Thoughts on Christmas Day

Growing up, Christmas Day was a day for enjoying a huge family celebration.  Everyone would come to our house for the day’s festivities.  We would eat wonderful foods, prepared by either my Mom or my aunts.  My cousins and I would play games and the older family members; aunts, uncles, and grandparents, would sit and talk over coffee and cake.  The only reality that separated our family celebration on Christmas day from millions of others around the world was that instead of gathering around a tree and gifts for everyone, we would gather around a birthday cake with my Dad’s name on it and what gifts there were, would be for him. 

We are Jewish.  My Dad happened to be a Christmas baby.  Since Christmas is a quite major holiday although not one of our particular religious beliefs, we used the opportunity as a gift to enjoy a huge family celebration.   Everyone was off from work and quite honestly there was nothing else to do!  All stores and restaurants are closed on Christmas so there really was little competition for my Dad’s birthday celebration.  Chinese food and a movie were never an option for us, as we did have our unique reason to celebrate as a family, my Dad!

In my naiveté growing up, I thought everyone felt like an outsider on Christmas.  My family was fairly insulated in those days in that there were no members of the family who were not Jewish.   Our interaction with the holiday amounted to watching excellent Christmas movies that made us all cry, listening to Christmas carols while weaving through crowded stores looking for my Dad’s birthday present, and driving through ‘other’ neighborhoods to see the beautiful lights.  Our lights consisted of the burning candles on our Menorah, candles that burned themselves out in less than 10 minutes! Chanukah gifts, in those days, consisted of a shiny quarter and sometimes a dreidel filled with hard candy.  

I have vivid memories of my second grade Christmas show in elementary school; it wasn’t called a Holiday show in those days.  My class consisted of 24 children, all Jewish – the teacher, Mrs. Fisher was Jewish, yet we put on a Christmas show!  To this day I remember sitting cross-legged on the stage floor with my xylophone, playing and singing along to “Silver Bells” directed toward an audience wondering where they would get a really good corned beef special for dinner when the show was over! 

I honestly never truly thought about Christmas or realized it was such a major, deeply meaningful part of so many lives.  Gradually, as I grew older and became less insulated, the magical aspect of the holiday season became more apparent.  Our family expanded to a wonderful reality, a reality where different religions and backgrounds became a source of inspiration, pride and respect.   My son went with his girlfriend and her family to midnight mass last night.  Although his beliefs are different, he is able to appreciate the beauty and love that are behind these wonderful celebrations and they, in turn, welcomed his presence with joy.  My daughter will spend the day in Connecticut with her boyfriend’s mom, a warm, loving woman who has a heart as big as the world.  Widening our sphere of experience has made us all more compassionate and exceedingly more open to the beauty that is the reality of Christmas.   We now live as part of the experience, not separated from it.  I am truly appreciative of being included in the splendor of the season.

Today, my husband, my Mom and I will visit my brother’s house as we have done every year for the last four.  My sister-in-law is a wonderful woman, loving, fun, energetic.  As she is not Jewish, their home is beautifully decorated with Santa Clauses and a magnificent tree, tall, strong, and classic.  The fireplace will be burning bright and its warmth will welcome everyone.  We will open gifts together, some with green and red wrapping paper, some with blue and white paper, but all given with love and care.

My Dad’s birthday and Christmas are still one and the same.  My Dad is no longer with us, physically, but he is absolutely with us in our hearts.  I may not have celebrated the holiday of Christmas all those years growing up, but I do now realize that I was lucky to have the greatest Christmas present of all – on that special day, my Dad entered the world.  The love my Dad gave so freely every day, the support, laughter, generosity, caring – how lucky am I that he was my Dad?!  He was the greatest gift a girl could have, a protecting, loving father.

As we celebrate this special holiday, in 2011, I can appreciate the beauty and the love that come with the Christmas holiday and I realize that I celebrated those feelings all along. 

I love you Dad, Happy Birthday.

Merry Christmas to all ~