Yesterday Was My Birthday ~

Birthdays are odd things as you age.  I remember celebrating my birthday when I was young; every year was a badge of honor, a step toward being “grown-up”.  Every birthday included a big party with friends, balloons, cupcakes, and games.  It was truly a special event where the birthday girl or boy was the star for the day. 

Yesterday I turned 54 years old.  Fifty-four!!  My husband and I both took the day off from work and with my daughter and my mother we went for lunch at one of my favorite restaurants.  This Mexican restaurant has interesting, fun food, a festive colorful atmosphere, extremely nice, accommodating waiters, and it’s reasonably priced!  A winner!  

The rest of the day was fine, very nice in fact.  I received a heart-warming amount of birthday wishes on Facebook, my son called to wish me a Happy Birthday and told me he had enjoyed a successful day in his lab.  My daughter made it safely to see her boyfriend in New York after we shared the day together.  All in all it was a very nice day, but it got me thinking, and that’s always dangerous! 

When I think back to those early birthdays, I remember dreaming of what life would be like as a grown-up.  I remember thinking how great it would be to not have to go to school, to not have a bedtime, to wear high heels, to be sophisticated like the women in the movies.  Looking back, things were so simple.  There were only three real television channels to choose from, nothing could be taped, movies needed to be seen in a theater, telephones were attached to the wall and computers were science fiction stuff with blinking lights and tapes spinning round and round.  Cars had white-wall tires and landau roofs, the news was on for 15 minutes and it was just news, not commentary, and a baked potato took an hour to cook.  Popcorn didn’t come in microwavable bags, but jiffy pop was sure fun to watch cook as the bag expanded and the popcorn was ready to eat.

Those days are long gone, as are the days when my birthday garnered huge celebrations.  I suppose that’s good news.  The next time a birthday will be a big deal will be when old age (hopefully) sets in and everyone is amazed that a particular year has been hit!   But, having a birthday is still a milestone.  It still causes me to reflect on how life changes.  They say the one constant in life is change, and that certainly is true.

My husband and I are entering into the “empty-nester” time of our lives.  Being Mom was always the major, most important part of my life.  From the moment my children entered the world, they were and are the center of my universe.  They are still a most important, vital part of my life, but, as it should be, they are now their own people with their own lives and it is up to me to move to the side…still there, but now following their lead. 

It is kind of an odd time to be without a full time job.  I find that since the day I was laid off, I have so much more time to think and try to focus my time on building a new life, a life that focuses on my interests which I can now pursue whole-heartedly.  I write because I love to write, I work retail because I love being with people, need to get out of the house, and can’t find an office job.  All of these things contribute to my time of change.  


Our house now feels very big and empty, so we are thinking of downsizing.  But where should we go?  How will my Mom adjust?  What will we do with all our stuff?   Thirty-two years of marriage means a lot of accumulated odds and ends, some crap, some valuable, some just plain sentimental!  What do we clean out, give away, sell, and keep?  With every appliance in the house breaking the last few weeks, it’s as if the house is telling us it’s time to leave.  This house, which I have lived in longer than any other one place, is home.  This house is where my children grew up, where we have so many memories of summers in the pool, where our dog, Pumpkin, played and then, when she passed away, where we brought our little dog, Popcorn, home. 

This is the house where my children went from needing me all the time, to being self-sufficient.  It’s where my parents moved in when my Dad was facing open-heart surgery for the first time and thought he wouldn’t make it through and it’s where my Dad died two years ago.  We’ve celebrated graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, and enjoyed snowstorms when schools were closed and we baked all day.  It’s where we would burn candles when the lights went out and where we huddled together under throw blankets and watched movies.

This house has held so many wonderful family events, so many celebrations with friends, so many Halloweens, Valentine’s Days, religious celebrations, and New Year’s parties.  How do I say goodbye to all these things? 

My birthday was yesterday.  It came and went like every other day, heading to the future.  I understand that all we have is the now and that’s why it’s called the present, and it is a great gift.  So, I guess the trick to birthdays when you’re older is to take the memories of the little girl, mix them with the memories of the young mom, add a bit of the working woman, then putting it all into the blender and seeing what ingredients are still to be added.

I hope the future holds enough spice to be interesting, enough sugar to be sweet and a proper balance of everything so each bite can be savored.

My personal recipe for a happy birthday is to be thankful for all the ingredients in my life, for when all is said and done, each ingredient on its own yearns for more, but when put together in the right measure, they make for one amazingly delicious, fulfilling, nourishing experience. 

I want to thank all those in my life who are so integral to my world.  You add life to each day and your love and support is the key, which unlocks my potential.  My life may be at least half over, but I am eager to see where the next half leads. I hope that when I look back after the luck of a few more birthdays I find that I have continued to grow into a stronger, more confident, helpful, giving addition to this world which has given me so much!

Every day is a birthday of sorts, so celebrate life with all its beauty and love and always cherish those you hold most dear!