"I Stayed Up All Night To See Where the Sun Went - Then it Dawned on Me."

A friend of mine sent me the pun that is serving as the title of this post; ‘I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.’

It’s a wise pun, and anyone who knows me knows I enjoy puns very much!  My favorite birthday card was one that read, “I would dance down the steps to celebrate your birthday – but I’m a Fred a stairs”.  When in the library recently, I told the librarian friend of mine, “I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.”  So, the fact that this particular pun was sent to me today was not surprising.  However, the way it hit me was unique.

I’ve been waiting around for something to happen, some job to pop into my life since I was laid off from my prior full-time job over 2 years ago.  I started this blog, tried to get my children’s book illustrated, took a part-time job, and did my normal array of daily activities from cooking through chatting with friends.  But, through all this time, I didn’t really investigate and work toward any one thing in particular; I sort of floated through all my interests waiting for one to push me instead of me pushing it.

So, I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.  I sat and did nothing, and everything happened anyway. I went with the flow and the tide has now left me on a new beach.

There’s a pretty good chance that I will begin a new, full-time position on Monday, May 14^th.  I received a call on Wednesday from the head of HR at a company I interviewed with, informing me of their decision to hire me.  Along with all the pertinent details of salary, vacation time, benefits, etc., with that one call, I was excited to learn that I had finally done it, I had succeeded at being recognized as valuable to the outside world once again.  Being that I am superstitious, I am not counting on anything until the formal letter arrives; however, the chance is pretty real that I will once again return to the world of full-time employment very soon.

Of course this is very welcome news.  The increased income will make it easier to buy fun things, pay off some accumulated, straggly bills, and perhaps, once I have earned time off, go on another cruise with family and friends. However, now I am grappling with one particular, nagging thought; did I do enough with my free time or did I just stay up all night and wait to see where the sun went?

I know I used the beginning of my time at home wisely and appreciated every single day.  Aside from searching for a new position, I was able to be with my Dad before he passed.  Those months are etched in my memory and I will cherish those moments with him forever.

I also remember spending time doing more mundane things like cleaning out the pantry and making an effort, in the beginning to de-clutter the house.  Well, that lasted for a short while.  Before I knew it, the clutter was back and I was just as good at ignoring it.  I still believe in the saying that a house needs to be clean enough to be healthy, but messy enough to be happy.  We strive for happy.

Writing this blog has been a big plus for me.  Getting things off my mind, putting them on paper, hoping others get something out of my writing, these things have been productive and enjoyable.  But, did I use the gift of time as importantly as I could?  Now that so much free time is winding down, I realize there are still so many things I would like to do yet the seconds are quickly ticking away!

Don’t get me wrong, the position I have been offered is very desirable and one in which I feel I will be contributing to a greater good.  The organization and follow-up that will be necessary to succeed in this position will be a welcome opportunity to get out of “my own head” and concentrate on something else, a sort of forced mental vacation.  Everyone I met through interviewing at the company was intelligent, welcoming, friendly and kind.  I want to do well, fit in and prove myself worthy of this opportunity.  I will try my best.

But, it just “dawned on me” that the free time I was given was really a very special gift; a gift that I lived in for a period of time; a gift that has taught me a lot about myself.  It is a gift I am glad I will never have to return as it has enriched my soul forever. 

I am excited about this new opportunity that is right around the bend.  I worked at getting this chance for a long time and will try my best to be a valuable addition every single day. 

My time spent sitting around waiting for the sun to rise was a wonderful time.  Thinking about it now, in retrospect, the time was used wisely and appreciated fully.  This experience enabled me to take a breath, clear my lungs, follow my heart and sing out loud.  And now, with the dawn approaching, I can start fresh.  I can watch the sun come up with a smile and face the new day and all its new challanges with enthusiasm and gusto.

Hello World – I am back!