Just Ask

Did you ever wake up in the middle of night, in the middle of a dream only to find yourself falling back to sleep and back to the same dream?  It happened to me last night and it has stuck with me this morning.

The strongest feeling that is still with me this morning is one of anticipation.  I’ll set the stage for you to the best of my ability so you can follow along.  Maybe you can tell me what you think it all means.

Apparently, I was in charge of orchestrating a very small dinner party.  The woman who hired me to arrange this party was always in shadows.  I could see that she was probably forty-ish and had shoulder length dark hair.  Her voice was soothing but strong.  There were to be 7 other guests at this party, aside from myself, and the woman in control of this occasion held very high connections.  

She sat across from me behind a huge glass desk.  Her swivel chair was turned so that as she spoke she was looking out of a floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked a clear day, a blue sky, in the middle of a busy city.  I could even hear the traffic whizzing below us.  She was leaving the guest list up to me with the only criteria being that those invited had to be people I didn’t know personally and they had to be well respected, accomplished in their field.  An invitation with this woman’s name on it would not be rejected, she assured me, so there was no limit.

My most important, immediate task was creating this list of 7 people that I, as an average person, would value learning from at this particular time in history.  The people had to be real, alive, and not superficial. 

The next thing I remember is sitting behind an old, vintage typewriter.  The room was now very much darker and full of empty shelves, aside from dust.  There was no computer, this list, apparently, had to come from my heart alone.

Feeding the paper through the typewriter and getting it set as I remember doing back in the days before computers and Word, I stared at the white sheet in front of me.  As I stared at the paper suddenly all kinds of names started appearing:  Barack Obama, Deepak Chopra, Paul McCartney, Noam Chomsky, Lily Tomlin, Richard Dawkins, Carole King, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks,  Stephen Colbert, The Dalai Lama,  Gloria Steinem.  I had to narrow this list to seven even as more names were popping into my head…

I don’t know if any of you reading this are old enough to remember that in the old days, when typing on a typewriter, some parts of a letter would be really dark and almost go through the paper.  Everyone with an ‘i’ in their name, the dot was unbelievably dark.  So that left me with Gloria Steinem, The Dalai Lama, Carole King, Richard Dawkins and Lily Tomlin.  My list now had 5 names so I had to narrow the remaining list down to two.  If you know me, then you know that Barack Obama would HAVE to be there.  That left me with Deepak Chopra, Paul McCartey, Noam Chomsky, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks and Stephen Colbert.  Of them, only one could join the dinner.

It was at this point in the dream that I woke up.  I glanced at the clock on my night table to see it was 2:27 am. I was thinking about the names that were so ingrained in my head and felt overwhelmed and kind of chuckled to myself for this weird dream.  I flipped on my back and remember starring at the ceiling.

The next thing I remember, I was back in the dream.  The paper with the names was miraculously still in front of me.  I thought to myself, I have a religious man, a scientist/atheist, a strong politically involved woman, a musician, and a comedian.  I also included President Obama so I had a politician with a background in Constitutional law.  I now had to decide if I wanted an actress, an actor, a philosopher, another amazingly accomplished songwriter, another comedian or a scientist.  I could feel my hands typing, pushing down hard on the round keys of the antique typewriter:   Noam Chomsky.

The next thing I remember is being back in the clean, clear office of the woman with the dark hair and the big window.  She was talking on the phone, (a sleek desk phone, not a cell phone) and she just held out her hand for the list. 

I handed my list to her and in a flash I was sitting in a magnificent room with the most comfortable, cozy, contoured chairs.  Each was exactly the same, situated in a circle and each had it’s own personal table set with a white tablecloth, light blue clothe napkins, and a simple vase with a white chrysanthemum.  The china was white with a delicate blue line.  The room was full of windows and surrounded on all sides by a magnificent garden.  The greens of the outside garden gave the room a beauty that I truly cannot explain.  I remember feeling a bit nervous, as I didn’t know what to do next.  Was I supposed to greet the guests as they entered?  Was I supposed to speak to them?  I looked down and realized I was holding a leather bound book, perhaps the answers to my questions were in the book?  As I opened the cover to look inside the book the room was suddenly full of all the people on my list!  President Obama was sitting right next me; his big smile and warm eyes were taking in the room which was now filled with waitresses and waiters as the aroma of fresh baked breads, and for some reason, cinnamon, filled the air.  Noam Chomsky and Carole King were chatting amicably to my left.  Across from me, the Dalai Lama and Richard Dawkins were in deep discussion while Gloria Steinem and Lily Tomlin were laughing hysterically.

I felt as if I was somehow see-through…as if they were all solid and there but I was transparent.  Food was served on delicate silver trays.  I wish I could remember what the food was, (maybe my current diet is blocking the image from my mind).  The woman who had me arrange this time then entered the room through a crack in the wall.  She glanced around slowly as everyone looked toward her, even though she was in shadow.  Her voice was warm and kind as she expressed to everyone there how welcome they were.  She walked around the interior of the circle of chairs and tables and invited them to share their simplest secret, to share what they apparently already knew.  All their voices came together as one word, ‘ask’, filled the room.  Ask for opinions, ask for help, ask for guidance, and ask for the truth.  She then looked at me and suddenly I wasn’t transparent anymore.

With that, I woke up.  I have no idea what or who I am supposed to ask.  But I feel compelled to find out, so I am just putting the asking out there.

I suppose this dream will fade in time, but the task is reverberating in my head.  I guess this blog is not the same as most of my others, but it is just so strong in my own thinking today that I wanted to write it down.  Perhaps one of the things I am asking for is your indulgence in helping me think about all those I invited to this meal.  All are people I admire greatly.  All are people, including the bigger list, of personalities I would love to meet and have an in-depth discussion with about the world and how to work to make it a nicer, safer place.  I suppose it would be my dream to have these people assemble to work out the problems and lessen the hate.  

I hope you ask for and receive all your fondest dreams.