Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Last Day of August



Well, its been a great summer!  It began with a cruise and it will end with what is planned to be “Rib Fest” 2011, a gathering of amazing friends, loving family and superb food! 

In between these events, there were job interviews, sunny days by the pool, earthquakes and hurricanes, moving my son to Grad school, lunching with my daughter, loss of electricity, gaining of appreciation for my present job and listening to the birds sing. 

I love listening to the birds sing.  They were just at it a moment ago, but it is as if though they know I am writing about them and so they have quieted down. Perhaps their song is meant to be private. 

As I sit here, waiting for the birds to once again begin their serenade, I can’t help but think of all the changes this summer has ushered in.  My son moving away is the most major of the changes.  I’ve written about it before, but it definitely has altered everything.  I am so happy for him, but I miss him.  He is such good company when he’s home.  He’s funny and smart, we talk about life, politics, science and social issues.  He is dedicated to science and using it to make life healthier for everyone.  His girlfriend is supportive, intelligent, and beautiful.  I am so proud of him, of both of them.

My daughter and I enjoyed so many fun times this summer.  With me being under-employed, the shopping trips are less, but the times we spend just sitting together by the pool are some of the best of the summer.  We tanned and swam and talked for hours on end.  She is a teacher and she will be a great teacher this coming year!  Her love for children and her enjoyment watching them learn is inspiring.  I know that soon she and her boyfriend will be moving to a home together and I am so happy for her, for both of them.  He is such a great guy and they are very in-love.  Seeing them together is wonderful and makes my heart smile.  But, when she moves out, I will miss her with all my heart.  It will be just my husband and I, and my mom then, time marches on.

Empty nesters.  My husband and I will be empty nesters.  When did we get this old?  We were just the young ones, having young children, busy with the first day of school and Halloween parades, now, we are heading toward over 55 communities!

Judging by how quickly time has moved along, I see that there truly is no time like the present.  I read Eckert Tolle and “The Power of Now” years ago, but it has recently hit me that my ‘nows’ are fewer and I have to make the best use of them.  No one knows how much time we have in this world, but as we age, we definitely know the time is dwindling.  I hope to make the most of this day, and every day.  I hope to be sure those I love know I love them, deeply and truly.  I want to be certain to appreciate all the beauty that surrounds me and open my arms and my heart to what will hopefully be a productive, happy time, even as times are certainly changing.

Change can bring new joys, and new experiences to treasure.  Hey, the birds are singing again!! What a beautiful sound!


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Today, I had lunch………



I originally took today off from work to go on a second interview, the interview from the story written on this blog earlier today.  However, since I decided that position was not for me, today was a free day, wide-open for sharing with my daughter and my Mom.

A few weeks ago, my daughter and I went to a terrific Mexican restaurant for lunch.  We've been thinking about the great food since that time and decided today was the perfect day to go back and enjoy another feast!  My Mom, my daughter and I sat at the beautifully ornate table and talked about the food, the surroundings, the music, it was relaxing and very enjoyable.  After lunch, as I was driving home, the Harry Chapin song, “The Cat’s in the Cradle” came on the radio.  I started singing along, but before I knew it, my voice left me and tears fell from my eyes.  I wiped them away before anyone noticed, but the song really hit home.  That particular song always reminds me of a story someone told me a long time ago.  I don’t know where the story came from, but it’s one I always hold close to my heart.

The story begins with little boy asking his Dad how much money he earns per hour.  The Dad wonders why the question is being asked, but simply answers (and this story was told to me a LONG time ago) $20 per hour.  The father then returns to reading his paper. 

The little boy then asks his father if he could borrow ten dollars.  The father becomes angry at not only the constant interruption when he’s trying to relax, but also the fact that his son apparently just wanted money for something, probably some silly game that 'all the kids' are playing!

The father yells at his son, tells him to leave him alone.  He goes on to say he needs to relax and tells his son to go to his room.  With tears in his eyes, the little boy sadly climbs the stairs to his room. 

After calming down, the father reflects on the situation and decides to go to his son’s room, perhaps he really needs the money for something important.  So he walks into his son’s room.  He sees his son has fallen asleep, fully dressed, and wakes him gently.  He offers him the ten dollars and is about to ask why he needs it when his son reaches under his pillow and pulls out 10 crumpled dollar bills. 

Now the father is really angry.  “Why did you ask me for money when you already have money under your pillow?”  The little boy looks at his Dad and says he needed the other $10 because without it, he didn’t have enough.  “Enough for what?” his father asks. 

“Enough to buy an hour of your time.”, his son states.

This story, which someone shared with me, so long ago, is always in my heart and mind.  There is nothing more precious than time with my children.  Nothing.  No matter how stressed, how crazy life gets, the greatest gift, one that requires no money, is time shared.  I am so thankful for all the times my children share with me. 

To my wonderful children, I love you.




Interview Update



With all the excitement about Hurricane Irene, I forgot to write about last week's interview!  This was the first interview I've attended where I decided the job was not for me.  Afterward, after further discussion with family and close friends, I cancelled the second interview that was set for today.  There is no point wasting their time or mine.

Now that I’ve given away the ending, I’ll explain the story…

Last Thursday morning I donned my interview suit, printed copies of my resume and references, and drove to the bank with optimistic thoughts. I won’t say what bank it was, suffice it to say I didn’t use my stagecoach to get there!

As I walked into the bank, a nicely dressed gentleman greeted me. I told him I was early for my 9:30 interview, and he ushered me to a row of seats where I could comfortably wait.

From my vantage point, I could watch the tellers, see the safe deposit vault and hear and see a gentleman whose desk was right in the middle of everything.  Perhaps he was the head Branch Yenta, as he seemed to make himself a part of every discussion.

I had plenty of time to observe and try to absorb the activity in the bank.  The tellers were standing.  I suppose they stand all day in that one spot, apparently them being given a seat is not in the bank’s interest.  The bank wasn’t especially busy; with the storm coming, most people were likely out shopping for flashlights and batteries, although, every so often, a customer walked in and approached the tellers.  Without intentionally trying to eavesdrop, I heard their conversations clearly due to the way sound travelled.  (When thinking about it now, it’s probably designed intentionally so the higher-ups can hear what the tellers are discussing.)

Only a short time after my scheduled interview was to begin, the woman I was to speak with came out to greet me.  She brought me into the Branch Manager’s office where he was seated behind his desk.  The woman had a chair ready beside him and I was on the opposite side of the desk.  The arrangement definitely was not conducive to a welcoming feeling.

They began the interview by stating they would ask me a series of situations and I was to explain my course of action if the question was hypothetical or use my prior experience if the situation warranted.  Some of the questions were actually quite good, such as why I wanted to work for a bank, and I would think they could learn a lot about me from their questions, which is great for them. However, they certainly didn’t seem to care to explain much about the open position, in fact, they offered no explanation at all. 

I answered each of their questions thoughtfully and carefully.  I felt as though I was under arrest.  All they needed was harsh lighting and metal chairs and the ambiance would have been complete. 

After the questioning,  I already had the feeling that I was not comfortable in these surroundings.

They never did explain much about the opening, even after I asked.  All I learned is this position was not only low paying; it was also extremely high pressure!  Who needs that?  I could feel the heavy-handed, condescending attitude very strongly.  (And I was just a ‘visitor’!)  This was not a constructive atmosphere and certainly not a place I would want to spend any extended period of time.

I always heard that an interview goes both ways; they are interviewing you and you should be interviewing them.  However, this was the first time, in all my years and all my interviews, that I actually realized this to be true.  Even if they offered me this position, I didn’t want it.

Honestly, I am glad I went and even happier that when I discussed the position with family and friends they agreed with me that this was not a good move for me personally or professionally.  The interview and the potential position allowed me to appreciate all the good things about the retail job I currently have!  I work with a dear friend who is the Manager, I have decent hours and there is no pressure (except to collect email addresses)!  My job is fun at times, light-hearted even when we are working hard! Everyone cares for each other and we definitely work as a team.  We get our work done, but it’s with a smile, an honestly felt smile.

In other words, going on this interview allowed me to appreciate where I presently work.  I will never make a lot of money at my current job, but at least if I’m working for low pay, I am happy!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Rain is pounding…along with my heart



This is a frightening.  I am sitting here waiting to lose the power; the lights have already flickered.  The rain is pounding against the window to my right.  I am trying to ignore it, but that seems to be an impossibility. 

I can hear the weather report as my husband is listening in our bedroom across the hall.  They are speaking of tornado warnings and Trenton, NJ is shutting its water supply down.  We just filled the bathtub so we have water to wash with, but this is too weird.  The lights just flickered again.

I am fearful the power is going to go out momentarily, so I am saving this document after every sentence.  I can feel my anxiety rising, my heart pounding, this is for real.  We are going to lose power and it will be off for a looooooong time.  I am keeping an eye on the trees, watching them start to sway even though the winds aren’t close to what they will be shortly.  It’s going to be a long night.

It’s an hour later, we were warned that tornados were possible in our area and told to go in the basement where we huddled together for close to half an hour; my husband, my daughter, her boyfriend and my Mom.  Luckily, the electricity was still on,  but, as we played cards to pass the time , each of us trying to make light of the situation, I’m sure everyone was frightened.  I know I was.  Luckily, the warning time ended without a dreaded tornado making an appearance and we exhaustedly returned upstairs!


                                                                            ~

It is now Sunday and hopefully the worst of the storm is over even though the winds are blowing strongly.  At 3:15 AM this morning, we lost electricity.  The darkness that enveloped us all was unbelievable.  You truly could not see your hand in front of your face.  Fortunately, we had flashlights at the ready and an AM radio that I had purchased for $4 at the store where I work.  My poor little, old, dog, Popcorn, a cute Maltese, was terrified.  His bark in the darkness was heartbreaking.  I believe he was petrified and could not understand why he could not see.  Only when I turned the flashlight on, did his barking stop!

Without power, our sump pump was useless.  As the water filled, my husband used large sponges, great for washing the car, and he absorbed the water.  (Using 3 sponges at a time!)  He then poured the water into buckets, which I picked up and schlepped to the laundry tub to dump.  We did this for what seemed like hours, but it was, in reality, about an hour and a half.  Then, exhausted, without the strength for one more bucket, we decided to just sit and watch and see if the water rose.  We sat in glow of candles, with the inexpensive AM radio whispering storm updates, and watched the water gradually level off, without overflowing.  It seemed miraculous!  We dragged ourselves upstairs and collapsed into bed.

We woke a few hours later, still in the dark.  Disappointed that power had not returned, we went downstairs to check the basement.  With great relief, we found it was exactly as we had left it.  Cautiously optimistic, we went back upstairs to get dressed.  As the worst of the storm was supposidly over, and the rain was not heavy, we decided to take a ride, charge our cell phones, and get some coffee.  Easier said than done.

My Mom needed gas in her car so we drove it to fill her tank.  Our neighborhood was completely dark.  As we continued our trek, we saw that nothing was open, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, even Wawa, the local 24 hour convenience store that never closes, was closed!  We finally found one gas station open, but the lines were long and not moving.  We decided to keep moving.

All our regular morning stops were closed.  The roads were actually fairly dry with only a smattering of small branches strewn across.  We drove until we found the local supermarket open along with its gas station.  After filling my Mom’s car, we turned to the pressing, vital task of finding caffeine!! 

The McDonalds was open!  Cars were lined up on the shoulder of the street waiting to turn in and go through the drive-thru.  Puzzled as to why the long line when there was plenty of parking, we decided to park and I would run in and buy the coffee.  I ran through the heavy drizzle only to see a sign posted on the locked doors…Open, but Drive-Thru Only!  YIKES!!

Determined, we drove on.  Disappointment after disappointment, we finally decided to head back to the McDonald’s and just wait.  On the way, we once again went by our same supermarket and decided to head in and see what they had.  Since I shop there regularly, I knew they do not sell coffee normally, but it was worth the chance.  Wow, are they smart!  They had their employee coffee pots brewing pot after pot!  We bought 4 large cups, donuts and muffins and triumphantly drove home, cell phones charged and fully caffeinated!

The rest of the family was awake by this point and we proudly brought in the coffee!  Successful morning trip…. but still, no power in the house!  We sat around the living room coffee table (appropriately named) and enjoyed the brew and some great conversation. 

We decided to stay home and keep an eye on the basement, although the offer to visit my brother, who had power, was tempting and sweet.  We read by the light of the window.

About an hour and a half later, as I was reading and dozing, I heard a wonderful hum, the power had returned!  Jubilantly, I announced to all that we had power!!  Within seconds, we texted the news to all who were waiting to hear!  How appreciative and thankful we are!  Electricity is GREAT!!

The winds are still howling and I hope the power stays on and the trees remain in the upright position…I also hope this is where this story ends, with gratitude for the health and safety of all our family and friends!


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Irene’s Knocking at the door…don’t let her in!!



Yesterday was wild at the store!   There was an unmistakable air of both anxiety and excitement. The feeling was palpable.  Macho men strolled in, acting as though they weren’t concerned, frightened, or worried.  They made fun of all the “media hype”, (meanwhile, there were there buying batteries and flashlights)! 

Most people just wanted to be prepared.  Aside from snack food, water, and “D” batteries, coloring books and weaving games were being bought as parents realized game systems were not an option.  It was fun watching the young kids looking forward to playing chess and checkers, cards, and board games.  Crafts were huge, with construction paper, scissors, crayons, and markers flying off the shelves. 

I was exhausted when I got home, but we still needed to buy ice, get gas in the car and I wanted fruit – (a girls gotta eat!).  So, out we went.  The gas stations were unbelievable.  The station we usually go to could no longer accept charge cards as their system went down due to the overload!  Everyone was scrounging for cash!  Luckily, most people were amicable, cooperative and just taking it all in stride.  Strangers were asking other strangers questions, people were talking to each other that otherwise would not.  I suppose that is a pleasant fact.

I spent most of my time this morning cooking.  Frozen chicken and ground turkey are now able to be eaten cold…. no sense keeping them in the freezer where they are of no use.  The electric company is warning of power outages lasting over 4 days, so nothing in the freezer will be worth saving anyway, might as well eat it up!!

I washed all the clothes and towels and ran the dishwasher.  What else can I do?   I suppose we are as prepared as we can be, considering the one thing we really need and really wanted to buy, but could not get our hands on, is a home generator.  All generators are sold out and have been for days, even in stores located over an hour away.  I know because I called every last one.

I hope the phones work through the storm, that’s a big concern.  I also hope the basement doesn’t flood since without power, our sump pump is worthless.   I hope all trees stay in their upright position – not horizontal on the cars or roof of the house!  But, those things are out of my control.  So, I am here, waiting for the doorbell to ring and Irene to come bearing her gifts of powerful winds of torrential rain.  Maybe she'll close her eye and go away????

Friday, August 26, 2011

Irene is Coming



Hurricane Irene is going to strike our area; this is not good news.  In the suburbs of Philadelphia, we are used to snowstorms, blizzards, Nor’easters, but not Hurricanes!  The warnings are up and we are in the “cone”, an area expected to get 5 – 10 inches of rain and 50 – 70 mile an hour winds.  The prediction itself is nerve wrecking!  Watching the New Jersey shore be evacuated is upsetting. Seeing the video of newsmen standing in the ocean in their suit pants, being pelted by waves is just foolish.

All week, my husband and I were looking forward to seeing our son and his lovely girlfriend at their apartment this weekend.  Even the four-hour drive was something I was looking forward to.  We haven’t seen them in two weeks and so much has changed for them! My son's classes have begun. He is so very busy every day, 12 hour school days followed by long hours of work at home! His girlfriend has started a new job and is working tirelessly, coming home late at night. Together, they are getting adjusted to their new life.  We were so excited to see them this weekend, hug them, enjoy being with them, but now that’s not looking like an option!

Hurricane Irene is expected to pound our area beginning tomorrow evening, escalating through the night and, with any luck, leaving by Sunday night.  The chance of losing power is probably not a chance but a certainty.  The reality is trees will be uprooted, but, where will they fall?  When we lose power our sump pump will stop working which means our basement will flood.  Our heater and so many other things, too large to move are down there. The damage that could be is just devastating! 

As for preparations, we went to the market last night and bought water and other non-perishable food.  We do have peanut butter - it was one of the items on the "must have" list!  It’s a frightening feeling to know something is coming that could be so destructive yet there is only so much you can do to prepare and protect everyone and everything, the rest is out of our hands. 

Today, I will go to the store where I work; I’m sure we will sell a lot of batteries, the flashlights are already long gone.  I just wish I could think of what else to do to prepare!

Finally, I am nervous about being out-of-touch.  If we lose the power we have been told we have 4 hours of battery back up for our phones, that’s all.  Without phones and without the Internet, I won’t be able to hear from my son.  That makes me extremely anxious.  I know we are the ones in the path of Irene, but I need to know he’s okay, too! I have a car charger and can use it for my cell phone, running the car in the garage for short amounts of time with the garage door open and rain pouring, hammering in; but what if cell service goes down, which is a possibility?!

I am thankful my daughter and her boyfriend will be here this weekend. I am especially glad since New York is even more of a direct target, and if they weren't going to be here, they'd be there.  My nephew lives there, in his new home, and I am sending good thoughts his way!

It’s my goal to chronicle the storm through this blog.  Even when the power is gone, I will write the old fashioned way, with pen and paper, and post it afterward....at least that’s the plan. 

Please take care out there!  Go buy your peanut butter, crunchy or creamy or both and be sure you have water! I’ll see you here later!!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Interview this Morning - Earthquake two days ago - Hurricane this weekend!




In about a half hour I will leave for my interview.  I did my homework on the company and have my resume and references ready.  I used to feel optimistic when going on an interview and never really doubted I’d get the position I was going for, until the last year.

This last year has shown me that experience, education, and knowledge are not necessarily desirable.  I’m not sure what is anymore.  I am wearing my 'new' suit with the matching uncomfortable shoes and I will be sure to wear a smile.  I suppose all I can do is be who I am and hope for the best.  They are interviewing today and tomorrow, so there are many I’m competing with for this position.    

Wish me luck! 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Loud Music = Socialism?



Saturday morning, the sun was out, the sky was blue, and I was busy working the register at my retail job.  The customers were actively buying both “Back To School” items and the last of the summer fun equipment, boogie boards, floats, etc.  I only had a short shift that morning so I was happy and smiling.

A middle-aged woman walked across the store to reach the refrigerated drinks, as she passed by the register, she complained to me that the music in the store is so loud she can’t stand to shop here for one more minute!  I saw the look on her face and tried to defuse the situation agreeing with her that the music is a bit loud at times. (Although it wasn’t loud that morning because I put it on lower than the rest of management) I smiled and said it was company policy to keep things upbeat creating a fun atmosphere.  I even did a little silly dance to illustrate “happy”!

The customer was not willing to let it go.  She walked up to me, put her drink on the counter, looked me in the eyes and said, “It’s Socialism”!  I honestly thought she was kidding; her comment was so ludicrous!  I couldn’t believe any grown woman could possibly be so misinformed, so ignorant. I responded by joking that it was just company policy to play the music happily through the day and I followed by asking if she was ready to check out.  (Trying to change the subject.)

It was then that I realized this woman was not joking.  She was actually a bit unhinged.  She looked me in the eyes and said, “If you don’t see the socialism that it being thrust on all of us now, I refuse to shop here!”  With that, she picked up the items she was going to buy and threw them at my face!  Luckily, she was not very strong and the counter is bigger across than she expected. The items fell short of hitting me, but her freaked out look is one I will never forget.  Her two children who looked to be around 7 and 8 years old started crying.  They wanted their toys!!  They cried as they ran after the woman!  She hurriedly left the store without looking back.

My co-worker looked at me and we both just stood there, shell shocked!

The experience shook me for many reasons.  First of all, obviously, the woman is a bit nutty, aside from brainwashed.  She is not only clueless on what “socialism” is but is clearly using it as a buzzword for all her built in hatred, anger and fear. But, will she come back?  Will she come back with a gun?  These are the people you hear about who shoot those who don’t think as they do.

The experience bothered me all through the day.  Hatred is ugly.  Ignorance and anger is frightening.



Sunday, August 21, 2011

Starting a diet today, but is that Chocolate I hear calling??!!



Last night, I postponed getting dressed for an engagement party my husband and I would be attending as I knew finding something to wear was going to be a problem. My clothes have been feeling uncomfortable lately.  Slacks that used to be roomy were now snug; this is never a good sign.  My hopes of feeling decent about how I would look were not high. 

Eventually, the time had come.  With trepidation I walked into my closet and simply stared at the choices.  I knew there was my standard black dress that would be my fall back item, but I’ve worn it many times before and didn’t really want to wear it again.  One by one I slid my clothes from one side of the rod to the other.  I had some very nice black slacks from the time I lost 24 pounds on Weight Watchers.   They would be perfect, if they were two sizes larger.  Or, even better, if I was presently two sizes smaller!  In reality, those slacks were not even an option.

The sliding continued.  There was a lovely blouse that would really dress up the black slacks I recently bought, slacks that do fit.  With confidence I took the blouse from the closet and tried it on.  It looked absolutely horrible!  What was up should be down, what was down should be up, and what should not be, was!  Disgusted, I took the blouse off, throwing it on the bed with rising panic. At this point I had 40 minutes to get ready. I returned to the closet.

One by one, items I used to feel comfortable in, items that used to look relatively nice, fit right, were tossed on the bed.  Nothing was working.  I decided to take a break and apply my make-up.  Something had to get done at least!

Looking in the mirror, applying eye shadow, I realized, it’s time.  I need to go back on Weight Watchers, or do something of equal value right away.  Excuses need to stop.  Decision made – but I still needed to get dressed for the party!!

I returned to the closet.  I reached for my tried and true black dress.  Luckily, it fit; unluckily, it didn’t fit right.  It zipped, hallelujah, but it was just all wrong.  Now I was in deep trouble.  My husband was giving me a 20-minute warning and there I was, with no options.  THIS was a problem.

In the end I grabbed a loose fitting summer sweater and dressed it up with jewelry, but this has to end.  So, I am promising here and now to watch what I eat.  But wait, my husband just brought a snickers bar in the room and he’s offering me a bite…it looks so darn good!!  One bite, just one………….??

How many points to one bite????

Who starts a diet on Sunday anyway?????

Friday, August 19, 2011

Never Accept a Rotten Tomato!



My Grandmother was one in a million.  She was loving, funny, and direct.  She would offer honest, actually brilliant, words of advice.  I can’t repeat some of her words-of-wisdom in writing as they are a bit “off-color”, but, there was always one piece of mandatory advice that she would offer publicly and consistently, “never accept a rotten tomato"!

Growing up, lunch out on Saturday was a pleasant ritual.  The relatives attending included at least 10 of us.  My Grandmother, her two sisters, four Aunts, two of which were named Anita - there was big and little Anita - big Anita was shorter but older; the whole thing confused me for years! Finally, rounding out the bunch were my 3 cousins and I.  We were the regulars.  We would meet at 12:30 in the afternoon each and every Saturday.

Lunch always included my Grandmother and her sisters having a loving argument about something or other, sometimes about something that happened 40 years prior.  Their sister-in-law would pick a side and at that point, it would get loud.  My “younger” aunts would discuss where we were going to go shopping after lunch and my cousins and I would watch in amazement and hope we were allowed a cookie from the bakery after we finished our lunch.

Inevitably, my Grandmother would order something that came with a slice or two of tomato.  She was particular about her tomato slice.  I can hear her say, “I don’t eat garbage home, so I won’t eat it out!”  Just as it was certain my Grandmother would order something with tomato, it was just as certain that the one of the tomatoes on her plate or one on someone else’s plate for that matter, would be unacceptable.  It would either be green inside or they would serve the end slice.  In any case, the tomato would have to be returned to the kitchen, but not before my Grandmother showed the tomato to the waitress, holding it up and proudly stating that she would not eat such garbage.

When I was very young, this ritual seemed funny. There was my Grandmother, holding a slice of tomato, high off the plate, displaying it with importance, explaining and illustrating why it was not up to par.  I didn’t fully understand why it was so important to her, or why she just didn’t refrain from ordering tomato, but as I grew older I began to understand.

My Grandmother lived through the depression.  She lived within a strict budget for most her life. When she was on Social Security, I remember her always stating that she was on a fixed income.  She felt that if she was paying for something, it should be worthy.  At home, she was just as particular and would never eat anything that wasn’t in top condition, so why would she do so when she was paying a premium?

My Grandmother wasn’t a big spender, but when she spent, she enjoyed it.  This is a great lesson for the economic times of today.  It’s not that spending is bad or evil, but when you spend; make certain it’s worthy.  Throwing money around on things that are poor quality is simply absurd.  And, if someone is passing something off on you that is not up to your standards, you need to stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be pushed around. My Grandmother was a smart woman, one not easily taken advantage of by anyone, and that’s a great thing.

When I think about those long ago days, I now understand why that tomato slice was so important to my Grandmother and what lesson she was trying to teach us all.  Don’t let anyone give you anything less than what you deserve.  You don't need a lot, but be sure to enjoy what you buy.  And, in life, never accept a rotten tomato!  


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Embrace Miracles instead of Looking for Grievances!



"Make a commitment to embrace a miracle rather than a grievance", this is a statement I came across on the Deepak Chopra website just a few minutes ago.  Wow, did it hit home! Complaining, being frustrated, takes no effort at all.  Let’s face it, there's always something to complain about! In any given day at any given moment, whether you're just watching television and there are too many commercials, or you're driving to the store and there's too much traffic; no matter what’s happening, it’s easy to focus on an annoyance.  But, making a commitment to embrace a miracle rather than pay attention to a grievance, that takes practice, awareness, and sometimes the willingness to go along with someone else’s wishes.

For instance, in June we celebrated my son’s graduation by going on an extraordinary cruise through Scandinavia and the British Isles.  The time spent was a dream come true.  It was full of beautiful surroundings, peaceful relaxation and time with family and friends – nothing better.  However, in one of the ports of call, Dublin, Ireland, we went on a walking tour.  The tour itself was super! The green grass, the tour guide, even the bird that left his natural droppings on our sneakers and backs that made us laugh, was great.  However, the tour ended with a stop at a local pub. The stop included a free half-pint of Guinness or another beverage of choice.  I was a bit tired and when I peeked into the pub, it was beyond crowded, standing room only.  By this point I simply wanted to sit down and I must admit I was a bit ‘crabby’ as I didn’t feel like fighting crowds.  But, everyone else wanted to go inside, so I followed, a bit annoyed. 

Needing a stop in the ladies room, my friend and I weaved our way to the back of the pub.  It wasn’t any easy task but we made it.  The ladies room was empty, thankfully, and the room to take a breath was appreciated.  Feeling a bit more relaxed, we left the ladies room and that’s when I noticed someone special.

His back was toward me, but his long gray hair grabbed my attention.  It was obvious he was someone very special.  As I walked by him, I turned to see who belonged to this unique look.  It was none other than Donovan!  Donovan!!  The 60’s mellow, music maker that I adored my entire life!  There he was, having a drink with two other folks!  Just sitting there like “a real person”!

After debating whether or not to walk up to him, I realized this was a once in a lifetime chance! With all the bravery I could muster, I walked over to him and asked if he was indeed, Donovan.  He looked at me and smiled the warmest smile I could have imagined.  He stated yes, he was Donovan!  I apologized for having intruded on his time and thanked him for all the beauty his music had added to my life. His eyes sparkled and he told me that in Dublin, anyone can and should say hello at any time.  We chatted for around five minutes.  I can’t possibly express how nice, how kind, how welcoming he was.  It was a moment of time I will always treasure, and it made that stop in the crowded pub go from something I didn’t want to do, to one of the most memorable, special experiences of the trip!

This truly was a grievance that became a miraculous moment!  A lesson to be learned, keep your mind and heart open and go with the flow, you never know where it might lead!

Wishing you all unexpected, miraculous moments!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Living in the Unknown



Even those who think they have it all figured out, don't. Life throws curve balls at each of us, we know it and we're usually ready to either duck the pitch or hit it straight on.  Hitting straight on is the best option since then you take off, you run the bases, you succeed. Ducking only saves that pitch from smacking you in the head, but the next one will hurl towards you before you know it.


With that crazy baseball analogy in hand (and I'm not even a baseball fan) it's time for me to learn to hit the ball in the stands.  No ducking, no fouls.  I get distracted; crowd noise, concessions, mascots, they all take attention away from what I need to focus on.  I hear conflicting advice from caring people, I have errands I need to do, and politics and news events sidetrack me.  All these occurrences change my focus. They cause me to spend time not thinking about what I need to think about, they're distractions - pure and simple and I allow them to cause me to duck.

Okay, I'm focusing, but my mind turns blank at first. I'm closing my eyes and typing.  Weird how that always seems to help - closes out the distractions, freeing my mind from thought and just letting the feelings spill out.

Obviously, writing is my passion.  Whether I'm a decent writer or not, I can't say, but it is in my soul. That's all well and good, but it's not going to pay the bills - or is it? Finding a job writing, is that really possible?  Perhaps making this blog open to the world of advertising?  Could this be what I am meant to do? 

I don't want to duck the pitches anymore; it's time to hit the ball out of the park.  May the concessions give me energy, may the cheers unite behind me and may the mascot give me courage!  Batter-up!!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Today is my Daughter's Birthday!!


Twenty-eight years ago today I gave birth to my precious, beloved daughter.  I vividly remember lying in the labor room with my husband by my side. I could hear the traffic outside as early-risers were heading to work on a Tuesday morning.  How could this be just another day for them? 
By this time of the morning, labor had gone on for almost 9 hours. I was exhausted and nervous.  The fetal monitor made an alarming sound and the doctor rushed in, afraid she wasn’t getting enough oxygen.  They made me lie on my left side as they placed oxygen on my nose and mouth.  
The room was quiet except for the beeping of the monitor.  The glass partition to the hallway suddenly opened and I expected to see another physician, but, miraculously, it was my Dad.
He tiptoed over and bent down gently to reach me. Quietly he whispered in my ear, “I had to tell them I had something important to tell you in order to get in the room. And I do.  I want you to know how much I love you, how proud I am of you.”  And with those words, I knew everything would be okay. He gave me a soft kiss on my cheek as he looked deeply into my eyes.  I will never forget his look of love and support.  As always, he was there for me.
Six hours later, my amazing daughter entered the world.  The happiness that filled my heart that moment has only grown larger and deeper. With every stage of her life the love and pride in my heart just keeps growing. I look at her and I am filled with awe and inspiration.
My daughter’s birthday is today.  She means the world to me.  She makes me laugh; she brings love, compassion, humor, joy, pride, and friendship.  She is smart, thoughtful, caring, funny and just all around amazing.  I am so proud of her, of who she was as a little girl and who she has become as a woman.  I am impressed and so very thankful for her - always. 
From the moment she entered the world, the world became a magnificent place.  Wherever she goes, she makes everything better.  Like my Father’s kiss, she encourages me. The love my Dad once showered on me, the knowledge that he was always there to support me through that intense look of love in his eyes at that special moment, I hope she knows I pass that love on to her.
To my precious daughter, I love you with all my heart and soul.  I wish you all the love, joy, happiness and success your heart can hold. May good health, peace and love be with you, always. Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! Thank you for being you!

Monday, August 15, 2011

The Time Has Come


We started out early in the morning, made the four hour drive with cars loaded, and arrived at my son's new apartment.  It is truly a lovely apartment.  He and his girlfriend chose wisely.  The apartment was in great shape.  New carpet, new kitchen appliances, fresh paint.......it's spacious and has a nice flow.  I can see why they picked this location.


We spent the next 36 hours bringing in furniture and food, dishes and bedding.  Their mattress was delivered promptly and we even had a dinette set and a new sofa bed brought in before we left the next day.  Grocery shopping was done, refrigerator and cabinets are now stocked.  Shelves and tv stands are built, internet is connected, all systems go.......so, we had to.


The time arrived to say good-bye.  Wow.  Difficult is an understatement.  I knew it would be hard, everyone told me to expect that, and being the over-protective, worrying Mom I am, I knew it would be extra tough....but this tough?


I think my husband and I cried for the first 100 miles of the ride.  It didn't matter that it wasn't raining, the water falling from our eyes provided the same condition.  We consoled each other that he was doing what he wanted, that this is his dream and always has been.  Since he was a little boy, my son always wanted to go into scientific research, hopefully finding a cure for cancer one day.  Big goals, but if anyone can do it, it's him.  It does help knowing he is doing this for all the right reasons.  He is pursuing his dream and he might just help millions by doing so.  I am so very proud of him.  At times, his compassionate intelligence is downright startling.  He is in the right place......for now.


He is in the right place.  I'll say that again.  I know that to be true.  This is the best program, well-funded, well-organized and just right.  We'll adjust and this will be the new norm for us all.  But, it will take time.  Yesterday I cried in the refrigerator aisle of the grocery store as I passed by the vegetarian sausage I used to buy for him every week...but didn't need to buy it this week.  So, for a little while, when you see a middle-aged woman crying in the refrigerator aisle, just know, she'll be okay.....eventually.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Oh No!...A former co-worker and I'm here!!


As part of my work history, I was once a Realtor.  I enjoyed being my own boss and meeting people, helping them find or sell a home.  It was rewarding personally and financially for many years.  However, after about a decade, there were some warning signs that it was time to move on.  Safety issues came up and they were a bit upsetting, so, I left the real estate profession.
Fast forward to present day, when, as an under-employed woman, I am working part-time at a retail store.  I wear a T-Shirt with the company logo, not a business suit, and I punch a clock.   I try not to feel self-conscious, but at times it creeps up on me.   For example, yesterday…I was going about my work day, it was busy in the store because it’s “Back to School” time and we were busy selling all the necessary supplies every student needs; backpacks, notebooks, pens, pencils, folders, pop-tart holders (yes, you read that right), etc.   Anyway, while at the cash register I looked up to see a very nicely dressed woman with her college-aged son. 
In a moment of panic I realized I used to share an office with her back when we were both selling real estate.  Judging by her clothes and her rushed demeanor, I believe she is absolutely still ‘in the business’.  At first I felt mortified at her seeing me in the t-shirt behind the register.  What would she think?  Then, it hit me; let’s treat this as a psychology experiment.  If she saw me, she would definitely remember me…but, what if the person behind the cash register is so low on the totem poll, that they (me) go totally unnoticed?
She waited politely behind the woman in front of her.  As her turn came to be, she was still chatting with her son.  I politely said, “hello”, and looked at her, trying to catch her eyes.  She was busy chatting.  I totaled her order and told her the price.  She fumbled in her wallet, going through a myriad of cards, pulled out a Discover card.  I politely told her that we only accept Visa or MasterCard.  Once again, I dared her to look at me, nonverbally of course.  She mumbled something and dove back into her wallet.  Triumphantly, she came up with a Visa, handed it to me, and resumed her discussion with her son.
I swiped her card and was assured, after reading the name, that she definitely was who I thought she was.  There was no way she would not know me if she would just look up.  I asked her to sign the slip, handed her the bag with her supplies, and thanked her for coming in.  She smiled, took her bag, handed it to her son, and then walked out of the store.  She never even noticed me.
            That encounter taught me quite a lot.  It’s amazing to me how little people acknowledge others in positions of little or no respect.  If she had looked up for a second, caught my eye just once, she would have been astonished to see someone who had been such a successful Realtor, now working behind a retail counter.  I don’t know if she would have thought less of me or not, but the point is that she obviously considered me a non-person.  Someone of absolutely no regard; and that, in my opinion, turns the tables on the entire incident.
I am a good worker, an honest worker.  I am intelligent and thoughtful.  I will not allow myself to feel embarrassed at where I am presently working.  If anyone thinks less of me, or doesn’t even notice me, because of what I am doing, then it is them that should feel embarrassed, not me.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Just One Week


One week until my son moves 4 hours away.  One more week of having him home, hearing him on the computer, having meals together, knowing he’s awake, knowing he’s asleep.  Just one more week of life like this. 

Next week, life changes.  It changes the way it’s supposed to change.  As a parent, all I want is for my children to be healthy, happy, productive, loved and safe.  I know I won’t be here forever, so they need to be able to make their way, and thankfully, both my son and my daughter are intelligent, competent, and making decisions that are thoughtful and positive.  I admire each of them so very much and am excited about the prospects that are ahead for them.

But, he’s still leaving next week.  He’ll be taking another step toward his future goals, and it’s a great step, but it’s a giant leap from childhood this time.  He’s making his own money and living on his own with his amazing girlfriend.  I love the way they support and laugh together and the deep love they have found together.  But, he’s leaving next week.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Deeply Beautiful


           
             In a world of stone cottages and beautiful flowers, with the scent of summer in the air and family by my side, the day is perfect.  The morning air is light on my skin and the temperature is warm, just right for a walk in the country.  Whenever my troubles get the best of me, I try to return to that day in mid-June.  A day in Cherbourg, France, a day of serenity and beauty like I’ve never experienced before.
            It was only a short time ago that I was there, walking in the midst of all that beauty.  Hard to believe now with so many worries, anxieties, hassles, crashing all around me, that the time truly existed in reality.  How could it be?  How could such a perfect day exist?  How long until the next day like that and is it possible to make that feeling a real part of every day?
            Of course being on vacation has a feel all its own.  There are no beds to be made, no dinners to cook, no schedules to keep.  But, that being said, there is something special about a location so full of beauty that it captivates every sense.  The smells, the sounds, the sights, all of them breathtaking in their magnificence; the beauty permeates into your soul and a feeling of deep peace enters and makes its home there.  I can’t imagine the luxury of living in such beauty, day in and day out.  Would it become commonplace?  Is that possible?  Do the inhabitants of this luxury take it for granted?  Is that simply human nature?
            I watched, standing by the water, as a man worked getting his fishing boat out.  I’m sure it was not an easy task and as he worked the knots and pushed the boat along, did he see the beauty that was around him or did he see another day at work?  Was he worrying about the fish he would catch that day, and thinking what would be if he didn’t catch enough?  Now that I am home on my computer, is he out there on his boat, surrounded by all that beauty, worrying about all the things that could go wrong, or is he soaking in his surroundings?  I hope he is appreciating the lovely part of this world that he inhabits every day.  I hope I have the ability to carry the beauty of Cherbourg with me and use it to appreciate the beauty of my own life.