Two Sides To Every Coin

Life is so strange sometimes.  Today is Memorial Day.  To some it’s a day of barbeques, the welcoming of summer fun, sunshine and good food; to others, it’s a day of remembering loved ones lost in one horrific war or another, a day of tributes and visiting grave sites.  How can one holiday have two such divergent meanings?  That question popped into my head this morning when I was looking at my Facebook page of all things.  Some friends were talking and sharing pictures of fun on the beach while others where sharing pictures of a woman lying across the ground crying in front of a tombstone.  How can it be that both are such perfect images of the day? 

This weekend has been very relaxing, fun, and full for me.  Although I didn’t have the opportunity to spend it with my children, I did share it with so many people who mean so much to me.  On Saturday, with cousins visiting from California, we met at my Aunt’s house and talked, hugged and laughed for hours.  There is a unique love and acceptance that comes with family.  We have a shared history that simply exists and is deep in the heart and soul of each of us.  We all have our favorite stories, but each of the stories has their basis in the same reality, the same loving and supportive background.  We miss the same people; we cherish our shared years.  Time and distance may have pushed us to opposite ends of the country, but the cord is still there, and I am so thankful for it.

Yesterday, my husband and I spent the day with close, loving friends; two people who we have only known for five or six years, but who have become an integral part of our lives.  We talked in the pool, enjoyed good food and refreshing pina coladas made by my husband.  The afternoon flew by with good discussions.  Memorial Day weekend was two thirds through.

Today is more of a quiet day.  I am looking forward to just relaxing out back, soaking in some sun, and maybe reading a bit ~ doing nothing, which is sometimes everything.  I have this day off to celebrate the millions of people who lost their lives in various wars throughout our history.  I think of my Dad, who fought in WWII.

 It always amazed me that even toward the end of his days, when so many other memories were cloudy or lost, that his memories of his time in the army were vivid.  What an impression those years made on him.  How would his life have been different had there not been a war?  Without serving, would he have been the same man?  Of course he wouldn’t have been.  Our experiences big and small shape who we are, so through his changes, am I different than I would have been?  Are there parts of his history that altered the way he interacted with me that changed me?  Of course there is no way to know, but it’s interesting to consider.

My cousin once told me that the only way to really know what you are in your soul is to remove yourself from everything familiar and be away for a time.  I suppose that is what my Dad’s time in the army did for him.  My Dad was unique in his strength and his humor.  Would he have been that way without that time?

As a mother, wife, daughter, I could never take time and be off on my own.  Honestly, I wouldn’t want to, wouldn’t have the strength or the courage.  Those are my own weaknesses.  But, writing sometimes gives me that space to think about what is deep in my heart.  When I go there, I find that what I want is to not waste my time here, on this earth, doing things I have no interest in doing.  Obligation is foolish.  Of course, obligation and responsibility are two different things and I do have a desire to be responsible for certain things – to my family, to the world…. but the day to day ridiculous obligations that cause resentment because you are doing something you don’t want to do and don’t see any benefit to anyone for your doing them, those are the things that eat away at well-being.

So, to the two sides of every coin, such is life.  Memorial Day may be barbeque day to some while it’s a day of heartache for others…. to some, it is both.  Like most valuable things in life, there is a happy side and a heartbreaking side. Enjoying the good times, cherishing the feelings of love and belonging, while remembering that it is the lives and dedications of those who have struggled and come before us that has enabled us to reach this day.  All of this comes together to make the sweetness that much sweeter while it reinforces our responsibility to each other and to the greater goodness of days to come.

Thank you to all who have come before, and thank you to all who are with me today.  Without your love and support, life would be meaningless.

Have a wonderful Memorial Day~