Yesterday morning, sitting comfortably in my favorite living room chair, the one in which I usually fall asleep, I sat and watched a DVD from 1987 with my husband, my mom, my daughter and her boyfriend. The quality of the pictures, technically, was not the best, but the pictures are worth a million dollars.
Life changes so gradually. Looking back I realize how completely different life was in so many ways, yet, in so many other ways, things are exactly the same.
Getting beyond the huge glasses, the wide shoulder pads, and the HUGE hair, the people, my family, many of those there, are no longer here. In the videos, my Grandparents were helping my four-year daughter overcome her fear of balloons popping. It was my daughter’s 4th birthday party. She was as adorable as she is today. She's always funny, insightful, and beautiful. Her being who she is makes my heart smile, always has, from the moment she was born. My Dad was sitting on the floor, watching the Eagles game, a usual Sunday activity. My Mom was busy setting the table and to be quite honest, I seemed a bit overwhelmed and even a bit harried and cranky. I wish that old me, who was so much younger than today’s me, had looked around at all the people who were in the room and appreciated the moment. A room filled with so much love. I just wish, looking back, I didn’t take so much of what was there that day for granted.
My Grandfather was one of the nicest men to ever walk the earth. He was a quiet man, a hard-working man, and a gentle giant. He always had a cigar in his mouth, even though it was rarely lit. Even when he fell asleep in a chair, the cigar would remain on his lips, a real marvel. His smile would light the room. My Grandmother was an amazingly protective woman who took great care of her “Herman”. In the video, she was showing my daughter that a balloon, although possible to pop and vulnerable, was actually pretty strong. My Grandmother always spoke her mind, but her love for her family was all encompassing, all protecting. She taught me to never underestimate the power a woman holds, her importance for keeping a family together. My Dad, a funny, loving, caring, dependable, brave man who I miss every day, was right there, healthy and strong. They were all there, all in the room, yet I was so busy with so many things. Was I too busy to appreciate all the love that surrounded me? I know I took for granted that because those present had always been there, they would continue to always be there. Unfortunately, that’s not how life goes.
Day by day life changes and we don’t realize that as the minutes tick away, the years are flying by. Everyone is both vulnerable and strong. The generations gradually change and as my Mom says, we move up to the next layer. We start off young, the children, running around, having fun, complaining to be sitting at the kids table. Then we turn into teenagers, thinking about where we’ll be heading with our friends AFTER the family get-together. When we’re young married couples, we think we know so much. Then, when we have children, we watch them run around, having fun, and we follow, being sure they’re safe. When they become teenagers, we see the look in their eyes and remember, wondering how we can continue to keep them safe. Before you know it, we’re the middle-aged relatives. All of a sudden, we're the ones telling stories of how things were when we were young – before IPods and cell phones. We see our parents aging; we lose people we thought would always be there, some way too young.
Videos are priceless. They not only remind us of who we were, they remind us who we really are. Family history, learned lessons, love given, love received, all these things have given us strength and courage. All these actions have given us the support and love we need to function, to be productive and add value to life.
There are now new faces at family gatherings. Faces that weren’t born yet in 1987, faces we hadn’t met yet, but all are vital. For example, my wonderful son who wasn’t born until 1988 wasn’t in this particular video, yet he, like my daughter, is of top importance to me. They are my heart. Each member of our family, from the littlest baby to the newest family member added through love or friendship, is priceless. Each of us individually, our quirks, our presence, add up to a whole that is unique yet evidenced in each family photo around the globe. Every life is precious and means the world to someone.
The next time my family and friends are together I just want to be sure to appreciate that moment in time. I want to spend quality time with every one there and be aware of how lucky we are, at that precise moment, to be together. I don’t want to allow any of the cooking, cleaning, any of the work involved tasks to take priority over the fact that we are all together. I want to be aware and appreciate - I also want to take videos for even as that moment is being enjoyed, it is flying by.
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