It looked so easy on the cooking channel! You just take your turkey, place it in the brining bag, add whatever brining recipe you choose, seal the bag and refrigerate. The turkey will marinate and then, after it’s cooked, it will be the most succulent, delicious turkey you’ve ever made! It sounded so simple, and I found the brining bag on the aisle of Bed, Bath and Beyond and it was free with my $5 coupon! How could I not brine - ?
While I was working at my part-time job yesterday, my wonderful daughter prepared the brine according to the directions on the brining bag box. The ingredients sounded wonderful, molasses, kosher salt, sugar, garlic, maple syrup and lemon juice. When I arrived home, we cleaned and dried the turkey and opened the box, which held the special brining bag. It was a huge, strong bag! My husband gently placed the turkey in the bag for me, as it, the turkey, weighs a ton. (We earned a free turkey from our supermarket and therefore it was incumbent upon us to purchase the largest free bird possible.)
After he placed the turkey in the bag, my husband went in the other room leaving my daughter and I to add to the brining liquid to the turkey. My daughter held the bag open for me as I gradually added the liquid, cup by cup. As the bag filled, we kept close watch as according to the directions, the bird was to be fully covered.
Suddenly, with the bag ¾ full of brine, the bag just caved in! One end of it uncontrollably flopped to the side and gallons of the brine cascaded all over the kitchen! The counter, the cabinets (inside and out), the silverware drawer, the stovetop, underneath the stove, especially the floor, all were covered with the sticky, salty fluid!
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I started laughing hysterically. My husband ran down the steps to see what was going on and stepped fully into an inch of brine that was flowing over the tile floor! With a look of horror I will keep in my mind for years to come, he started screaming how everything was covered in salmonella! My daughter had to be sure her blackberry, which she had been holding in her other hand at the time of the explosion, was functioning, so she left the room.
Luckily, we had just finished drying a load of towels so we gathered as many as we could, along with an entire roll of paper towel and cleaned the mess. My husband had to pull the stove away from the wall so we could clean beneath it. The silverware drawer had to be emptied as brine had worked its way in to each compartment; spoons, forks, knives, nothing was spared. After about 25 minutes of disinfecting, drying, and cleaning, the kitchen was pretty much returned to normal, but the bird was still sitting in the bag.
My husband told me HE would hold the bag this time and so, once again, we began filling the bag with brine as we luckily (we thought) still had plenty brine left. The turkey was about ¾ covered when I thought it needed just a little bit more. Being out of brine, I decided adding one measuring cup (which is equal to 4 cups of water) could be added and it would be just enough. So, I began to add that last cup while my husband continued to hold the bag.
In an instant, an instant I tell you, the bag once again flopped down and with a splash and a flood like you could never imagine the brine, once again, gushed all over the entire kitchen. The flooding brine covered even further this time. It washed over the entire stove, filled the floor, once again invading every cabinet, drawer and crevice. My husband was covered, from his chest to his socks with the brine and he was not happy.
Once again, I started to laugh as I truly felt I was in an episode of situation comedy. If only we had taped this entire ordeal, we would be a hit on youtube! My husband did not appreciate either the humor of the situation or my hysterics. He was beside himself and didn’t know where to run first! He continued his salmonella mantra while getting even more towels out of the laundry basket!
A half hour later, so this is an hour since we started with this “simple brine”, we were finishing up cleaning the kitchen, using our steamer to be sure the floor was disinfected. The turkey was still sitting proudly in the bag, with about an inch or two or brine, seemingly laughing at us.
We gave up. We sealed the bag and placed the turkey in the refrigerator. I finished cleaning the counters, having to even wash the liquid soap dispenser and the dish detergent bottle. Before going to sleep we carefully flipped the bird in the bag so the other side would marinate overnight in the measly two inches of brine.
The turkey is now cooking. We rinsed it off this morning and drained the remaining brine down the drain. After seasoning the bird with what smells like an amazing basting recipe received from a Williams Sonoma email, the turkey has now been cooking for 4 hours.
I must say, it smells amazing. Just like Thanksgiving…
Have a wonderful holiday everyone! And to all my friends and family, thank you for all the love and support you give me every day. To all my blog followers, both in and out of the United States, I am thankful to you, too, and hope you continue to enjoy reading AWomansRoom.blogspot.com!
It is people that make this life worth living. Thank you all so much for being such wonderful people, such dear friends, and such great companions. I love you all!
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