity, that also appears in so many other areas of our lives and contributes so much joy to not only our lives but also the lives of others close to us, and those not so close.  If we took that imagination away, we wouldn’t be who we are, and, you know what, who we are is pretty wonderful!  Each of us would do anything in the world for our children. We know no bounds; there is nothing our children could ask of us that we won’t do for them.  We support and care for our husbands, our Moms (both of us have lost our Dads – but we cared for them when they were here, too).  We have brothers, friends, nieces and nephews who love us for our uniqueness – a uniqueness that would perhaps be minimized if we could ever rid ourselves of the worry gene, for that gene wouldn’t go away alone.

I am no longer going to apologize for worrying so much or even try too hard to stop.  Linda taught me something wonderful and eye opening -  the fact that it’s okay to be me ~ which also means it is amazingly right and fantastic for you to be you!