The Right Song

My son, Michael, is getting married in June. 

Weddings are beautiful when you are a guest and you see the couple, so in love, so excited about starting their lives together as a married couple.  However, as I learned watching my daughter get married, they are an entirely deeper, heart-filling experience when it is your own child up there exchanging vows.  The hopes and dreams you hold for this new Mr. and Mrs. fills your universe.  Your soul expands with a joy that is all encompassing and overwhelming. 

Here is this person, this beautiful, loving, caring person that you raised and nurtured beginning one of the most joyful, hopefully everlasting, relationships that life offers.  I think back to all the experiences my husband have shared and I can only hope that my children’s’ spouses are always there for them, in good times and in tough times, because life is full of both, as my husband has been there for me.  Through all my goofiness, silliness, and over-protective worrying quirks, he has stood by me.  No one is perfect, but having a partner that willingly accepts those quirks, even when they may make him a bit exasperated at times, is really what this special, unique partnership is all about.   

Knowing how emotional I am going to be at my son’s wedding has always been an accepted fact.  Just as my daughter and I have an exceptionally close relationship; my son and I do too.  I am very lucky to have a son who is willing to discuss his interests, his goals, his dreams, and his aspirations.  We have always shared fun times….from the times when he would so seriously discuss his imaginary friends, starting with Momboweeze, Peekels etc, to collecting beanie babies, to playing Mario Kart when he was younger, up to the present when we share some of the most heartfelt discussions over politics, his deeply meaningful work, the love of his life, and anything else under the sun.  My son brightens my world and fills my heart with a love that is impossible to put into words. 

At my daughter’s wedding, my husband had the chance to dance with her, the bride.  I loved every minute of watching them, holding each other, images of him cradling her in his arms when she was a newborn merged into this one dance.  He found a song that perfectly described the emotions of that moment.  Now, it will be my turn to have that special dance with my Michael.  The song has to be perfect.  I know that probably no one else will listen to the words, but I will, and I want the words to resonate with my son and convey to him the love, respect, and pride I feel whenever I think of him.

I know that everyone has thought my search for this special song has been a bit over the top.  I emailed a DJ I know, and a very special singer, song writer and asked them to pour over songs that could possibly relate to a Mother/Son Dance.  It is amazing to me that there is such little to choose from in the millions of songs that are out there!!  Most are about romantic love, or there are songs about Fathers and Sons or Sons to Mother…..but they usually involve important passages, like in the song “Sadie” by the Spinners: 

“Early one Sunday morning

Breakfast was on the table
There was no time to eat
She said to me, "Boy, hurry to Sunday school"

Filled with her load of glory
We learned the holy story"

These lyrics have nothing to do with our relationship, even though he did go to Hebrew School on Sunday, this just didn’t pertain. My search continued for months from songs such as “You are the Sunshine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder, to “You’ll be in My Heart” by Phil Collins…..”How Deep is the Ocean” sung by Barbara Streisand and her son Jason Gould, to finally “Because you Loved Me”, by Celine Dion.  They are all beautiful songs, but none felt right.  They all had an important passage or two that just didn’t pertain or make sense.  I was feeling disappointed but refused to give up the search.  I knew that my hours of pouring through music on YouTube and asking everyone would not be in vain.

Words are so important to me.  Words can heal or destroy, they can empower or hinder, they are powerful and meaningful and in the midst of this special day, Michael's wedding day, words need to be filled with love and importance. This moment, this dance, when I get to hold my son in my arms, I want to make him know and understand how absolutely vital he is to my life.  I want him to feel how deeply I admire him, how strongly I support him, how proud I am of him, how unconditionally I love him.

I have found my song.  After months of searching and believing it hadn’t been written yet, I stumbled across it on my way to work yesterday morning.  I was listening to talk radio, when I had enough of politics, and thought I needed a little music.  I turned the station and a song came on that I hadn’t heard in quite some time.  By the time I arrived at work, my make-up was running from my tears.  THIS was the song.  I wrote it down and wondered if I would feel the same when I heard it again, and read the lyrics. 

This morning, I did both those things and I feel even more certain of this song.  I know it will be only two minutes of this very special day, but it will be two minutes that will live in my heart forever. 

Michael ~ I am so glad you agree and like this song.  When we dance, just always know that you are loved more than words, no matter how great they are, could ever convey.  Just know that I wish you and Rebecca all the most wonderful of times together. Like the saying goes, “May your joys be doubled and your sorrows be halved”.  Just always know……..

I love you for ever, I love you for always ~

PS) I will post the song after the wedding.........