Saturday, October 29, 2011

Trick....or Treat.....?



The frost is on the pumpkin…literally.  The snow started falling around 10 AM this morning and by the time I am writing this, 3 PM, the roads are slippery and dangerous. It’s too early for this, barely autumn! We still have our screen doors in and the leaves on our trees are just beginning to change color!

To be honest, I remember very cold Halloween nights when I was young; trick-or-treating with a heavy coat covering my costume.  No matter how much I would argue with my Mom about the necessity to wear a coat, she always won, and I was always happy about her winning once I walked along for a few minutes.  But snow on Halloween?  I never remember this before and Halloween isn’t even until Monday!  The snow is piling up outside, the freezing rain is pelting against the window, it’s nasty and cold to the bone even in the house! 

They say the storm will only last for the day and that by Monday, when the trick-or-treaters come door-to-door, it should be more in keeping with October weather. But, will the princesses, witches, ghosts and goblins have to wear snow boots for walking across the lawns? 

For those who don’t choose to listen to the science that is quite proven and clear, how about simply opening your eyes?  The weather is consistently crazy these last few years and getting even crazier as time moves along.  Hurricanes in the Northeast United States…snow storms in October…excessive, over 100 degree heat daily, in July followed by constant,heavy, torrential rain in August…snowmaggedon multiple times last winter?  Let’s be real, the climate is changing and it’s time to do all we can to stop and then reverse this trend.

The trick is to outsmart the lobbyists fighting to keep their outrageous profits flowing at the expense of all mankind.  We need to encourage using an energy source that does not further damage the environment and encourage some new company, or even an existing one, to produce clean energy and provide jobs while saving the environment for our children and our children’s children.  Denying the existence of what is real doesn’t change reality; it only further destroys and damages making the fix that much harder.  It is absolutely time, today, to stop denying what is in our faces, the snow that is falling on our pumpkins. We need to accept the truth and stop allowing ourselves to be tricked by big oil companies whose convenient “science” flies in the face of reality.  Once we move in the clean energy direction, we can move forward and succeed in building a cleaner, safer environment for everyone - and that will truly be a real treat for us all!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Interview with William Bertram MacFarland, author of "Back Channel - The Kennedy Years"



My interview with Mr. MacFarland was extremely interesting.  Mr. MacFarland is truly a patriot.  He is someone who exhibits intelligence and bravery and I am proud to have had the opportunity to communicate with him.

I hope you find the interview interesting.  Please look for his book on Amazon, it’s a definite must read!!

What made you feel compelled to write these volumes at this time?

Well, for one thing, I’m certainly not getting any younger but much more importantly; I think Americans need to understand how their government really works.  It’s important that the public be given the facts so that they are motivated to get involved and actively participate.

What are the main themes you hope to get across to the readers?

1.    On a personal level, I wanted to express my shock and anger at being betrayed by my own government and my deep disappointment in subsequently realizing that all governments, very much including our own, are truly amoral.
2.    I wanted to portray JFK as the courageous and caring person that he really was.
3.    I wanted people to understand how strongly Chairman Khrushchev was being urged by some of his top military advisors during the Cuban missile crises to make a devastating nuclear first strike on the United States.
4.    I wanted to show what the Vietnamese people thought about the United States military presence in their country and why we should have known from the outset that the war there could never have been won by us.

How was JFK different from other Presidents you worked with?  

He was much more open and honest than any other President I worked for.  He genuinely cared more for the good of the nation than he did for his own re-election.  He was incredibly courageous.  During the Cuban Missile Crisis, he steadfastly resisted the advice of his two top official advisors – the Secretaries of State and Defense – (and on at least two occasions that I am personally aware of, the advice of his top unofficial advisor – his brother Bobby, the U.S. Attorney General) to carry out “precision” air attacks on the Soviet missile silos but instead continued his tough negotiating stance with the Chairman of the Soviet Union – Nikita Khrushchev.  By doing so, he arrived at a peaceful resolution of a situation that avoided the nuclear war that Khrushchev’s top military advisors were advocating.

Secondly, he was the only President who became a close personal friend and invited me to become a member of his extended family.  He was the only President who invited me for extended stays as a guest in his homes in Hyannis Port and Palm Beach and who introduced me to his mother - (who I loved and spent considerable time talking to).

He almost always asked me to attend his meetings with top administration officers.  My function was to observe, synthesize and distill the factual, attitudinal and emotional essence of the meeting and to present it to him in private after the meeting ended.  He truly valued those analyses.

Subsequent Presidents mostly regarded me in the same way that a surgeon regards a scalpel – an indispensable tool, which must be used in surgical situations, but a tool that is extremely dangerous and must be handled with great care.  I accumulated rather inordinate power due to my vast network of contacts and “insider” knowledge of so many administrations.  I think some Presidents were actually afraid of me.

What qualities do you look for in choosing someone to be in such a powerful position?

If you are referring to Presidents, honesty, intelligence, transparency, a proven track record as a top administrator, reflective and measured responses to challenges, etc. - but first and foremost - a total willingness to sacrifice his political life for the good of the nation.

Is the President truly powerful or are other forces more powerful?

It is the Congress of the United States that has the power of the purse – and what a power that is!  The President has no power to spend any public funds that have not been appropriated to his control by Congress.  The Supreme Court also has enormous power as well.  Society has been monumentally changed by their decisions which, for example, eliminated segregation, legalized abortion, forced police to read a detainee his/her rights before being questioned (the Miranda decision), and prohibited the government from restricting corporations from making unlimited contributions to political campaigns.  In some sense, the Presidency is the weakest of the three supposedly co-equal branches of government.  In actuality however, the President can be much more powerful than the other two branches – by far.  It depends on the President himself.  His Constitutionally given authority to be Commander-in-Chief of the nation’s military forces is a formidable power but he assumes his most potent role when he acts effectively as the Convincer-in-Chief.  The President has unparalleled access to the public.  He is seen internationally as both the head of government and the head of state.  (In England, for example, the King/Queen is the head of State but the Prime Minister is the head of government.)  If the President can convince the people that he/she is a true leader whose practical but visionary plans will help the nation grow and prosper, there is almost nothing that can stand in his way.  It’s really up to the President.

Is there anything else you want your readers to know?

It always amazes me that JFK was the only U.S. President involved in the Vietnam war to send someone out to sit down with and talk to the Vietnamese people.  After Siddhi and I had spent two weeks talking with the village elders in villages all the way from the Delta in the south to nearly the demarcation line between North and South Vietnam, it was crystal clear that the South Vietnamese people wanted no part of a puppet government under the strong influence, if not outright control of, the United States.  Most people don't know much about Ho Chi Minh but he was a fascinating figure.  As a child he learned classical Chinese writing but also wrote fluently in colloquial Vietnamese.  He was educated in the French lycée in Hué.  In 1912, working as a cook's helper on a ship, he traveled to the U.S. and stayed for two years living first in Harlem and then in Boston.  He also lived in west London at various times from 1913 to 1919.  He lived in Paris, Moscow and China as well.

He was an ardent nationalist and dedicated his life to ensure that Vietnam would become a single, united country.  He was a brilliant, zealous, charismatic leader.  The United States has never seemed to learn that you can't bomb an idea.


Friday, October 21, 2011

Memories - Take a Mental Picture!!



Many years ago, 32 to be exact, I was both excited and nervous about my upcoming wedding.  All the planning, the people, the details – the thought of it all coming together was overwhelming!  Being that I am not the calmest of people, those who know me understand that is probably an understatement, I was a wreck thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong.

About two weeks before my wedding, I was watching television when a commercial for a fever blister medication, Campho-phenique, was aired.  My luck, the commercial highlighted a woman all dressed in her beautiful wedding gown, however, she suffered from a horrific, huge, protruding fever blister.  This blister transformed a most lovely bride with her beautiful hair and amazing figure into the bride of Frankenstein!  If it could turn this model of a woman into an ugly beast, oh my, I was doomed!!  Well, being the hypochondriac I am, I was certain I would have a horrific, huge, protruding, grotesque fever blister on MY wedding day!  There was no way around it…. or was there?

My cousin, Kenny, who has since passed away far too young, was a kind, thoughtful, talented dentist.  Being the brilliant young woman I was I assumed he would know a way to prevent fever blisters.  (After all, my lips were NEAR my teeth!)  I called him in a panic and asked his advice.  He tried to calm my fears, told me there was such a slim chance of my getting a fever blister on any particular day.  However, in order for me to have something in my mind, to bolster my feeling of being “in control”, he told me that perhaps if I put an ice cube to my lips for a short period of time in the morning and at night, it might help.  Kenny believed that advice would hold a placebo effect for me, he assumed, for some unknown reason, I was somewhat normal. 

However, he also added another bit of advice that was far more important to my life, a piece of advice I still take to heart at special times of even ordinary days.  Kenny told me that the wedding would fly by.  He told me to absorb all the feelings of the day, feelings from everyone there but especially from those most important to me.  In his wisdom, he told me to take a few, special, mental pictures.  His advice was to find my parents, my brothers, my closest friends and family and block out everything but the look on their faces and really take note of them at that moment.  Thanks to Kenny, I have those mental pictures in my mind.  I don’t need a photo album or any other device to see their happy faces.

As for the fever blister…well, that advice, although meant well, was naturally something I took to an absurd extreme.  I believed if a little ice twice a day would help keep a blister away, then obviously keeping ice on my lips constantly would definitely keep the blister away…. right?  Well, that’s what I did!  For four days before my wedding, whenever I was home, I kept an ice cube plastered to my lips.  Naturally, I gave myself a horrific, protruding, huge fever blister!  Yes I did!

Luckily, because it was self-imposed damage, it was only on my lip and easily concealed by lipstick.  (After I drove my Dad crazy driving around the suburbs asking every pharmacist what would take the blister away now that it was there…. Answer, nothing!)  

So, the moral of this story is two-fold.  Most importantly, take note of the now.  Physical pictures are irreplaceable and extremely important and worthwhile, but a mental picture will keep you company forever and help you remember to appreciate the “Now” as Eckert Tolle calls it, while it is happening.  The mental picture, when thought of, comes with the added bonus of the memory of the fresh emotions as they were felt at that special moment.  Without that mental exercise, I think the entire day, in retrospect, would have been a complete blur.  Instead, 32 years later, the images I concentrated on remembering are alive in my mind and can be thought of anytime and anywhere.

The second moral of the story, when talking to an insane, hypochondriac…remember, you are talking to an insane hypochondriac!


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Rainy, Wet Start to the Day!




The rain was pounding against the windows.  Leaves were blowing off the trees then sticking to the driveway and the road as if they were glued.  I grabbed my raincoat headed out the door, running to the car to minimize the wetness.  (My umbrella was nowhere to be found!)  The car was a welcome place of dryness.  As I backed out of the driveway, a huge gust of wind blew our neighbor’s trashcan right smack into my back bumper!  After putting the car in park, I ran out to check the bumper, luckily, by some miracle, it was fine.  The trashcan was drenched and the lid, which had blown off, was full of dirty water.  I picked it up hastily and the water poured down my pants leg.  Blech!

I schlepped the trashcan up their driveway and on my way running back to the car, I slipped on one of those leaves and landed flat on my back with the rain pelting me in the face.  This was not a great start to the day.

As smoothly as I could, I picked myself up off the ground.  Luckily, only my pride was hurt. I WALKED back into the garage as I was already soaked and then tiptoed into the house leaving a trail of dirty water on the foyer floor.  I had to get a towel and dry off – after quickly changing my slacks.

After cleaning up as best I could, and wiping the foyer floor, too, I went back out to the car…carefully. 

Okay now…heading to work.  The day is not starting off very well, but hey, let’s hope it goes up from here!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Coming Soon - An Interview with Back Channel author, William Bertram MacFarland



I am absolutely thrilled and excited to be giving everyone a heads up for an interview I will be posting in the near future with William Bertram MacFarland, the author of  Back Channel: The Kennedy Years

After reading the book, which you may purchase through Amazon.com, I was beyond impressed with the patriotism, intelligence, and bravery of Bertie Mac.   The book is a fast-paced, amazing read and is unbelievably only the first volume of the series!  The facts revealed in this book will make the hair stand up on the back of your neck.  Reading the details of Bertie Mac’s entrance into the world of international secrets, his encounters and personal relationships with so many varied high ranking public officials from John F. Kennedy on down will keep you turning pages until, when you reach the end, you’ll be counting down the days until the next volume is published!  

Due to privacy concerns, I will not be able to meet with Mr. MacFarland in person, but we have devised a way for him to answer questions.  I will not edit his responses in any way.  Also, if you read the book in the very near future, feel free to forward your questions for Bertie Mac to me through my blog! There is still time to submit questions as our interview is ongoing!

I highly recommend that you purchase a copy of Back Channel.  I am confident, you will thank me.  The book will open your mind more than you can believe.  You will realize that what you have been told to believe is not even close to being the full story.  However, if your experience with this book is anything at all like mine and my son's (who also read and thoroughly marveled at the book), you will learn to question everything.  You will see the need to look beyond what is made available to you and to always remember that the man or woman living in our White House, NEEDS to be as intelligent and compassionate as humanly possible.  That special, powerful house is NOT a place for selfish, greedy, egomaniacal fools.

In the meantime, please check out William’s website:  www.bertiemac.com.  Once on the website, do yourself a favor and order a copy of the book.  You won’t be sorry.




Wednesday, October 12, 2011

An Upside to Alzheimer's?




I’ve been married for almost 32 years.  (Naturally, I was an infant bride.)  Through most of my married life and the year before, I have to say that my Mother-in-law was not fond of me.  Right after I became engaged, my future in-laws invited me to dinner.  I remember sitting at the table and my mother-in-law turning to my husband and saying, “You know who I bumped into today?  Leslie…. you know, the girl I wanted you to marry!!”  How do you respond to that?  Being that I was only 20 years-old at the time, I just sat silently.

Incidents like that happened frequently.  Another prime example happened five years later.  I was in the hospital having just given birth to my daughter.  I was still numb from the epidural and my hormones were certainly a bit crazy.  My in-laws came to see the baby.  My husband and my father-in-law walked to the nursery.  My mother-in-law stayed behind to have a little chat with me.  I remember her pulling a chair next to the bed.  I still couldn’t move at all, my legs were completely paralyzed from the anesthetic.  She whispered to me that she and “Dad” had just made up their wills.  She told me that she left me her engagement ring.  I was touched, but apparently that emotion was felt too soon. She went on to say…”However, WHEN her son divorces me, the ring is to go to my daughter.”

My husband and his Dad returned to the room to find my tears flowing.  My Mother-in-law told them I was emotional because she had just let me know she left her engagement ring to me in their will.  She neglected to finish the statement.

I was treated as a “non-blooder” the name they gave to any in-law. Needless to say, the more they treated me as a “non-blooder”, the more I acted as a “non-blooder”.  Over the years, the dysfunction was therefore on all sides.  There was never any closeness felt toward them or by them.  I let my husband deal with his family.  We invited them to family events and were always polite…but close, not a chance.

Fast forward to a few years ago when symptoms of Alzheimer’s began to show up.  My Mother-in-law would repeat things over and over again.  Most of the time, we thought she simply wasn’t paying attention.   They lived 2,000 miles away when the disease first manifested, so our interactions were not frequent and usually over the phone, not in person.  My Father-in-law covered for her very well, made excuses for her lack of retention, so we didn’t think much of it.

After the housing collapse in Florida, my in-laws moved back up north.  We thought it was simply a financial decision.  However, after they arrived we realized it was much more.

My Mother-in-law had been officially diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s disease.  Although she never liked me, I can honestly state she was always a strong-willed, fiercely determined woman.  Now, quite to the contrary, she is completely docile.  She still remembers who we are, but cannot keep straight what we are doing.  My husband and I invite them for dinner at least once a week.  These dinners have become quite the experience.  One thing Alzheimer’s has accomplished, which I never could, is my Mother-in-law now likes me!  It seems she has forgotten whatever reason she didn’t like me to begin with! 

I have to admit, that is a bright side!

She is now kind, thoughtful and considerate.  She asks, (albeit multiple times) if she can help in the kitchen.  She asks how I am, what’s new…and she honestly seems concerned and interested in the answer!

When looking for a bright side to this horrific disease, I must admit I have found that Alzheimer’s removes layers of baggage.  Since she is no longer capable of masking her feelings, perhaps my mother-in-law really didn’t dislike me all along! Perhaps there were other issues, more complex ones, that kept her from truly welcoming me to the family.  Just that thought lets me feel better and allows me to soften towards her.  And for her, I hope she feels confident that I was, after everything, a good choice for her son.  I wish her that peace.

Thirty-two years is a long time.  The span provides a view that offers a big picture look at relationships.  Naturally, my in-laws love their son.  I hope that perhaps because of my mother-in-law’s sickness, they can now see past the lines of defense that were previously set up and realize that I’m not that bad after all.  At least on most days~

Monday, October 10, 2011

Being Dependent on the Undependable!



For some reason I went a bit crazy cleaning the kitchen this morning.  I started with the stovetop and proceeded to the granite and then the kitchen sink.  This then led to a mopping of the kitchen floor.  That’s what happens when I start cleaning, something I usually postpone.  Once I get started, one thing leads to the next, and I find myself cleaning like the energizer bunny, only without the drum.

Well, this morning I was on a roll, and if I’d had a drum I would have beaten it.  By the time I had to leave for work, the kitchen looked pretty darn good!  I was pleased. I picked up my cell phone, which had been sitting safely on the kitchen table so it wouldn’t get wet, and checked for messages.  I found that an email had come through and so I tried to scroll to it with my Blackberry…the pain in the neck button wouldn’t respond.  I thought maybe my hands were damp, so I dried them again on a towel and returned to the Blackberry.  It still wouldn’t respond.  Getting anxious, I put the phone down for a minute just to let it chill out.  Maybe it was angry with me for cleaning and not paying attention to it all morning.  After about 30 seconds, which was all I could wait, I picked it up and magically, the ridiculously inconsistent button worked!  Thinking the whole thing was a fluke, I answered the email, grabbed my pocketbook and headed out for the store.

My daughter and I were both working today, although she was due in the store a few hours before me.  I love when we work together.  Anyway, once I arrived in the store, I put my phone in my back pocket, as always, and proceeded to assist the customers. 

The Manager left for the day and I was in charge.  After she left she realized she had something to tell me, so she sent a text.  My phone rang, as it should.  I took it out of my back pocket and tried to scroll over to open the text.  The (expletive removed) button would not respond. I truly believed I was doing something stupid or had somehow messed the phone up during my cleaning rampage. My daughter is my electronics guru and I thought for certain she would be able to get it to work for me.  She always does!  When I realized even she couldn’t get that stupid track thing to move, I could feel myself getting shaky; my brain flying off in a thousand directions! How will I be contacted if someone needs me?  How will I contact people if I need them?  What will they think if they can’t reach me?  How do I notify everyone that I am out of touch?

It was then that my Blackberry started doing extremely odd things.  The screen turned white, then it came back.  An icon appeared in the corner that was never there before.  It was as if it was possessed!!  This was already a replacement Blackberry for one that only lasted 6 months…. now, 10 months later…more problems!  I took the battery out, put it back, THREE times!  My daughter rebooted the phone, TWICE!  Nothing worked!

There is a Radio Shack store in the same strip center where I work and luckily one of the nice men who work there came in to buy a soda just after our second reboot!  I showed him my phone and saw the pity flash in his eyes.  The phone was gone, he told me.  It was time to say good-bye.

My daughter sent a text to my husband and my son to tell them my phone was dead and that if they needed me, to call her.  I felt so completely cut off from society!  No Facebook, no email, no texts!!  I am so dependent on being in touch at all times!  This was simply intolerable!  It’s amazing how dependent I’ve become on this undependable device!!

Luckily, my husband was off from work today – funny how that happens, when I need him – he’s there.  He offered to take my phone to the Verizon store and see if there was something that could be done today.  Before coming by, he charged an older Blackberry that we had in the house, a brilliant move as it turned out!!  He stopped by my store and picked up my phone.  I felt so lost, even having the dead Blackberry in my pocket made me felt better than having no phone at all!!

After my husband arrived at the Verizon store, he called my daughter’s phone to tell us my phone was definitely gone, there was simply nothing that could be done to save it.  My options were, since it was still under warranty, to get a replacement phone for no cost, which they conveniently did not have in stock, buy the next model up, which would cost an extra $250, or switch to an iPhone.  However, the iPhone in stock was not the new model coming out this Friday and not the lowest model, which they were out of, but another model which would cost me $150 out of pocket and an additional $15 a month for a more complete data plan. 

Being that I am not working where I earn what I used to earn, the thought of spending so much more right this minute was not appealing.  So, luckily, with my daughter’s old Blackberry fully charged and in hand, they switched my service to that phone and will mail me a replacement phone – of the same crappy caliber that my previous two phones have been.  I should have my new crappy but necessary phone in a few days. 

Really, Blackberry…you don’t have to freak out just because I was cleaning!!  And, to everyone out there – call me.  My buttons may now be old, but they’re working!!  (For now.)

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Son!!




Twenty-three years ago tonight, I ate a steak sandwich with fried onions and tomato sauce.  Now, being that I live near Philadelphia that may not seem very noteworthy, however, I was 9-months pregnant at the time, and that is what makes it so memorable. 

I was due to give birth any time.  My obstetrician had told me for the two weeks prior that I should eat light because I was “ready” to go.  So, for two weeks I ate a lot of scrambled eggs, toast, and soup.  I didn’t go into labor.  By this time, I was sure I wasn’t going to give birth at all!!  So, I couldn’t resist any longer, I ate a steak sandwich.

Within a half hour of devouring the sandwich, twinges began.  I was in my Mom and Dad’s apartment at the time.  My 5-year-old daughter was coloring.  The twinges turned into real labor pains and before I knew it, my husband and I were on our way to the hospital.

During the drive to the hospital, we needed to travel a street that held many memories for me.  We passed the spot were "Teen and Twenty" once stood.  A store where I used to buy all my special occasion dresses.  I remember buying my prom dress there, going for fittings, such happy memories.  From that spot we passed Oswald Drugstore, a landmark store that had been there for decades.  Just being on that street was comforting, even though the pains were coming more and more frequently.

My husband and I arrived at the hospital; my daughter had stayed with my parents in their apartment.  I asked my husband not to drop me off, I didn't want to be left alone.  I told him I was fine to walk.  So, he parked the car and together we walked into the hospital, stopping along the way when a contraction hit.  I remember leaning on him at one point and thinking this walking thing was not my brightest idea.  (Especially when I noticed the hill I needed to climb!)  But, onwards and upwards we went!

I remember being ushered into the birthing room by a curly-haired nurse in a blue uniform.  It was a new idea at the time to not necessarily deliver in an operating room unless one was warranted.  The birthing room looked like a regular hospital room, television and all.  By this time, the 11 o’clock news was just about to start.  I wondered if the fact that I had gone into labor would be the top story, it certainly was to me!

My labor went very fast and there wasn’t even time for medications to take effect.  During David Letterman’s monologue, my son was welcomed into this world!  My son!!  Our son!!  The complete joy of that moment is something I always hold in my heart.  I can still see the tear that flew over the bed as my husband, who had been next to me holding my hand, heard the announcement that we now had a boy, a son.  The doctor lifted my son and as she placed him gently in my arms, I could have sworn I had just given birth to my father.  My son’s newly born face looked so much like my Dad!

We were allowed to remain in the room, just the 3 of us, for a little while, to bond.  As if my son didn’t already own my heart!  I asked for a phone (cell phones didn’t exist yet) and called my parents.  I asked them if my beautiful daughter was still awake.  Thankfully, she was, as she couldn’t fall asleep being that she was so excited!  They put her on the phone and I told her she now had a baby brother.  She was overjoyed, and still is!!  I can still hear the happiness in her little voice!!  My parents were laughing and crying and with that I had to hang up.  They said they’d see us all very soon.

From that minute on, my son has been a source of pride, love, joy and everything wonderful.  He puts up with my worrying and has the most amazing sense of humor.  He is brilliant and kind and cares about the world.  He loves learning and loves travelling.  He appreciates varied cultures, knows more geography than anyone I've ever met and excels at everything he puts his mind to.  He is living 4 hours away now, with his beautiful girlfriend.  He is working hard, working toward his PhD, so that one day he might find himself working with a team that finds a cure for Cancer.  I couldn’t be more proud.

Twenty-three years ago tonight, the world was made a better, more beautiful, place.  It may not have made the news that night, but my son has brightened every minute of my life since that miraculous time.

Happy Birthday, Babe!  I love you with all my heart.  I wish you a full, long, lifetime of good health, love, success and happiness – may all the joy, love, happiness and inspiration you bring every day come back to you always!

Rosh Hashanah Stuffing



Never from scratch…the stuffing was never made from scratch.  As a matter of fact, even though I consider myself a fairly decent cook, to this day I have no clue how to make stuffing from scratch.  Every year the stuffing mix was purchased and prepared “according to package instructions”,   Naturally, we did need to fix it up.  After all, everything could always use a bit of sprucing up!

My cousin, Ellen, and I were in charge of chopping.  We would be given onions and celery and were told to chop away until our eyes could take no more.  With tears flowing and eyes burning we chopped until everything given us was cut into little pieces.  Our Grandmother used to tell us this was a great way to rid ourselves of any negative feelings, any frustrations, heading into the New Year.  (We thought it was a way for us to do the chopping…..) But anyway, we would chop and chop and then sauté the onions and celery with a little oil and butter.  Then the stuffing mix, which was already prepared by either our Grandmother or one of our Moms, would be added to the onions and celery.  At that point, Ellen and I would have to take peelers and peel long pieces of carrot into the mixture, adding a little chicken broth to keep everything moist. 

One year, we asked our Grandmother if it was really necessary to go to the trouble of chopping onions and celery and then adding the carrot.  We told her our Moms make stuffing all through the year as a side dish and when they do, they rarely add anything additional.  The stuffing was still very good.   (And that was when we weren’t crazy busy cooking four thousand other things!)  She looked at us with love, and with a few splashes of dried water clouding her glasses, and told us the story of the importance of the stuffing.  This was one story we had never heard before.

The stuffing, since it is not from scratch, shows that ordinary things can be, should always be, appreciated.  They may be enjoyed on an every day basis and they may certainly add to the goodness of the day.  BUT, she continued, on a holiday, you take the ordinary and transform it into the extraordinary.  You give everything your all and make the everyday, something special, something out of this world.  To the best of your ability, you focus on each aspect of the dinner, as you should always focus on each aspect of your life, and you do all you can to make each bit as wonderful as possible, even if it means shedding a few tears.

Monday, October 3, 2011

A Timeless Turkey Tale



The story telling that centered around the turkey was different from all the other holiday dishes since it didn’t take place at the dinner table.  This story was special and was told during the preparation stage.  At other times of the year, Thanksgiving, special anniversaries, the turkey could be prepared many different ways, with a variety of flavorings and herbs, from barbeque to citrus, the dressings and cooking techniques could vary.  However, for the holidays there was only one way to make a turkey, roasted with a cavity filled with aromatic vegetables and skin basted with a constant smattering of butter along with the gravy produced as the turkey cooked.  I can still picture my Grandmother, Mother and Aunt Betty in the kitchen cutting carrots, celery and onion.  They would tightly pack the inside cavity of the bird (after a good dose of salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder).  The turkey would sit regally in the pan with room for the juices to flow underneath and a well-greased piece of aluminum foil to sit loosely on the top.  The first hour of cooking, the bird would cook in a very hot oven in order to give it a boost.  The temperature would later be turned down a bit so the bird could finish cooking more gently.  The turkey was never to sit directly on the bottom of the roasting dish, because it’s never good to “stew in your own juices”!  My family always believed that stewing in your own thoughts only brought about anger and fear, so it would make sense that they suggested that would make for a ‘tough bird’. 

Now the reason the holiday bird had to have the carrot, the onion and the celery, aside from the taste, was really a stretch, but it was what I was repeatedly told growing up.  The carrot was to signify that ‘the elusive carrot’, the fact that what you are dreaming of and wishing for is already with you, even though you may not realize it.  Each of us should be grateful for what is, for the present, the now.  The elusive carrot is a myth, the goodness and sweetness of life is already inside you if you would just take notice.  The onion, well, once an onion is cooked, it no longer makes you cry, so there was the hope that the new year should contain no more tears.  Even painful times, however, may be transformed into something that eventually adds goodness. The celery, this was the funniest of all.  After all, “you should always get an increase in your celery”!!

The seasonings were never really discussed except that the arguments would go back and forth as to whether there was enough.  My Grandmother could never have enough salt.   If I didn’t know better, I would think she was responsible for the Morton Salt saying, ‘when it rains it pours’, because when she was in control, it sure did!!

The butter and gravy that would be used to baste the turkey, gently and carefully, for as long as the turkey cooked signified the reality that all through life you need to take care, stay covered and don’t dry up - keep wetting your appetite for knowledge. It also illustrated that sometimes situations required a bit of “buttering up”.  Keeping an eye on the turkey and keeping it moist for as long as it cooked was equated with taking care of yourself and your loved ones all through your life.  Don’t ever take your eyes off what is important, don’t forget to pay attention, for if you do, you could, heaven forbid, turn into a shriveled up, tough old bird!



The Cranberry Sauce

The cranberry sauce doesn’t have its own page since the cranberry sauce is rarely served.  It is the forgotten part of most of our holiday dinners.  We would eat dinner and when clearing the dishes from the table, someone would always yell out, “We left the cranberry sauce in the refrigerator!”  At that point, my Dad would always say, “we’ll just have to start again!”  Everyone would laugh.

The cranberry sauce was the comic relief.  It was the break in the action that signified a time out.  By not being served, the cranberry sauce was the constant reminder that no single year will serve everything possible.  It was the constant striving that next year would be complete.  After all, the desire to work for everything you want is important, but always remember that even when something is missing, you should still be fulfilled by what you have.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Merging Goodness of the Sweet and Sour Meatballs



A universal favorite.  Everyone, from the smallest toddler to the most elderly family member, enjoys sweet and sour meatballs.  They represent the ying and the yang.  Two opposite parts of the flavor spectrum that force a unique blending, one that wakes up the taste buds and makes them take notice.  My Grandmother would always return to the roundness of the balls.  She concentrated on the circle of life, the rich circle that in this case encompasses all different types of people, of personalities, yet maintains a powerful excellence.  Smothered in a tasty sauce and having cooked for hours, the two distinct tastes compliment each other.  This analogy was extended to two distinct people merging into one family, as in a marriage.  Each person should maintain their unique, individual flavor (personality) while at the same time blending into something new, something completely different and special.  If one person in a relationship would surrender who they are, allowing the other person to overpower them, nothing new, special, surprising or unique could develop.  The sweet and sour meatballs signify the goodness of intermingling.  The truly inspiring, positive outcome that can only occur when differences are reconciled, compromises are made; yet integrity is kept.

The recipe for these meatballs may be found previously posted....hope you enjoy them!